PAGE FOUR MAROON AND GOLD SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 1942 JOLTS AND JARS By John “Jekyll and Hyde" Pollard It is only because we have such a deep affection (T) for our readers (?) that we write this tiipe. Maybe you're interested in how we happened to start writing (?) this stuff several years ago. If you are not interested go on back and read ‘Snip and Snoop’ again. It happened that our predecessor had just died and the editor (God bless him, no one else did) was look ing for a replacement. Being of an inquisitive nature and facing tho print shop, we got wind of his dire predicament. So we went in and with as much nerve as some radio vocalists, we opened our great big blue eyes and spouted forth, "We are deeply grieved to hear of the Music Editor’s death. Would you like for us to take his place?” "Very much," replied the editor, “if you could get the undertaker to arrange it.” The undertaker took one look and we've been writing this mess ever since. So with the reckless abandonment of an M-4 tank after a bunch of Japs, or a sailor with a hundred bucks and twenty-four hours shore leave, we set to work (?) throwing together letters, words, phrases, etc., that Guttenberg (Note to Freshmen: He invented the printing press) couldn't even recognize much less Noah Web ster (Second note to Freshmen: The Webster of dictionary fame). How ever our efforts didn’t go unnoticed because we were presented a first de gree indictment for murdering the English language and on the good side. Dr. Smith was snowed under with requests for a course in the new language known in not-so-polite cir cles as “Pollardish". Our good fortune seemed to have run out when word got to the dead music editor that he wouldn't have to take any of Dean Messick's Edu cation courses to graduate and he popped back on campus with a fresh and invigorating outlook on life. But Flowers For All Occasions WF. APPRECIATE YOUR PATRONAGE Moorefield Florist Two Dddrs Below rarainouiit Burliii;t(m, N. (\ BEST FRIEND • • • of the well groomed is the Cleaner — See him regularly. Blalocks Tailoring Shop • * • BURLINGTON, N. C. Across From Paramount after one week-end on campus he de cided he’d rather be shot by Japs than bored to death here because at least he could fight back out there. Being as how this column was or iginally devoted entirely to music and music reviews and to some ex tent still is, we review Harry James and Orchestra. Harry James and his Music Makers Currently the most popular band in the business, Harry James, didn't get that way over night. Many times since James left “the King”, Benny Goodman, we have doubted the pos sibilities of Harry James and his Mu sic Makers ever becoming a number one band. But now after a waver ing start James has reached the pin nacle of dance'-bandom success— America's number one dance band. If ever a band deserved the name, the present Harry James crew does. No matter the type, the mood, the tempo, the style, or the piece, the by word of popular music addicts is "Harry James does it better"—and rightfully so, because music by this A-1 band is consistently good listen ing whether it be sweet or swing. However, don't take our word for his versatility, his populairty, or the listening ability of his aggregation; just catch a James broadcast from a hotel in New York, or a restaurant in Chicago, or a night club on the coast, or any place that's known for its good bands. Because where there are good bands James is there, has just left or will be in soon—or check on the recordings made by the band, or as final indication, see the movies starring Harry James and his Music Makers. For a band to pack 'em in. please 'em, and sell 'em the way this band does it has to have what it takes and the Music Makers have what it takes. As you can see from the above stuff we are really hard working and energetic. And speaking of hard work reminds us of the job (?) we held (?) our freshman year (the first one). We had been assigned to assist Mr. Apple in sawing down and nail ing up the college. On the first day that we reported —for work (?) he asked, “Are you a good carpenter”? I To which we answered. “Yes”— being very modost^—as usual. j “’Then how do you make a Vene tian blind"? He asked. “Stick your finger in his eye,” we answered merrily and holding our sides. Well, it was more fun raking leaves anyway. We were sorry to have to wake her up. but formaldehyde is not a new kind of leather. One of the editors of a North Caro lina daily explained his editorial po licy to us the other day. He aims at the man in the street. We did too until gasoline and tire rationing came along. A friend of ours is in the hospital, but it doesn’t look like he’ll be out as soon as was expected. You can’t blame him though, she certainly is a good looking nurse. We understand that this happened on Professor Barney’s freshman Eng lish class the other day. However, we can’t vouch for the authenticity of it because we weren’t there—this year. Prof. Barney—Mr. Poe, correct this sentence: Girls is naturally better looking than boys. Gene Poe—Girls is artificially bet ter looking than boys. And about this blood donorlng bu siness, we’ve already given a pint of blood this year. Certainly hope the mosquitoes appreciate it! With the following we leave both of you. but before we go we’d like to say that the following is much more appropriate if certain words are changed— It’s a funny world. If a man gets money, he’s a grafter. If he keens it, he’s a capitalist. If he spends it, he’s a play boy. If he doesn’t get it. he’s a ne’er-do-well. If he doesn’t try to get it, he lacks ambition. If he gets it without working for it, he’s a parasite. And if he accumulates it after a life time of hard work, he's a sucker. The moral of which is: why read “How to Win Friends and In fluence People”—you can't win any how, or you can't have your cake and eat it too, or who cares? So long. iyiCTORY BUY UNITED STATES DEFENSE SONDS STAMPS T. N. BOONE Tailor For Elon Students SINCE 1914 WANT A PIPE? r WE HAVE IT CITY DRUG CO. I Burlington, N. C. whenever Ycu Are In Need Of Watch Repairing Remember You' re Always Welcome At Our Store TroHingers Buy Direct And Save Members Florists Telegraph Delivery Best In Flowers Burlington, N. C. Styl Burlington Quality Economy C A. LEA Phone 777 Bus And Taxi Service Call 777 For Quick, Dependable Taxi Service To And Frons Burlington And Elsewhsre West Front Street Burlington, N. C. Hood Sporting Goods Co. 205 West Front St, Burlington N. C. SCHOOL SWEATERS AND JACKETS TENNIS RACQUETS AND BALLS TABLE TENNIS AND BADMINTON SETS SOFTBALLS AND PLAYGROUND BALLS GYM SHORTS AND BASKETBALL SHOES FOOTBALLS Special Prices to High School and College Students Make Our Store Your Headquarters While In Burlington IN THE BOMBER COMMAND they say: "OFFICE" for the bombardier’s place "GREENHOUSE" for plane’s transparent nose "ROGER" for okay or all right "CAMEL" for the Army man’s favorite cigarette FIRST IN THi SiRVICE With men In the Army, Navy, Marines, and Coast Guard, the favorite cigarette is Camel. (Based on actual sales records in Post Exchanges and Canteens.) R. J. lUyooldiTobMcoCoiDpan;. Wlniton'Salem, NorthCirollnt The” T-Zone" where cigarettes are judged ITS STRICTLY CAMELS WITH ME, THAT RICH, FULL FLAVOR ALWAYS TASTES GREAT. AND they're MILDER ALL WAYS The"T-ZONE"—Taste and Throat—is the prov- ing ground for cigarettes. Only your taste and throat can decide which cigarette tastes best to you... and how it affects your throat. For your taste and throat are absolutely individual to you. Based on the experience of millions of smokers, we believe Camels will suit your "T-ZONE" to a "T." Prove it for yourself! CAMEL COSTLIER TOBACCOS I tTVRKlSH & DOMESTIQ. \ BLEND CIGARETTES