PAGE TWO
MAROON AND GOLD
SATURDAY, MARCH 31, 1945
, Maroon and Gold
Edited and printed at Elon College by students of
Joiirnalisni. Published bi-weekly during the college
year.
EDITORIAL STAFF
Mary Ellen McCants Editor
H. Reid Managing Editor
Martha McDaniel Associate Editor
Kmerson Whatley Sports Editor
Edna Reitzel Associate. Sports Editor
BUSINESS STAFF
Mary Coxe Business Manager
Ed Danit.'l Circulation Manager
Charles R. McClure Faculty Adviser
NEWS EDITORS
Jjell Crenshaw
Elizabeth Benton
Thomas Horner
Ida Marie Parket
Ann Rader
John Rossi
SPORTS WRITERS
PRODUCTION STAFF
BiU McEntire
Charles Brown Linotype Operator
Dr. Merton, French Staff Photographer
Entered as second-class matter November 10, 1936,
at the post office at Elon College, N. C., under the Act
of Congress, March 3, 1879.
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W abbit-T wacks
Long columns of Hitler’s heavy transports are said
to be rolling into the Bavarian Alps. German prisoners
report that their officers are deserting them, leaving
but thin lines for rear guards. The surprising ease of
the Rhine crossings has brought the blackest hours
to the despairing populace of the Reich.
Will Adolf stay to face the music? We don’t think
so. He’ll make wabbit-twacks. The coward blood in
his veins wiU put him in the fore in this race to
escape. Few of the tyrant-kiUers of history have
shown the last ounce of courage that makes an honest
freeman stand.
Bill Meacham, writing this editorial over the
shoulder, says to add "Kwossin the Woad” to that
“Wabbit-Twacks” iij the title. Well, he may be “Kwoss
in de Alps to Berchtesgaden,” or he ma^tunnel under,
but what we mean is he better make “twacks.” The
Yanks are on his Ruhr.
As long as he had superior armament and man
power, little Adolf could beat the brass gong. In fact,
given his armies, any moron could have rolled over
the little countries he pillaged. But now is the day
of testing. It will show him up—or down—at about his
real size. We predict that he’ll crawl.
Letter To The Editor
Dear Editor:
Sometimes, just little problems come up that may
not seem like anything to most of us, but then again,
they can make or break friendships. Of course. I’m
not a person to criticize, for I am guilty of anything I
might say, but now that I happen to think about things,
I feel that I would like to share my thoughts.
Elon has fewer students now than it has ever had
before. Everyone knows this, and everyone also knows
that there is a greater percentage of women on campus
in ratio to the men than ever before. Yet, as strongly
as ever before, we want to keep Elon in the place where
she rightly belongs; and to give her what she deserves,
we must pull together. Lately, I’ve sensed somewhat
of a “back stabbing” going on about the place . . . not
really anger or bitterness on the part of students, but
maybe jealousy between certain dormitories or even
between groups. Some may say it’s only spirit, and
I'm not denying that spirit isn’t wonderful and there’s
no better spirit to be found than Elon spirit, but sec
tional hatred has never stood. There really is no
main issue which has caused me to make these few
comments. It’s just things like the Elon boys who
seem to be doing enough warring for the students out
there in the Philippines or over in Germany without
any verbal battles raging back here. I don’t know how
you feel about it, but as for my suggestion, I think we
should act our age. After all, some of these lively
spirits might come in pretty handy for the softball
season.
BETTY CO-ED
Theysitlikethisuponaseat
And now and then they kiss,
Then he says some darn fool thing.
And then they sit
Like This
God created woman after man and she has been
after him ever since.
There once was a maiden of Siam,
Who said to her lover, young Kiam,
“If you kiss me, of course
You’ll have to use force—
Goodness knows you’re stronger than I am.”
A whimsical professor, trying to emphasize a point
in logic, asked his class: If the United States is bound
ed on the east by the Atlantic Ocean, on the north by
Canada, and on the south by Mexico, how old am I’”
The brighter students sat dumbfounded, but the dopiest
of them all spoke up:
“You’d be 44:” Dumbfounded in turn, the pro
fessor said, “That’s right ,young man. But how in the
world did you know?” The student answered: “That’s
easy. I have a brother who is half nuts and he’s 22.”
When my brother Tommy
Sleeps with me
He sleeps
exactly
like
a
V
And because the bed is not so wide
Part of him is on my side.
A sail is offering peanuts to a soldier. Another
sailor standing nearby observes: “He always likes to
be nice to the army. After all, they’re our Allies just
the same as the British and the Chinese.”
la
The question has been raised as to whether Canady
is Dry, or not. Fred Chandler has something else brew
ing other than Erma.
There are a lot of girls taking sun baths these
days. H-nun. Sun worshipers at a Christian institu
tion, no less.
Mary Lib Simpson is goijig to get a truck. Not
for her own use, no . . . but to cart a bunch of Day
Students that cram themselves into her present
vehicle.
Wedding bells may ring for another Elon beUe—
Jan Wall. And rumor has it that there will be more.
It would be sad indeed, if Betty Sue Lloyd would
miss that ensign she has designs on. Looks like she
v/ould be in the same boat that she put Tommy Wolfe in
the past week end. That is a Short and sad story.
“Pieman, let me taste your wares.” Such were the
words of Eddie (Cassanova, Romeo, Mule, Handsome.
His Popeship, Ace, Flash, etc.,) Mulford the other
njght. Mary Coxe, the disher-out-of-stuff-in-the-book-
store was the subject. It is alleged that this was the
prelude to the Sarah Harris affair, which is now in full
swing.
Martha lays claim to have gone with the last male
president of the student body. What! Again?
Benton and Burch make a good looking pair—in
any medium—walking, bicycling, or most any other
way.
Lem Allen is trying to best Dr. Jekyll and Mr.
Hyde these days. Unless one i# two faced, it is hard to
put on a dual personality. Don Juan is being chaUenged.
Lib Holland is a fiend for French, or Frenchie as
the case may be.
ir- boys wer» able to make it over to the
High Point dance, and they report that they had an en
joyable time of it.
Verabrate went home, namely, Sanfokd, and after
becoming Sanfordized for the week end, is back at
The Institution. It was reported that she was suf-
ering from the plague, or some similar ailment, but
she, not unlike a cat, has nine lives, and has a good
ways to go, yet.
Ambiguity Rogers teed off and journeyed to Del-
way some few days last week. Delway has one ’37
Ford and one equally as ambiguous female to offer
among its many other atributes.
Frances St. Clair was honored by one Edward G
Greene with a telephone call a few nights ago
Another Arpngrinder was on campus last week
. . . Elinor s little sister.
h acquired a new name for
herself— Elbe Mae.” Do you know why or weren’t
you around Sunday night?
six girll; dating one
lad all at the same time this past week end.
CoUsufsi 9lumjDJi
A Scot was engaged in an argument with the con-
ductor as to whether the fare was 25 cents or 30 cents,
finally the disgusted conductor picked up the Scots
man s suitcase and tossed it off the train, just as they
passed over a bridge. It landed with a splash.
“Mon,” screamed Sandy, “isn’t it enough to try to
overcharge me. Now you try to drown my Uttle boy.”
THE STORY OF MOUNTAIN WILLIAM; OR
HILL BILLY’S ANCESTOR
Back in the good old days—say as far back as
when WRECK ON THE HIGHWAY was number one
on the hit parade—there was a little backwoods settle
ment known as Scroggsville, it, like every Uttle town
has its typical romances.
And its gossipers.
Scroggsville had both.
One day, when it was warm enough to stomp around
without being hampered by store-bough’n shoes. Will
McBoodle,the most sought after swain in Scroggsville
(all of the others were 18 and had greetings av.aiting),
was settled down by the village’s trysting place, namely,
the Burch Tree, with his rural runabout, who was
twelve, dark, and—well, you figure that out for your
self.
Most folks called her Daisy.
Will began his line, as they settled down cozily
beside a goodly lot of rose bushes. “Only the roses
v/ill hear. Only the roses will see, dear. Isn’t it
grevious, that the roses envy us? Etc., and so on,” Ob
viously, this procedure was sub-rosa.
But all is not well that is smooched well.
Will’s chick had a rich uncle, who didn’t approve
of the McBoodle clan.
Said uncle put in an untimely appearance.
Through the rose bushes.
"Shh,” Will’s babe wailed. “1 hear someone—why
it’s my uncle, my Uncle Carbunkle O’Cawnplastuh, on
my pappy’s side, and who doesn’t approve of the Mc-
Goodle clan.”
“Of that, I am aware,” moaned McBoodle.
Unk strolled up, and ejaculated, “You look fresh as
a daisy kissed by the dew.”
Will replied sternly, "That’s right. Her name’s
Daisy, but mine hain’t no Dew.”
Without waiting to give Uncle Carbunkle a chance
to say anything further, Daisy, who was a freshman at
Elon at that time, voiced an emphatic, “Oh, Unkie,
• terrible, tragical, and sublimely retributive will be the
course pursued by me if you refuse to allow Will to
place his alabastar lips to mine and enrapture me by
imprinting angelic sensations of divine bliss upon the
indespensable members of my physiognomy.”
“Does that mean supper’s ready?” queried Uncle
Carbunkle.
“Huh?” echoed Will
Not wishing to hurt their feelings, Daisy didn’t
explain, but led the three of them home to the most
delicious dinner—candied pigs’ tails, toasted tarnips,
and all of the fine sauces that go with them.
Carbunkle had forgotten all about his hate for the
McGoodles.
That is, until—
Will politely asked, “Daisy. I’d like another roll.
Please pass the dice. ,
Ah, yes. Life was intere'sting in the good old days.
It will never be like that again.
A SHORT SHORT STORY
By AL BURLINGAME
Roscoe Milkstop, a minor official in the McThug,
McSlug & Co., has aspirations of becoming its president
in place of his uncle. Chandler McThug. Learning
that McThug is in financial dificulties, Roscoe plans a
little coup. When Chandler goes to Florida on an im
portant business trip, Roscoe hires two escaped con
victs, Duke and Dike Feergo, to kidnap little ^ules
McThug and demand $50,000 ransom. Being in finan
cial trouble Chandler will have to ?ell his stocks in
his company to get the cash. With this kidnap money
Roscoe plans to buy up the stock and so control the
company under a ficticious name.
While Reddington, the detective, is tracking/ down
the crooks, McThug has been informed of the goings-on
by his confidential secertary, Snapp, and returns. Fear
ing he will be discovered. Milksop tries to kill McThug,
but fails. Howevel.-, McThug almost dies, and the blame
falls on Snapp who was found nearby. Reddington
proves that Snapp didn’t attack his employer. Pre
vious to this the detective has found the convicts’ hid
ing place . . . rescues Jules and his pretty nurse, and
during the rescue Dike kills his brother by mistake,
and with the aid of Ames and Firestone, Reddington
captures Dike. Reddington makes a trap for Milksop.
It works. Snapp, who was telling McThug’s story to
Reddington, was about to reveal Milksop, but got mur-
dred.
“Your son is a college grad isn’t he?” the strang
er asked.
“Yes,” confessed the honest farmer. “But in
justice to the college, I’ll have to admit that he didn’t
have any sense beforehand.”
Science In The News
By J. VV. CLAPP
Harry White, a noted scientist and lecturer, gave
:i demonstration lecture here on March 19. The stu
dents, faculty members and visitors present saw a
fascinating disnlay put on by a man who worked with
Edison and is "now with General Electric. He has a
scientific background which few, if any, ever equal.
In addition, he is an interesting lecturer, giving his ex
planations in simple terms that let even the average-
person get an idea of what it is all about.
The purpose of the recent demonstrat;on was to-
mystify those present with a display of electronic
marvels.
Mr. White first let us listen to what he said was
the sound of cosmic rays, which regularly strike the
earth. An amplifier produceda tapping noise every
time a cosmic ray struck. No one knows exactly what
a cosmic ray is, but their presence can be certified by
those who were present and “heard” them. The
same machine is also a detector for thp rays emanated
by radium. Different radium ores were demonstrat
ed to produce sounds in the machine, and finally nine-
thousand dollars worth of radium bromide contained
in a platinum needle was removed from its lead con
tainer several inches thick and placed near the de
tecting machine. The sound it produced was like hail
on a tin roof. It was demonstrated that lost radium
can be located by the machine. A container of radium
“planted” in the pocket of a member of the audience
was “found.”
Spectacularly beautiful lightning was prAfluced.
It not only looked powerful, but was able to light
Geisler tubes and fluorescent light tubes without even
the benefit of wiring. W. D. Little and Emerson What
ley provided an excellent conductor for one side of the
circuit while Mr. White had only to touch the other end
of the tubes to make them glow. The Bowden boys
got the thrill of their lives when each held a container
of lighter fluid while our wizzard lit it with his tongue
and his bare finger, respectively. The fellow “witb
another bald head” insisted that this lightning is harm
less, but proceeded to burn holes in one-inch planks
with it.
The lightning used in the experiment was a high
frequency radio current, produced by a high tension
transformed and a bank of condensers and built up
to over a million volts b/ a Tesla coil.
The demonstration was concluded by showing a
number of beautiful hand-painted designs under “black
ligfa.t” Fluorescent chemicals, when placed under
“black light” give very beautiful colors, ^which havd
a tone not possessed by any colors in natural daylight.
Anyone who thinks chemistry and art have nothing in
common should have been convinced by this display
that they have everything in common. Mr. White urged
everyone to take some science, because it is so import
ant to progress in any field.
Poet’s Corner
HOGO MEMORY
An old Rock Island ‘‘manifest” was rollin’ down
the track,
Achuggin’ out of Memphis with a load upon her
back;
Awindin’ past the levees and the Arkansas bayous,
Ablowin’ cinder fireflies out among the Dixie dews"
As the muddy Mississippi bent the steamboats"
ridin’ lights.
The red caboose kept winkin’ like a chorus girl
in tights;
And th’ hobo’s itchin” heel heard th’.clickin’ of
th’ song
When her siren whistle lifted th’ red-ball come-
along.
So he shook his lazy figure from asettin’ on his tail
And he caught the jumpin’ rattler on the west
bound rail.
Well, she rambled into Stuttgart without blowin’
for the stop
With the laureate of hobos ridin’ gently on the
fa
Ridin’ gently on the top
And dreamin’ - -
Gentlemen - -
On this wise:
Professor (taking up exam papers)—“Why the quo
tation around all your answers?”
Student (being belatedly honest)—“Courtesy to
the fellow on my left.”
There was a man in Stratford on the Avon long ago
Who’d have bargained with th’ devil for to teU
about this show
Rollin’ like the bubbles of th’ river’s overflow.
The song of hill and prairie in the good old U.S.A.
The mighty land the river drains from the west to.
Iowa,
All the way to Loozianne and the delta on th’ bay;
Hub-leep in democracy she stands
Welcoming the ventures of her many hands
Guilding freedom like a castle
For the poor of many lands.
She came coastin’ into Stuttgart,
Rumblin’ lazy in her vitals.
Spoutin’ smoke-rings at the trees;
And she gently made the stop
Right beside a handsome cop
With his night stick twirlin’
And his moustache curlin’
Brightly
In the evS^iing breeze. ^
The cop look d up to see the stranger
Ridin’ gently 6n the top.
“Land O’ Freedom,” sighed the hobo,
As he hit the dirt abouncin,’
Can t you ever quit romancin,’
Long enough to out-run sorrow?”