PAGE FOUR
MAROON AND GOLD
SATURDAY, JANUARY 30, 1943
JOLTS AND JARS
By JOHN POLLARD
They say college changes a person,
but we weren't aware of just how fast
this change takes place in person until
we overheard one freshman explain
ing to another how much he had
changed.
“Yeah," he said, "when 1 first came
here I was pretty conceited, but they
knocked and cut all of that out of me.
and now I'm one of the best fellows
In the college.”
No doubt you heard about the one
that was pulled on Dr. Bowden's Re
ligious class: if not. it went something
like this:
Dr. Bowden: What do you think of
Buddha?
Guess Who: Oh, it's all right, but \
think oleomargarine is just as good.
And speaking of religion, we had
the occasion during the holidays to
hear a colored preacher attempt to
explain the fury of hell to his flock.
"Yo' all is seen meltin' metal run-
nin' outta da furnace, ain’t yo’?”
The flock answered in the affirma
tive.
"Wal. dey uses dat stuff fer ice
cream in de place I’se speakin’ of.”
But to get back to college again,
we understand that something like
the following was transacted between
Prof. Barney and an “embryonic dip-
Dear Diary
By Mary Denson
Br-r-r-r-r!l! Still haven’t recovered
altogether from that cold weather!
The weatherman certainly has been
outdoing himself lately with the signs
of spring, and then suddenly “spring
ing” on us with weather something
like what we imagine would be at the
North Pole. Oh, well, who are we to
talk about the weather? What is to
be, is to be—or something.
Not much happening lately. Dear
Diary, but we'll record a few high
lights anyway.
January 20th.—One of our annual
formal banquets tonight was held
in honor of the opera “The Marriage
of Figaro,” presented to the faculty
and student body (and outsiders) in
Whitley. Everyone enjoyed im
mensely the appetizers in the Re
ception Hall—and the banquet! (The
decorations were very appropriate,
too!) The opera—and the whole eve
ning—was immensely successful. May
we have more like it.
January 30th.—One of the big days
on our calendar. The Freshman-Soph-
omore Reception. The Freshmen have
been making big plans for it, and I
know we'll all enjoy it. There's a
rumor that they even may have an
orchestra. Everyone is looking for
ward to this reception—and trying
to get dates! Oh. how we envy the
lucky ones! The good part of it is.
somaniac” member of his freshman I though, that the Freshman and Soph
omore girls may also ask the boys,
and vice versa. So there’s still a
chance for us a date, girls!
Now Dear Diary, we'll "bull " a
while—and speaking of "bull," those
new girls’ rules I mentioned before
weren’t just that but have actually
taken effect in a wonderful way, and
the results are very pleasing. I know
our faculty appreciates the changes in
some girls' grades, and so will these
same girls when the grades come
I ’round again. Orchids to the coun
cil and the girls for cooperating so
well.
. . . These boys’ and girls’ basket
ball games certainly are attracting a
lot of interest. The games are really
stimulating to watch—and to play!
It’s really fun to see all our friends
playing for their own particular team
and to cheer them. We can hardly
wait for the tournament to start and
see what two teams are the winners.
The competition in both the boys’ and
girls’ teams is really strong, so no
one can judge who will be on top in
the end. But keep it up, all you teams,
you’re doing swell!
. . . That dreaded Initiation Week
is finally over, and all the pledges are
at last breathing naturally again. But
we certainly will miss the entertain
ment presented to us by some of these
pledges. It's too bad we can’t be
honored by those “command” per
formances” all year—or is it!!??!
. . . Dear Diary, I think everyone
knows about Allen Colenda, our reg
ular linotypist and general flunky (!)
of the M. and G., leaving school for
the navy. The whole staff, and es
pecially “Chief,” was left at a great
loss and worried no end, thinking per
haps we had seen our last issue of this
alleged paper. But the day was saved
when Mr. Robinson stepped in and
competently took over. We certainly
cannot express our thanks enough to
him for doing this for Elon—and us.
j And hW about the neat and clean
M. and G. room! That in itself is a
I miracle which no one has ever at
tempted to do in, say, the last decade
or two. So, orchids to you, Mr. Rob
inson, from Elon student body and
Maroon and Gold staff!
. . . So, no more is left to be said
that I can remember at this time.
Dear Diary, except perhaps we'll see
you later.
English class when they were study
ing spelling:
Prof. Barney: Spell "straight "
Dipso: S-t-r-a-i-g-h-t.
Prof. Barney: Correct. Now, what
does it mean?
Dipso: Without ginger ale.
The other day while breezing
through the Biology department, we
learned that the difference between a
snake and a flea is that a snake
crawls on its stomach and a flea isn’t
so particular.
We certainly were emharrasse!
when we got caught attemptini? to
sliD a piece of toast out of the dining-
hall so we could make some charcoal
sketches.
Remember when Joe “1 Don't
Need a Shave” Whitaker was sick?
Well, his frat brother Billy “I Don't
Need a Haircut—Much” Johnson was
worried so he went over to see Nurse
Juanita “Band-A.ide And Alcohol”
Perdue.
"Norsey” wanted to know if he had
eaten anything that might have upset
him.
"He ntc some chicken yesterday.”
i,aid "IDNAII-M” Johnson.
"Croquette?”
"No. but he's pretty sick."
NEW CLASS CUT REGULATIONS
GO INTO EFFECT AT SPRING
QUARTER
Dean Messick has Issued the fol
lowing statement relative to class
cuts for the spring quarter:
Class Absences.—Absences are
counted from the first meeting of
the class in the quarter. Those
who enter a course after the first
meeting of a class are reported as
absent from the previous meetings
of the class.
Cuts—(1) No Freshman is allowed
any class cuts his first quarter In
school. (2) Any student securing
an “P” on a course may not be per
mitted any class cuts the following
quarter. (3) A student making an
average of “D” In all work regis
tered for in a given quarter may
be allowed two cuts in each sub
ject the following quarter. (4) A
student making an average of "C”
on all courses registered for in a
given quarter may be allowed three
cuts in each subject the following
quarter. (5) A student making an
average of "B” on all courses reg
istered for in a given quarter may
be allowed five cuts in each sub
ject the following quarter. (6) A
student making all grades of “A” in
a given quarter may be allowed
unlimited cuts the following quar
ter. (7) Incomplete and conditional
grades are considered as grades of "F”
in regard to cuts for the following
quarter.
Call
C A. LEA
Phone 777
Bus and Taxi Service
777 For Quick, Dependable Taxi Service To and From
Burlinoton And Elsewhere
West Front Street
Burlington, N. C.
Trollingers
Buy Direct And Save
Members Florists Telegraph
Delivery
Best In Flowers
Burlington, N. C.
HEY
The Gang’s All Here
Eion Soda Shop
Hood Sporting Goods Co.
205 West Front St.
Burlington N. C.
SCHOOL SWEATERS AND JACKETS
TENNIS RACQUETS AND BALLS
TABLE TENNIS AND BADMINTON SETS
SOFTBALLS AND PLAYGROUND BALLS
GYM SHORTS AND BASKETBALL SHOES
FOOTBALLS
Special Prices to High School and College Students
Make Our Store Your Headquarters While In Burlington
T. N. BOONE
Tailor Fo Elon Students
SINCE 1914
StyU
Bur'ington
Quality
Economy
Now for some questions for the
musical intellects among the "poor
excuses for morons " who read this
stuff. There are three questions—
give yourself two cents for e.ich one
correct. If you make a perfect scorc
buy two "two-fers" and give us one.
Who wrote the following "tales”?
la) "Tales of Hoffman”
ibi "Tales from the Vienna Woods”
(c) "Tale of the Invisible City of
Kitezh."
There seems to he a little misun
derstanding regarding the generosity,
etc., of George Bullard after the fol
lowing incident:
Margaret: My, those hamburgers
from that stand smell good.
George: They do smell good. Let’s
move closer so you can get a better
smell.
We don't say that he is tight, but
he keeps five-dollar bills folded so
long Lincoln has ingrowing whiskers
We heard a fellow say the other
day that his grandfather lived to be
ninety and never used glasses. But
come to think of it. lots of people pre
fer to drink out of a bottle.
It couldn’t be that this column is
corny, but the Governor of Kentucky
has just informed us that we have
been made a Kentucky "Kernel."
This Week’s Invention:
A hollow piece of soap, so there
won't be any little pieces left over
after people have used it.
Did you see that visitor on the
campus yesterday? Well, that was
"Lifebuoy," Charles Boyer's brother.
Well, so long: we have to go check
up on the rumor that deaf and dumb
guys wear boxing gloves to bed so
they won't talk in their sleep.
Answers to Questions
(a) Jacques Offenbach.
(b) Johann Strauss, Jr.
(c) N. Rimsky-Korsakov.
DICK
durrance;
SKI TROOPS
say:
former Olympic ace who
trains the Army’s ski troopers
"SNOW BUNNY for beginner
"EGG BEATER" for head-over-
heels spill
GHOST SUIT" for white ca-
CAMELS
HAVE WHAT
THEY
mounage uniform
CAMEL" for the Army man’s
favorite cigarette
THROAT
jPfUST /M7H£ sefwree
With men in the Army, the Navy, the
Marine Corps, and the Coast Guard, the
favorite cigarette is Camel. (Based on
acmal sales records in Post Exchanges
and Canteens.)
TURKISH & DOMESTIC
BLEND ‘”
CIGARETTES
TheT-Zone
where cigarettes
are judged
//
The "T-ZONE"—Taste and Throat —is the proving
ground for cigarettes. Only your taste and throat can
decide which cigarette tastes best to you... and how it
affects your throat. For your taste and throat are abso
lutely individual to you. Based on the experience of
millions of smokers, we believe Camels will suit your
"T-ZONE" to a "T." Prove it for yourself!
B. J. RcTnoldiTobiccoCoillpui;. Wlo»tMi-8«lM», North CaroHlK