Newspapers / The Guilfordian (Greensboro, N.C.) / March 21, 1928, edition 1 / Page 3
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Page Two THE GUILFORDIAN Published weekly by the Zatasian, Henry Clay, and Pliilomathean Literary Societies. Editorial Staff Edited and composed by a few past, present and future members of the staff. Care has been taken to leave out enough of the conservative members so that if those higher up should show their appreciation of our genius by ele vating us (via the drop-kick route) to positions in the cold, cruel world, there will still remain a few valiant souls to put out a nice, sweet, colorless, con servative Guilfordian for the rest of the year. Business Staff As usual, they are not responsible, for they refuse to be their brothers' keep ers, though the Business Manager re luctantly admits that he will dispose of the extra copies of this odious sheet at the rate of 5c each or 3 for a dime. Address all communications to THE GUILFORDIAN, Guilford College, N. C. Subscription price $1.50 per year Entered at the post office in Guilford College, N. C., as second class mail matter. If Ed Moore has to pass Botany before becoming a doctor he will never learn to take off bandages! THE YELLOW FEVER heartily ap proves of the action taken by the faculty in alloting Director Noah a special period for his announce ments. It will give him ample op portunity to impress us with the dignity of his profession. It is odd how those who cease to toil for their daily bread become elevated. We understand Walter Robertson has joined the house of peers, formerly composed of Till Hurner, Alice Hazard, Grott. Iloyle and 11. R. 11. Noah. We tender our sincere sympathy to the table wait ers for the great loss they have sus tained. The Yellow Fever In the spring a young editor's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of YELLOW FEVER. We say yellow be cause yellow is the color of sup pressed desires. This issue will serve as an exhaust for the readers as well as the editors. We hope the public will be quick to appreci ate our genius and comprehend our effort to get all the "gripe" out of our system at one time. We realize that we have deviated from the path of rectitude in the past hut we have reformed and promise to be good children in the future and never, never think of adversely ing a dead literary society a po litical organization, etc. We will never, never thing of adversely criticising the perfect, harmonious, ever-helpful Girls' Student Govern ment Association and we will henceforth support the efforts of our social liberators in their efforts for bigger and better tea-cups. In other words, we will sugar coat everything and compliment everybody, and if by chance a tur moil arises we will not even notice it, let alone write about it. We nominate as a fit candidate for Morganton any individual or group of individuals who believe anytihng printed herein or take any of this long-suppressed news seriously. But if the shoe fits, buy the pair! Smith for President! The faculty action, unanimously upholding the candidacy of A 1 Smith for president, has the com plete, unqualified, whole-hearted approval of this paper. lie is the embodiment of all the priceless ideals in which we "live and move and have our being." A 1 Smith is a man acquainted with grief and he has a wide, toler ant sympathy that commends itself to all good, righteous Quakers. Ilis stand on race relationships is es pecially commendable, as he be lieves every negro should enjoy the priceless heritage of liberty, just so long as said liberty doesn't over step what Senator Overman be lieves is essentially the rights and privileges of the white race alone— such as the right to vote and live in civilized countries. We contend that Governor Smith is the ideal man for president because he doesn't believe in the slogan, "Peace at any price," but is will ing to spill a little blood for the preservation of the nation. Like wise, he does not favor allowing every wop and other Tom, Dick and Harry to enter our fair land and have citizenship conferred upon them. The stand he takes on the 18th Amendment also endears him to the hearts of all loyal Guilfordians. Remember his famous words, "I'd like to get where I could put my foot on the rail and blow off the foam!" Finally, we support him because he is a red-blooded, nail-twisting, glass-eating American, and we are glad to have our faculty concur in our opinion. Guilford Did Not Burn * the Heretic Sometime ago, The Greensboro Daily News carried a news article telling of a certain Guilford Col lege Student who risked going to jail rather than miss classes. We are re-printing herewith the re marks made by our friend, Dave Carol, of the Tar Heel. Dave ex presses our sentiments better than we could ourselves. "Requested to attend a session of court, a Guilford College stu dent refused to absent himself from classes, even at the risk of •going to jail. The Greensboro Daily News said so. "Occasionally the Tar Heel pub lishes statements printed in other papers, but does not vouch for the truth of the news. This is such an instance. "However, it would be useless to ask some Guilfordian to verify the report. In fact, perhaps this odd young man who dares to seek an education has already been lynched by an outraged campus of 'col legiates.' "He would have been strung and quartered here. "But if our Quaker friends, with 'SHSV THE GUILFORDIAN a kindness which we could not mus ter, have declined to burn the here tic, he should he saved for poster ity. University officials would be delighted to offer him free tuition for attendance here. And if he is an athlete, somebody might give him tuition, board, and spending money for taking in our tennis nets at night. "It's not our fault. If the Greensboro paper had only report ed that a college student went to jail in preference to attending classes, the associate editor wouldn't be saucer-eyed a-tall. But we'll tell you, men, when a modern college youth refuses to miss his classes in spite of a yawn ing calaboose, there's either a nig ger in the wood-pile or a lady in the class-room." —f- OPEN FORUM MORGANTON DUPLICATED Fellow-students, a grave question has come up for our consideration. Is this famed institution for the dissemination of knowledge to become the standard of imbecility and the criterion of insan ity? The affair referred to has been hushed up with the utmost secrecy, but TRUTH WILL OUT! A few days ago, Viola Garner, a solid, substantial student, who had here tofore been considered one who pos sessed more than the atom of percep tion that an ordinary student should have, protested to Dr. Kressin, head of the Romance Language department, that she had been given entirely too much work to be done, that she had been whipped down to a nub by the in ordinate demands placed upon her colossal intellect, and entreated, impor tuned, yea! IMPLORED him, to pare down his excessive requirements. Upon the refusal of said professor to do as she requested, we next have the pic ture of Miss Garner turning to satisfy ing thoughts of sweet retaliation, and embittered by the wrath of revenge, cunningly contriving the diabolical murder of the powerful Dr. Kressin. She cast herself in the role of the just executioner, plunging her poniard into the malignant heart of the professor, and thereby ridding the world of an ! \ I FLOWERS | Sykes Florists, Inc. j TOMMY HADLEY f College Representative | I WINSTON-SALEM, N. C. ! I Graduates! | Let us serve you after gradua- j | tion. Let us make you a loan, j | build your home, and insure j j your happiness. Come toETjj i your happiness. j Come in to see vs. I Southern Real ! Estate Co* j 304: N. Elm St, j GREENSBORO, N. C. inhuman monster. She was only pre vented from carrying out this fiendish scheme by the slick sleuthing of Mr. Hill Turner, who, although he is mod est about it, is a detective worthy of rank alongside of Sherlock Holmes and. Hawkshaw. As a result, Miss Garner is now being examined by a number of famous alien ists and Padded Cell No. 13 is being prepared for her. But the important point is this: shall this institution of brotherly love and sisterly affection be made a safe harbor for flinty, hardened criminals? Fellow-students, rise up in the glory of young manhood and wom anhood, and in justifiable wrath, smite down this deadly, deteriorating influ ence that has reared its repulsove head in our\midst! Sincerely yours, LOY HIM SELF. CRUTCHFIELD PLUMBING COMPANY GREENSBORO, N. C. Tell Them You're from Guilford JOS. J. STONE & CO. Printers, Engravers Binders Office Equipment and Supplies Greensboro, N. C. Trade With Our Advertisers :: a QUALITY JEWELERS" GREENSBORO, N. C. • =u Tell Them You're from Guilford GREENSBORO HARDWARE GO. Hardware OUR STORE WELCOMES YOU 221 S. Elm Street Greensboro, N. C. GUILFORD LUMBER MFG. COMPANY GUILFORD I*7OOD OOD RR ORK Since 1884 Greensboro, North Carolina Trade With Our Advertisers I In the College Manner! Vanstory assortments are selected with the idea of pleasing the college man. Styles that young men want are found in the new lines of suits, top coats and accessories that are shown in such great variety. Vanstory prices are one of the attractions that appeal to college men. \/jan4loru Ohiis //v?t c Knight. Pres and ftgn Jefferson Standard Bldg. March 21, 1928 Puts-Sores Relieved by anti -4% septic properties eM va=s * PARKE'S SODA and SANDWICH SHOP Trade With Our Advertisers When in High Point STOP AT RANDALL'S •, ...3 Back Those Who Back Us See us for DIAMONDS, WATCHES and JEWELRY SASLOW'S JEWELRY CO. 306 S. Elm St. Opposite National Theater 10 Per Cent Reduction to College Boy> and Girls Prompt Service on All Repairing * WALTON'S SHOE SHOP 112 W. Sycamore Greensboro, N. C. College Representative, Walter Brown PHONE 3185 4. POWELL'S WALK-OVER SHOP i SHOES and HOSIERY 216 S. Elm Street Hi) Greensboro, .C. jf. j 808 GRIFFIN, College Representative J~ GIFT SHOP ] '/EST JS9O PHONE 63a Iwl if/ ft 206 S. 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The Guilfordian (Greensboro, N.C.)
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March 21, 1928, edition 1
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