PAGE TWO
MAROON AND GOLD
j*pgr^w3!7rrw -
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 17. 1945
Maroon and Gold
Edited and printed at Elon College by students of
Journalism. Published bi-weekly during the college
year. 5
EDITORIAL STAFF
Mary Ellen McCants Editor
H. Reid Managing Editor
Martha McDaniel Associate Editor
Emerson Whatley Sports Editor
Edna Reitzel Associate Sports Editor
BUSINESS STAFF
Mary Coxe Business Manager
Ed Daniel Circulation Manager
Charles R. McClure Faculty Adviser
NEWS EDITORS
Nell Crenshaw
Elizabeth Benton
Thomas Horner
Ida Marie Parker
Ann Rader
SPORTS WRITERS
John Rossi
Bill McEntire
PRODUCTION STAFF
Charles Brown Linotype Operator
Dr. Merton French Staff Photographer
Entered as second-class matter November 10, 1936,
at the post office at Elon College, N. C., under the Act
of Congress, March 3, 1879.
REPReseNTBD FOR NATJONAU ADVBRTISINO *Y
National Advertising Service, Inc.
College Publishers Repi esentative
420 Madibon AVE. New York. N.Y.
CHICAGO * BOSTON • LOS ARGetBt * SAN FNANCISCC
Madame President
The sexes, it is true, have been in battle since the
time of Adam and Eve. For woman, with her rather
“Fm-the-boss-around-here” air, has swept man down
from his everlasting perch. Through long centuries
man believed himseH to be the possessor of an iron
hand—by which has household should be guided to
fulfill his every wish. However, when the Woman
Suffrage came into being (and we won’t say that
women didn’t suffer long before that) a few of the
weaker men began to realize the power of the fe
male 'most deadly of the species). So the women over
powered the opposition; and that, my readers, brings
us to a current issue—Women in Government.
Now most of us, we hope, are aware that during
the recent nation-wide elections, several women took
their places along with Bob Taft, Paul McNutt, Olin
Johnston, the present Cabot Lodge, and similar politi
cos. And if this sort of thing continues, do you know
what we’re going to have? Well, it’s simple: the dog
gone best looking Senate ever.
We do not base our judgment merely on physical
appearance, though it is only fair that we mention the
glamor of Helen Gahagan Douglas. We feel that wom
an’s emotions and sentiments will never be a draw
back, but will render her understanding in all matters.
For example, in the issue of the return of soldiers with
all possible speed; woman’s position in this will be sin
cere, from the heart. It is only natural that she fight
for a quick homecoming.
A lady, it is agreed, posses charm, dignity, and
tact. In public matters, are these qualities not essen
tial? A lady could tactfully order a man beheaded,
whereas a man would probably demand that it be
done brutally. Would a lady read a newspaper dur
ing a session ^of Congress? Certainly not. She would
cart her eyes on the speaker, display intense interest,
and with all this yet rememlaer a dinner in the oven
and little Ella’s birthday party. Women smart? You
can say that again, buddy.
But suppose ten or fifteen years from now women
shaU have become so prominent in government affairs
that a new political party is formed? The Ladycrats or
the Femblicans, for instance. A lady President (if
I’.D.R. doen*t run in 1952 or later). That, you may
say, would be Unconventional. But remember that our
recent Presidents have not exactly adhered to all the
old customs. We may have a few “Presidentesses”
here on campus now. Who knows?
As for the men, God bless them. We aren’t trying
to create the opinion that we’re prejudiced. No. No.
A thousand times no. We like men. What would we
do without them? But we thought this editorial might
be read by some of the more inteUgent Tarzans on
campus, and start an argument. Newspapers thrive on
controversy and when there isn’t a conflict handy, the
editor is advised to try and start something. Does
this do it, gentlemen?
A SOLDIER’S PRAYER
Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers
But to be fearless in facing them.
Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain,
But for the heart to conquer it.
Let me not look for allies in life’s battle-field,
But to my own strength and Thee.
Let me not crave in anxious fear to be saved.
But hope for the patience to win my freedom.
Grant me that I may not be a coward,
Feeling Your Mercy in my success alone;
But let me find the grasp of Your Hand in my failure.
Amen.
—Submitted by Captain Paul Plybon. Written by
one of his friends in the setrvice.
I
Casey Jones is on the right track. Who’s the
lucky girl, Casey?
How about Ruth and Don—ain’t that nice?
Marie and Shirley are only visiting Nita for the
sake of visiting Nita, as Graham doesn't have any par
ticular interest.
Doering Pender reports that they really teach
things over at Catawba. From evidence of some of
the letters she’s been getting from there, we’d agree.
Westmoreland says that he knows a northern girl
who lives in West and who likes to “study,” as he puts
it. He made no mention of what they study.
Someone in Ladies’ Hall was singing, “Billy,
Billy—at least he isn’t a Wolfe,” the other day. A
Shortie Story, complete in this paragraph.
Flo Chandler has a ring with a rock in it—obtained
SINCE Christmas.
The freshmen boys now enjoy “Quiet Evenings at
Home.” This is a departure from what has been
labelled “Quiet Evenings.” (But definitely NOT at
home).
Argenbright must not be so good at history. Seems
she couldn’t keep dates straight.
Lynn Reitzel has finally realized that there are
boys on campus. She’s currently meeting with the
Tidal Wave of Elon, namely, Hoi Toide Daniels.
Why doesn’t a Little guy date a woman around
here once in a bit?
At least Berry and Register don’t have to worry
about dirty sheets. They don't have beds half the tinlfe.
This puts them in the Red.
Junior Jenkins’ favorite musical organization, if
we have the liberty to call it that, is the Chuck Wagon
Gang.
“Brutal” Benton is up a tree, namely “Burch.”
Ermine Davis is going to trade her clarinet for a
Horner in the band.
Girls on third floor West prefer the Navy. There
are some in Ladies’ Hall in the same boat.
Helen Morris, of all people. Has currently been
complaining about a sad lack of man power in the
whereabouts of Ladies’ Hall. Naturally, she is referring
to the plight of the other residents of the dorm.
The members of Burlington High School have
been told how wonderful Sylvia Joseph is. She’s
been listening to the lines of the various representa
tives of that institution who have wandered on campus,
in addition to a few other things, lately.
■Virginia Ezell must have enjoyed that High Point
game. That was some night.
The basketball team was certainly given a backing
—what with all those cowlells, gongs, tin cans, with
the Reids, Frank Rogers, Leopopl, and a few others
on the business end.
Earl Danielly is a wolf! Beware of this intel
lectual in wolf’s garments.
diumoh
Given; 1 love you.
To prove: That you love me.
Proof:
1. I love you.
2. Therefore, I am a lover.
3. All the world loves a lover.
4. You are all the^orld to me.
5. Therefore, you love me.
—The Appalachian.
n 1
I DON’T WANT NO VALENTINE
I don’t want no valentine!
All this hearts and flowers stuff
Won’t melt any heart of mine.
It’s a bluff.
I didn’t want no chocolate bars!
Sweet teeth don’t belong to me.
Ain’t no romance in the stars.
Leave me be! ;
I don’t want no rose bouquet!
Save the nectar for the bees.
Smelly orchids, daisies, hay
Make me sneeze. ! . t;
I don’t want no . . . pardon nle!
My, that smoke you blow is mild!
Are those cigarettes I see?
Woo me, child!
Emily Crandell—Old Gold and Black
hij
The old Jewish merchant was on his deathbed so
his family gathered around to hear him utter his
last words. His eyes fluttered: “Is Momma here?”
“Yes, Poppa.”
“Is my daughter Rachel here?”
“Yes, Poppa.”
“Is my son Isaac here?”
“Yes, Poppa.” ' I
“Is my son Max here?”
“Yes, Poppa.”
All of a sudden the old Jew jumped straight up
out of bed and shouted, “Well, who then, may I ask,
is watching the shop. ,
REIP
THIS
\%
THE GREAT TRAGEDY OF ROMEO
AND JULIET
Science In The News
By H. William Thumbspeare Reid
A Condensed Version For Students
Long time ago, in the days when one could find
cigarettes, there was a big feud going on in Veerona,
the city of Verona, between the Montagues and the
Capulets, who were reckless mountain boys, and from
whom the Martins and McCoys have descended . . .
and they have carried on the warlike tradition.
Anyway, the Capulets lived in a well to do section
of town in a huge glittering palace that was built from
the plans that were used for North Dormitory. One
fine day, Mr. Capulet decided to have a big shin dig
with plenty to eat, even unto the fact that there would
be seconds on the ice cream. So he summoned all of
his new servants, the first year men, and instructed
them to raid the local dinerery. Same was did, in utmost
secrecy. 4-*vi
When the Capulets’ eatfest came off, naturally, the
Montagues were not invited. This made the aforesaid
very angry, not so much for the fact that they were un
invited, but because Capulet's men did such a good
job of “acquiring” stuff from the dinerery, that there
was none left for the Mantagues to make off with so
they could throw a spite feast.
Romeo Montague, however, was persuaded to go
to the party, incognito, disguised, unrecognizable, and
besides that with a mask on, for Rosevine McSquinch,
Metro-Goldwyn-Mare’s glamorous songstress, who bow
sings obligato with the Chuck Wagon Gang over Uncle
Henry’s Barn Dance program on WGBG, Greensboro,
every afternoon, was to be at the Capulet Capers.
And so Romeo invaded the Smith Theatrical-mask-
«ry, and slapped a Van Johnson model on his kisser, and
was off.
There were quite a few folks on hand at the ball,
Guy Lumbago and his Royal Italians were offering
strains for a ripping old square dance, and illugrubi-
city prevailed all around. Romeo immediately spotted
a well stacked little job, more pulchrituendous tian
Rosevine, and straightway they both fell in love. When
he removed his mask in order that he might catch a
little boodle outside in the garden. Montague, on
the inside, thought he heard a siren on the outside.
He knew that one of his most trusted older servants
was leaving the next morning for induction^ and he
thought at first it was only a few of his older boys
celebrating, and so he went out to investigate. He
found no siren, other than his daughter, Juliet—^but
he had heard Romeo’s wolf call, instead. Romeo was
amazed to find that the femme was Juliet, Juliet was
astounded that Romeo was Romeo, Mr. Capulet was
some kind of mad, and Romeo was bounced.
Not unlike a sad tomato, yea, a busted valentine,
Juliet retired to her balcony, and expounded on her
woes to the moon and stars. It so happened that
Romeo was Snip and Snooping underneath same, and
happened to over-hear. Here was where Juliet uttered
her famous, "Romeo, Ditto, where in the heck art
thou?” to which he replied, "I in the heck am hither,
and I ain’t just a-mendicatin’.”
There perchanced to be a wooden fire escape be
side said balcony, and Romeo ascended latter. The two
lovers resolved upon a rapid and secret marriage,
which transpired the very next morning.
Romeo was very happy about the whole deal,
until two friends of his saw him on the street. Be
cause of a basketball game and Romeo’s presence at
the Capulet’s affair, words ensued, and in course of the
struggle, the two guys got knocked off, and Romeo was
banished, leaving Juliet a sad sack of a bride to weep
over their one night stand.
Old Map Capulet tried to pass off another joker,
Paris by name, on Juliet, he beijig totally ignorant of
the secret nup^iffls.^Some female strategy stepped up,
and bashed Juliet’s brain a good broadside. “I shall
feign death,” quoth she, and she guzzled two P|psis
(hot ones) down in three gulps. That did the trick and
they prepared the hole six feet deep.
Tempus fugited all over the place. Romeo heard a
417 Club rumor that his babe had given the old oaken
one a good swift kick. He rushed to the morgue, and
there, low and be-holed, was his fair lover. Seeing a
few remaining drops of the liquid in the big, big bottle,
he gulped the aforeinscribed down, mixing it well with
a few hot dogs, which he happened to have stuffed in
his pocket, and which weer bought in Burlington. This,
too, did the trick, but good.
Juliet awoke along about this time, and saw that
Romeo was about to fall into the arms of rigor motris.
“Oh, no,” she wailed, “don’t leave me. I’m just dying
to be with you always.” As there was no more poison
ous material in the adjacent viciility, Juliet kissed
Romeo’s lips, still moist with droplets of death, and with
call me Hot Lips,” were Romeo’s lalt words, anH with
that, they both passed away.
The news had treemndous effect on the Montagues
and Capulets, and they cried in each other’s beer
awhile, and then went together to Elon, where they
lived ever after.
The past year has been a great one for science,
with many important discoveries in every field. "We
all hope they will help open the way to a better world.
Naturally the most important achievements in science
during 1944 were of a \Jartiftie nature and with the
war in mind, but perhaps all of them will find uses
during the peace v.hich is bound to come sometime.
The following has been selected as the big ten
of science for 1944: . t
1. Application of jet propulsion to aircraft.
2. Use of rocket bombs and large rockets in war
fare.
3. Successful use of DDT against carriers of ma
laria and typhus.
4. Use of them old chemical, penicillin, in the
treatment of a wide variety of diseases.
5. Conversion of softwoods to hardwoods with
chemicals. ■
6. The used of cilicone synhetics for waterproof
ing and insulation.
7. The splitting of human blood seven ways to
give albumen for shock, gamma globulin for measles
preevntive, fibrin foam and plastic for surgerly, fibrino
gen for use with thrombin in cementing skin grafts,
globulin for blood typing and red cells for wound heal
ing. ' I ■
8. Building an automatic mathematical calculator
for use in war and scientific research.
9. Use of ultraviolet light and tri-ethylene glycol
in air to reduce spread of disease germs.
7. The entry into the war of the world’s largest
bomber, the B-29 Supefortress.
The V-1 robot bomb is now being manuactured in
this counry as well as in Germany. From unexploded
buzz-bombs hurled across the English channel blue
prints were made and assembly line production has
been started. This short range robot is useful for
nuisance raids when weather conditions ground conven
tional, more accurate aircraft.
America’s first robot bombs are being put together
from engines manufcatured in Detroit and fuselages
made in Toledo, Ohio. They are finally assembled at
an undisclosed point and fuel and explosive are added
just before launching. The bomb has an aluminum nose
section, a steel warhead and a main structure of steel
tubing and “skin,” spot welded, mostly by women work
ers. It is 28 feet long and has a seventeen foot woing-
span.
The Germans have largely replaced the V-1 with
the longer range V-2 bomb, but perhaps we will steal
this weapon from the Germans also. In the few cases
where they do have something better that what we
are using, our policy is to find out about it and beat
them with their own weapons if necessary.
THOSE ENGLISH MAJORS!
j^kevintlowc
T] TO *43,"4
10®
^\35E0FDICTI0KMY
I
BEVIAS
Poet’s Comer
THIS CO-EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM OF LEARNING
A Elon, where the co-eds go
To cheer the boys and let them know
That girls not only pretty be
But learn their lesson too, ytfQ see.
At first their questions are so dumb;
The things they ask are always plumb
Irrevelant; you’d think that they
Will never catch on anyway.
But as the term rolls swiftly by
And the boy sits gazing at the sky,
The girls work oh; it surprises me
How intellectual they can be.
J. W. C.
“Come on, take a bath and get cleaned up. I’ll get
you a date.”
“Yeah, and then suppose you don’t get me the
date?”
Dean: “Who broke that chair in the Reception
Hall?
Girl. It just collapsed all of a sudden, but neither
of us was hurt.”
And as the sweet young co-ed said as she raised
her coke in a toast, “Here’s to the pictures on my
dresser. May they never meet.”
She sat on the bridge in the moonlight
And tickled his face with her toes.
For she was a lovely mosquito
And the bridge was the bridge of his nose.