Newspapers / Elon University Student Newspaper / April 1, 1947, edition 1 / Page 3
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TUESDAY, APRIL 1, 1947 MAROON AND GOLD MAKE SELLARS YOUR MEETING PLACE Sedars ^aA.SELLAR8 & \HfiJ BURLINGTON, N. C. Phone 473 - 474 - "Gef St At Acme" - Burlington OPPOSITE MAY MEMORIAL LIBRARY €; HI m Jii X Compliments Of ELON SODA SHOP zxH ~~>a { FLOWERS BURLINGTON’S LEADING MAIN STREET BURLINGTON, N, C. TROLLINGER’S Florist Contest! Contoot? Sure You Con! How To Win A Blonde For TKe Editor, Who Needzone: Damit The last word in the headline is in German. And the sweet picture, ah! | That is the Robinson Crusoe of the Pacific, or the Atlantic, or Lake Woppee—penokee—alas-alas. Calling the Waves. You have seen him. No ioolin, you have. He’s been on Elon campus all year. The question is, mot “Whodunit?" but “Whoizzit?” He Is a delightful acquaintance, even though it is probable that before he •was lost at sea and grew the thatch ‘that he sailed on—^back to the U. S. A.—he ate the bosun’s mate and the two admirals who w'ere last | •seen on a raft with him some where! «ast of Oahu (Yep. Four degrees west, of the Virgin Islands, or as they say | in the army, the Twin Peaks). The GOLDEN MORON is offering a prize for the first blonde to iden tify him. He has no birthmarks and does not use talcum on his tootsies. His feet, we suggest, are the best means of identification, since he never wore store shoes before going 'into the Navy, and the Navy forgot to issue him any. It is true that the feet do not appear in our pickshur, ■but you will recognize them anyhow. They had no odor, than which (the Virginia “which”) there is no more dazzling means of identification known to modern psycho-analythics or the F. B. I. I forgot to mention the prize. We will give absolutely free, one ounce bottled) of bonded snake-pizen, plus a bottle-opener, to the first blonde who calls him by name while cares sing (kissing, that is) him. Or we will, on second thought, give the prize to the editor. Or. on third thought, we’ll just give the editor the blonde. A1 is the editor. Burlin game,, that is. He needs a blonde, M anybody does. And there’s no duni sense in running a raffle if you can’t win it yourself. Or so he says. BOOK REVIEW tiC IX SC OiK IF YOU WANT TO EAT DROP BY YOUR College Bookstore Hospitality in your hands REC. U.S; PAT. OFF. at home BOTTLED UNDER AUTHORITY OF THE COCA-COLA COMPANY BY BURLINGTON COCA-COLA BOTTLING COMPANY Science In The News Personalities KILROY WAS HERE Oay Student Sketch'Book “GONE WITH THE WIND” We would have reviewed this, but since it’s “Gone With the Wind”, will have to go look for it first. eat at the ELON GRILL STEAKS — HAMBURGEES gAVnWTCHES There can be no doubt that this weeks personality is really the most outstanding and the getting-around est character on campus. No matter where you go or when you go, Kilroy has been there before you. Getting an inter\iew with him (her or it) is next to impossible. In fact, the most outstanding thing about Kilroy’s character is his elu siveness. Everywhere you go you see signs of Kilroy—in the dining hall, in the girls’ dorms, in the boys’ dorms, in the library, in the la-well everywhere. In fact it is rumored that one person climbed to the flag pole atop the Ala mance Building and arrived trium phantly there only to find a note ‘ Kilroy was here,” and another dived to the bottom of Elon’s Kiker Lake to find scribbled in the mud “Kilroy was here” (probably used one of those under-water pens). Truly a B.T.O., Kilroy claims title to every campus office and honor in school from the honor role to the football team. If you don’t believe it watch the notices of newly elected officers, club meetings, and so forth posted on the bulletin boards and within fifteen minutes Kilroy’s name appears on these lists. In spite of all the honors Kilroy is just one of gang. !A-idence? Well, Kibroy Is written on jvery party and petition list drawn up and even Senate probation lists Kilroy. Not to discredit Kilroy’s rep but rumor has it that his pastimes include stealing the flavor from the chewing gum left on the bed posts overnight .leaving lip-stick on unsus pecting male faces, and of course throwing water bags (Water Bom bardier, First Class.) Not much is known of Kilroy’s past but it is thought that he (or is it she?) was a war baby closely related -to Yehuid and' the Little Man Who Wasn’t There. As for now, Bob Furr says that Kilroy is majoring in re ligion because from some of the places he has been he needs reli gion. His ambition for the future seems to be to get a-head. Kilroy dislikes nothing, but likes include the book “Gone With the Wind;” the songs “I Ain’t Got No body,” and “After You’ve Gone;” the foods, peanut soup, banana slip, and apple sauce; and dancing in the d^rlc Now who wrote this? KILROY, no doubt! Bjr STILL BAFFORD Fellows who have been having trouble getting a pretty Windsor knot in their ties can stop worrying: Earl Danieley, Elon’s mad scientist, has invented a machine which will knot your tie for you. First, you buy a neckie; then put it around your neck and stick your neck in Earl's ma chine. After thirty or forty minutes, if you haven’t been strangled to death, you should have a pretty good knot. Calvin Walker plans to sell the machines at the Elon Grill for a reasonable sum. It will be guaran teed not to strangle more than one out of every three users. * * « * Students w.ho have been getting lew marks will be interested in the great development of surgery which occurred at Puke University Medical School recently. A method has been perfected by which an old, worn-out brain can be replaced with a new 1947 streamlined model. Of course, old ones will have to be traded in. * * • * A new method for obtaining elec tricity is from the electricity in a per son’s hair. Duke Power Company’s research department found a way by which they can harness the power of the electricity from human hair. They are urging everyone to let his hair grow down to his j ankles, so there will be an ample supply of power. No cheaper means for ob taining electricity is know. It’s sliocking, to say the least. (Remember, anything following which might be a true statement is strictly accidental!) This is just the chance I’ve been waiting for—to write some of the things I've often thought would work out very well and some of the ^hings I could never imagine happening Gus Muskenfuss. the great com poser, has written a new song called “White Easter,” dedicated to the weather expected Easter Sunday. Nick Galanis is worried sick about the new Easter bonnet he plans to wear, but that's all right, Nick—I’il roses and a dainty veil look simply divine sprinkled with snow. Emery Gilliam is off women for life. Doris wants him to play the role of a dignified man, and he wants to keep right on being “Joe College.” Keep trying, you two, and maybe you'll get together some day. Pat Hook, the largest girl on the campus, just loves teaching typing at Broad Street High School She has decided to make it her life pro fession. Personally, I don’t think she is the type. Julius Holt has been arriving at school at 7:00 evert da^. so has re solved to get another hour’s sleep each morning So what if he is late t-j class? Have you noticed how gloomy Edith has looked since Dave came back to school? She lost her position as executive vice-president of Floyd Boyce’s “Lonely Heart Club ” If anyone is interested in applying for this position, see Floyd immediate ly: he says the ‘’Club” is still existing. Kathy Young has decided to spend the summer in school instead of going back to Alabama. There is no one there she cares about seeing, and she gets more pleasure out of the 8 o’clock ‘‘scrap” wi'th Joe Gol- ombek in art class than she could ever get wasting all her time wilE Ken. Besides, she doesn’t like Ala bama at all. Here’s one to make you perk up your ears and take notice “Peep-Eye” and Jimmy have quit dating—each other, I mean Why don't some of you foolish girls get on the ball in a hurry? You don't find two guys like that standing around loose ev erywhere. 'Thank goodness!) Cornish was on" campus one day last week. Why doesn't he come back more often? “I’ll tell you why —every time he comes around here he sees me; he can’t stand the shock). Hal and Burch are going to declare a “no date” quarter, because Clegg and Benton have kept them up too late and caused them to miss their beauty sleep—especially Hal. Norma Jean Edwards is opening a shop to sell little bubble-blowing sets. Gaynell will be her manager, be cause it'l take a bubbling personal ity to promote sales. Have yau heard about Don Ker- nodle's changing his major subject to voice, because Baker doesn’t like the way he serenades her over at East? Well, that’s ifti for now, although, you probably could read this won derful column all day long and not get tired of it. I’m sorry, but I must go Good-bye. I hate you all. DALE. PROFESSOR G. A. JOHNSON .-VNNOUNCES COURSE IN THE OXFORD MANNER Professor G. A. Johnson. Elon’s noted' authority on authorities and probably the most popular versatile educator in all the Eastern (and Western) fronts of learning, today an nounced that during the summer quarter he will conduct a course in Morphologic Desuetude. Notable feature of the course is that it will be conducted in the Oxford manner. Anyone who has observed Profes sor Johnson floating smoothly along, in fair weather or foul, with that supremely undisturbed aplomb and savoir faire (to know (how) to do) (translation for the benefit of the illiterate minority), will at once grant that he is superbly, perhaps even supremely, qualified to inculcate the Oxford manner. Our editors, puzzled by the title of the course, hurt one another in their rush to the battered copy of “Noawebster” which adorns the equally battered desk in the editorial room of the M. & G. “Noa” left them still in a state of strain and com plete bewilderment. (The rest of the staff does not consider this to be an unusual condition for the editors, however.) “Noa” says “Desuetude” means “cessation of use”.or “state of dis use.” We are undecided whether this is expected to apply to the course, the Oxford manner, the instructor, or the class. Certainly sounds like a good summer crip, though, and we know a couple of guys who will sign up. - ? I I i i I I i Betty Lou Shop i i $ $ BURLiNGTON, N. C. ELON DRY CLEANtRS IF WE PLEASE YOU TELL OTHERS IF WE DONT TELL US. GLAMOR "We Have o Complete Line of Ladies' Ready-To-Wear Apparel" Burlinsfon, N. C.
Elon University Student Newspaper
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April 1, 1947, edition 1
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