PAGE TWO
MAROON AND GOLD
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 4, 1949
Maroon and Gold
Edited and printed by students of Elon
College. Published bi-weekly during the
college year, under the auspices of the
Board of Publication.
Entered as second class matter at the
Post Office at Elon College, N. C., under
the act of March 8, 1879. Delivered by
mail, $1.50 the college year, $.50 the
quarter.
EDITORIAL BOARD
Managing Editor Bob Wright
Campus Editor Jackie Gaskins
Feature Editor Frances Newton
Sports Editor Rocco Sileo
Assistant Sports Editor George Stanley
Staff Photographer Harvey Foushee
BUSINESS BOARD
Business Manager Evelyn Moore
Circulation Manager Martha Veazey
Advisor Hoyle S. Bruton
Printer B. G. Frick
Makeup Man Gray Hackney
Floor Manager John Broughton
Press Man James L. Lewis
Typist Faye Cline
COLUMNISTS
Faye Brancli - Robert Rubinate
Betsy Melson
REPORTERS
Sam Jenkins, William C. Ivey, Rosamond
Bromley, Doris White, Howard Hodnett,
ean Pittman, Verona Danieley.
MPMSKNTEO FOR NATIONAL AOVUTtSINO 9t
National Advertising Service, Inc.
College Publishert Repi eiefttative
420 Madison Ave. New York. N. Y«
CMICACO • BOSTOII • Los AMOKLXt * Sah FRANCISCC
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 4, 1949
Member
Intercollegiate Press
GREETINGS
The new semester has delivered the
Maroon and Gold into the tender mercies
of new editorial hands. Avoiding any ref
erences to the obvious pun concerning the
figurative or literal filling of a large pair
oi shoes, we simply state that we will do
our utmost to maintain the present cali
ber of your paper.
We approach this task with full knowl
edge of its importance, and pledge our
selves to carry and mtaintain the journa
listic torch tossed to us by our predeces
sor.
It is inevitable that everyone will not
accept the entire content of forthcoming
issues with complete agreement. This is
as it should be. If we may be permitted
to close on a flippant note, may we say
that if you like what you read, we
wrote it; if you don’t like it, we found it.
—B. W.
THE CHAPEL PROBLEM
Last week a solution to the perplexing
problem of chapel attendance was revealed
to ithe administration. Many methods
have been used to insure speakers' having
full attendance; we have had a very intri
cate system of chapel checking, plus an
ever-present threat of loss of quality points
waved as incentives for chapel attendance.
Neither of these has proved very success
ful, for the students of Elon refuse to be
‘'bull-dogged” into anything. Then, to
the rescue came Dr. Potter, per request
of Dr. Smith and Dr. Reynolds and as a
conference speaker for the convention
meeting here. Regardless of the circum
stances which brought Dr. Potter, we are
indebted to him for giving us an opportun
ity to show the administration liow stu
dents will react to an accomplished speak
er.—J. G.
EDITOR’S NOTE'
Concerning Letters to the Editor
We do not wish to discourage letters to
the editor, but we will have to insist that
future letters be limited to 150 words.
In the past we have had to omit long
letters in oredr to give space to others
and have been forced to cut columns to
make room.
We believe that an idea well stated is
one briefly stated. This policy of brevity
will allow us to print more letters and
give an outlet to more points of view.
Thick V Thin ...
By FAY BRANCH and
BETSY MELSON
Hello, you rude, crude, and unattrac
tive Elon students. Wonder what dirt
you have created so far this semester.
We’re on the loose to get the low-down.
So if you want to get your name in this
column, you'll have to do no less than
commit' murder. First we’ll strike home
(and we do mean home plate) with all the
cats and kittens that have been “at it
again.”
Jasper (cat) Moody and his W.C. kitten
liave a table reserved at the Casablanca
these days. But the sad part is that after
such a nice evening she goes home and
cries. Wliy for yo’ so mean, Jasper,
honey?
Our Virginia gentleman, Buford (he’s
been doing it all night) Andrews, has
graced Ladies’ Hall with his presence.
Couldn’t be that new High Point kitten,
could it?
The newest riddle is which would you
prefer, a tobacco leaf or a telephone pole.
Tell us, “Asa” Ainslee. Which is it?
To Geraldine and Gaynelle, who never
fuss, we’d like to dedicate the old famili
ar “Fussing, Feuding, and Fighting.”
Seems like “Watermelon Cook” and his
“Sunberry Flash” are hitting it off hot
and heavy these days. Suppose we just
call them “Bill and Coo.”
Almost as bad as the battle of the bulges
is the one going on between John Ira
Weldon and William Herbert Askew over
Coles Spivey. May the best cat win.
Wonder what lawyer drew up the doc
ument that Aileen signed to promise her
self for better and for worse to Lacy Gane.
Can’t wiggle out of that one, Tempie. He’ll
sue for breach of promise.
As the couple of the week we give our
tribute to “Shorty Poythress” and “Hair
less Meredith.”
We now have a moment of silence for
the two hep cats (they think) of North
Dorm, Rhett (sarcastic) Butler and Red
(Scarlett) Satterfield.
Flash! Hot off the grill (and we do
mean the Elon Grill.) We want to see
all you rib-ticklers and be-boppers drag
ging yo’ ole beat up torsos around tlie
gym floor for a struggle. Come on, gang,
let’s make this one a real occasion. Witli
the Elon hep-cats and Jimmy Perkins’ or
chestra how can we miss for the greatest
Fresshman - Sophomore reception ever
given?
We hate to leave, but the presses aie
hot and the typewriter is tired; we must
close, BUT. We leave you with the
thought of the week. If you can’t smell it,
or eat it, leave it alone. It’s from the fa
mous Elon cafeteria.
These are your two dirt diggers signing
off but don’t fret, ’cause we ll return with
more dirt and lead news come next issue.
Try and bear with us pleas&, ’cause we’re
together through . . .
Thick ’n’ Thin
Fay and Betsy.
M and G Quiz
1 Who won the Horace Heidt
talent contest last Saturday?
2. What name will be given to
the week of Feb. 9-16 at Elon?
3. Who are the new co-manag
ers of the book store?
4. How many corpses are there
in “Arsenic and Old Lace?”
5. Who is Elon’s top basket
ball scorer?
6. What course is now requir
ed for deficient grammarians?
7. What faculty member began
a radio series last Sunday?
8. Wlio are the new M&G edi
tors?
9. How many new post office
boxes will be installed?
10. Who leads in the intramu
ral scoring race?
now listen ...
By ROBERT RUBINATE
Labor raises honest sweat.
Leisure puts you into debt.
Labor keeps you fit and prime.
But give me leisure every time.
—Bersohn.
Floyd Benton off to Florida and the
sunnier south.
The Elon Players will present as their
next production, “Arsenic and Old Lace.”
I'or a belly-full of laughs, see it.
Ask Lucas to tell you his latest on gas-
tronomical examinations.
Familiar faces at the end of a long line
cf men in Gibsonville one Tuesday night.
No less aggravated by the poor decis
ions of the referees in the Lenoir-Rhyne
game than most of us was President Smith.
He immediately called the No Smoking
sign to their attention that night and was
most effective in doing so.
or Gee Gee Parks found herself in an
embarrassing position the other day while
broadcasting “Jane Eyre” from the WBBB
studios. She spoke half of her opening
speech to a dead mike.
Funny thing about that broadcast. No
one knows where that horse went to after
it stumbled.
The wreck of the Hesperus re-lived in
East, Friday night, last.
Gradually, the faces that many of us
were so fond of begin to fade into Mem
ory’s Hall. Many have achieved a just
fate, but we cannot help feeling a touch
of sentiment. Still others have gone and
we did not feel that they were treated
fairly. Nor were they alone in receiving
r:iisiepresented grades. And when we stop
to think out why there should be such dis
sension, we find that the answer is ever
present. We don't wish our case to be a
criterion, but when people find that they
have a common hurt, then it's time they
get together to do something about it in
stead of whispering in corners. Then the
question arises: Do we have a Student
Government? And if so. Where Is It?
Robert “Chips” Chabalko, golf mahat
ma of Elon, is digging up cadavers for a
golf team.
Speaking about Chips, if you recall, he
turned up after the Thanksgiving break
with a crew cut. Ken Jacobs, now at
East after his stay in the hospital with
pneumonia, wandered into the Chabalko-
Harris stall and was aghast at seeing Cha
balko with a torn-up towel wrapped
around his head and tied in a bow und^:
liis chin. “I’m training my hair,” blushed
Ciiips. With that Jacobs wet one finger
and ran it over his eyebrow. “Oh,” he
said and wiggled out of the room.
FLASH: Bill Ivey’s cow, Nellie, gives
birth to bull. .
The Colonnades, Elon’s own magazine,
is soon to make its appearance. Rather
than make this sound like another plea,
we shall merely say that the publication
is crying for your talents, Elonites.
This Is The Inside Story
Getting out a newspaper is no picnic.
If we print jokes, people say we are silly.
If we don’t, they say we are too serious.
If we stick to the office all day, we ought
to be out hunting material. If we go out
and try to hustle, we ought to be on the
job in the office. If we don’t print con
tributions, we don’t appreciate genius; if
we do print them, the paper is full of
junk.
If we edit the other fellow’s write-up,
we’re too critical; if we don’t, we’re asleep.
If we clip things from other newspapers,
we re too lazy to write them ourselves.
If we don’t we’re stuck on our own stuff.
Now, likely as not some guy will say we
swiped this from some other newspaper.
We did.
(From the Mars Hill Hilltop, who swiped
it from the George Wasliington University
Hatchet, who swiped it from the Miami
U. Hurricane, who swiped it from the U.
of Houston Cougar, who swiped it from
the Daily Texan, who swiped it from the
SMU Campus, who swiped it from the
A&F Battalion, who probably swiped it
from someone else.)
Student Pens
FincJ Outlet
On Campus
The Maroon and Gold “feature
section,” which to the staff, at
least, means the three narrow col
umns on the right of this page,
is taken up this issue with creat
ive efforts of certain students.
Robert Rubinate is responsible
for the “eureka” cartoon, and
Alvin Pate penned the “pony”
gag.
We are not at liberty to reveal
the real name of the “Bill Bear”
who wrote the short story on tliis
page.
Since the only publication outlet
for campus creative artists is “Col
onnades,” which appears only once
each year. Maroon and Gold con
siders it a privilege to offer space
to budding artists, cartoonists and
writers of fiction not too long for
inclusion in its columns.
L
EUREKA ... I’M A MOTHER!”
The Devil And Daniel Diddit
A Vignette . . .
... by Bill Bear
Not too long ago a sophomore
named Daniel Diddit attended
tliis fine institution of Elon Col
lege. Exactly one week before the
final exams this young man came
to the horrible realization that
he was about to fail in three of
his five subjects.
It chanced to pass that Satan
was in Elon at the same moment
that Daniel, in desperation,
thought, ‘If I could only pass the
finals, I would surrender my soul
to the Devil himself!”
Now Satan is not one to lose
an opportunity to acquire a mor
tal’s soul. Accordingly, he held
a conference with Daniel, in Pro
fessor Danieley’s chemistry lab
(since it smelled strongly of sul
phur and brimstone) and togeth
er they signed a contract in blood
which declared: “On this day of
January 24, 1929, let it be known
that upon graduation day Mephi-
stopheles shall come into the pos
session of the soul of Daniel Did
dit. In exchange for said soul,
arrangements will be made for
the latter to achieve an ‘A’ aver
age upon graduation.”
The Elon facutly was astonished
by the sudden change in the
grades Daniel began receiving, i
Special oral and written tests
were given to him to judge wheth
er the marks were the result of
cheating, but they only proved the
validity of his record.
The junior year passed rapidly
and toward the end of the senior
year, despite his ‘A’ average, Dan
iel found himself growing uncom
fortable as his pact with Mephis-
topheles approached its date of
expiration. G)raduation IcKmcid
in the near future and then—it
arrived!
TIDBITS
The old fashioned girl who
blushed when she was ashamed
now has a daughter who's ashamed
when she blushes.
The height of laziness: the col
lege boy who is too lazy to write
home for money.
“So your son had to leave col
lege on account of poor eyesight?”
“Yes, he mistook the dean of
women for a co-ed.
Before the discovery of Amer
ica, the earth was thought to be
flat.
Columbus proved that it was
round.
More recently, the evidence has
shown that it is crooked.
A violent storm raged outside.
Daniel’s ‘A’ average brought hint
no tremendous feeling of glory-
There was an emptiness in his;
stomach for he was at the head of;
the class— Satan had done his;
part, now he must do his. He
walked fearfully toward the chem
istry laboratory to complete the
bargain . . .
During the entire day, students
complained about the obnoxious
odor of sulphur and brimstone
which pervaded the halls, unaware
that one of their fellow Elonites
was on bended knee before an al
ien presence. With tears in his-
eyes, Daniel begged for his soul-
But the Devil laughed in a most
unpleasant manner and slowly-
walked towards the gibbering boy-
Somehow the school managed:
to keep the unusual circumstanc
es surrounding Daniel’s disappear
ance quiet and pretty soon folks,
forgot all about him . .
Except that it often storms vio
lently on graduation "(lay; and
when that happens the halls be
gin to smell of sulphur and brim
stone. An eerie and unnatural
silence falls upon Elon—a strange
chill is in the air.
t EXAMS TODAY