Page Two
THE GUILFORDIAN
Published semi-monthly by the
Students of Guilford College.
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North Carolina Collegiate Press |
Association
STAFF
Dorothy Wolff Editor-in-Chief
Pearle Kimrey Managing Editor
Ira Cholerton Sports Editor
Johnny Williams Ass't. Sports Ed.
Frank Allen Feature Editor
George Greene Associate Editor
Edith Cooke Associate Editor
Miss Era N. Lasley Alumni Editor
Mary E. Pittman Ass't Alumni Ed.
Miss Dorothy Gilbert Faculty Adviser
Philip W. Furnas Faculty Adviser
REPORTERS
Sarah Davis Erwin Werner
Bera Brown Priscilla White
Emla Wray Julia Plummer
George Parker Sanira Smith
Clara B. Welch Maud Hollowell
BUSINESS STAFF
Morgan Raiford Business Manager
Robert Jamieson Ass't. Bus. Mgr.
Dan Silber Advertising Mgr.
Lewis Abel Advertising Mgr.
Margaret Warner Proof Reader
Carl Jones Circulation Mgr.
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Massey Tonge Ass't Circulation Mgr.
Mary B. Buchanan Secretary
Elizabeth Parker Secretary
Duance McCracken Faculty Adviser
Address all communications to THE
GUILFORDIAN, Guilford College,
N. C.
Subscription price $1.50 per year
Entered at the post office in Guil
ford College, N ,C., as second-class
mail matter.
COMMENTS
A review of Dr. Duane McCrack
en's book, "Strike Injunctions in the
New South" is on file in the library
and a few minutes could not be better
spent than in reading this discussion
of a book written by the head of our
Economics Department.
Keys have been proposed as awards
for work on the Dramatic Council.
The idea seems to be placing a
standard of achievement in extra
curricula activities that is worth
working for. The keys would be sym
bols of goals, desired and won; they
would mean that many off-class
hours had been spent in enthusiastic
creative labor; and, most of all, they
would mean that hard work had been
recognized and appreciated.
Just a word of gratitude for the
enthusiasm and cooperation in giv
ing the football banquet.
The Student Affairs Board, and
those students who were so eager
for the opportunity of a social meet
ing filled with the genial spirit of
fellowship—as the banquet was—are
especially grateful to the faculty
members who worked so faithfully
and made the banquet possible.
And the very best of wishes for
your vacation!
/ \
Fordham-McDuffie Drug Co.
229 S. Elm St. Greensboro
Prescription Specialists
Roger McDuffie - J. N. Eubanks
Owners
V
r, ——
326—Phones—327
Stratford-Weatherly Drug
COMPANY
Jefferson Standard Bldg.
Greensboro, N. C.
"We Always Sell the Best"
— v .
WHEN IN NEED OF
Pens, Pencils, Diaries, Stationery,
Books, Kodak Albums, Greeting
Cards, Loose-Leaf Books, Memory
books
VISIT—
Wills Book & Stationery Co.
Greensboro, N. C.
QUAKER-QUIPS
Remember the day the boa eon
stricter was about to get "Popeye?"
Well, we know two of the boys who
tried to get in town at midnight to
buy next day's paper because they
were so anxious to know how he
made out.
* * *
No doubt most of you have heard
about these 6,000 word History 111
'erm papers. One of the boys walked
in the room of a friend and said
"Well, I have my Bibliography done."
His friend turned to him and said,
"I didn't know you were taking Re
ligion!"
* *
Something ought to be done about
the fact that the Senior Class has to
resort to "Drop the Handkerchief"
on a Sunday afternoon for recrea
tion.
We know of one person on the
campus who is saving all his pennies
for a marriage license. The girl in
the case is doing likewise.
* *
About half of the choir journeyed
to Greensboro the past week to hear
a well known University Glee Club.
The young men were doing their best
(which wasn't so much) with a piece
called "The Question." As the strains
of attempted harmony grated on our
ears one of the listeners turned to us
and said, "The Question: Where's
the pitch?"
+ * *
About three weeks ago one of the
boys pulled the one about the only
man making money in these days is
the manufacturer of red ink. We
were all set to give him credit for it
in the column when they had to go
and pull it in the show at the Cai-o
--i lina last week.
* * *
The "Stadium" is going in for
Camelot—a cross between Chess and
Checkers.
We advise the G. C. boys to Stop,
Look, and Smell before accepting a
ride into town with autoists here
after.
* * *
Some of the boys say the coach
hasn't been sleeping well lately. And
its not because of his cold!
* * *
Upon arrival Sunday, Sarah Gus
struck up the tune "Happy Days Are
Here Again"—emphasis on the
"Hap."
* * *
We know one Yankee all you South
erners like Santa Claus!—(and
there ain't no Santa Claus.)
LOVE LYRICS
So we found all this po'try tied up
with pink ribbons, and we give the
first installment:
Mary had a little ram—
The kind that makes tough mutton;
And although Mary tried some cures,
The ram was fond of buttin'.
It butted here, it butted there,
It butted Parson Smithers.
That kind old man turned right
around
And kicked it in the withers.
Quite a mess to the little ram
The good old parson told,
And most of it was hot enough
To make old Hades cold.
The parson said so humpty much
He ran all out of breath,
And told poor Mary, "That d— ram
Will cause somebody's death!"
Two days later the ram had a scrap.
It didn't work so hot;
All that was left 'twixt the ram and
a car
Was the car—and a greasy spot.
THE GUILFORDIAN
OPEN FORUM
If there is any one thing which is
encouraging, it is the feeling that
when help is needed, it will be given
freely and willingly. We needed help
in putting on the Football Banquet,
and it was volunteered with a whole
heartedness which was astounding,
as well as admirable. As it would take
a larger army of words than I could
muster to tell of our appreciation to
those persons who gave their services
for the banquet, we can simply say
we thank you, students and faculty.
—Eleanor G. Bangs,
Pres. Student Affairs Board.
About two months ago the whole
campus was talking Peace. Where is
all the enthusiasm now ? It seems
that all the subscription money has
gone to fill up other holes.
Was this flash of enthusiasm mere
ly monetary. At each meeting of the
International Relations Club there
has been a few present. What hap
pened to the others? Aren't Guilford
students capable of carrying out any
thing ?
For awhile everyone wanted Peace
and a voice in world affairs. The
way to have a voice is to talk it up,
and incidentially "money talks."
—Julia Plummer.
Christmas Shopping Soliloquy
O, that this too, too solid crowd would
melt,
Thaw, and resolve itself away,
Or that Santa Claus had not fixed
His custom for giving gifts.
How weary, tired, and worn
Seems to me all this crowd.
Step on 't, Step on 't, its the early
bird
That gets the worm. That it should
come to this;
Christmas two weeks away. Nay not
so much as two!
So excellent a bargain is there; so
nice a gift.
O, that I had resolved it sooner.
Heaven and Earth!
Must I remember this aching corn
As if my foot has larger grown
Let me not think on it.
How all this crowd does push against
me
Making my head to ache.
Would I had met my dearest foe in
Heaven
Before I saw this day.
Something is wrong in the city of
Greensboro!
Angels and ministers of grace defend
me!
Step off my toe; don't push my hat.
Howsoever strange and odd I hear
myself
I am not kept from being trampled
on.
Good bargains will go
Tho' I push o'er all this crowd to
reach them.
Each person doth tread upon anoth
er's heels
And set a blister there.
I'll have more room; the car is the
thing
Now I am alone; 0' what tired weary
Soul am I ? Is it not monstrous
Do your Christmas shopping early
i or else
i You'll find your gifts are poor
And your thoughts unkind.
With due and sincere apologies to
Shakespeare. —Julia Plummer.
REWARD
As a result of three years of good
behavior, the senior women have the
privileges of leaving the campus dur
ing the day without permission—ie,
they may go to the city! They may
also have extended social engage
ments without permission—by sign
ing in a little book—and next year's
leap year too!
Freshmen, you now have some
thing to look forward to—privileges!
Sam Boose was a campus visitor
last Sunday.
Philip Thomas, from Miami, Flor
ida, is renewing acquaintances at
Guilford College.
MR. PANCOAST CROWNED
CAMPUS POET LAUREATE
These lines are dedicated to the
Varsity Football Squad by Professor
J. Milner Pancost, ardent champion
of every man on the whole squad.
* * *
Come What May
When Frankie Allen begins to shout,
And then to scamper all about,
Let one and all join in and say,
We'll help our team to win the day.
♦ * *
When Elons team, the Quakers meet,
The Home-Coming crowd's due a
treat,
For the Friends are out this glorious
day
To make a riot of this affray.
* ♦
When Wellons grasps that oval pill,
Some Guilford grads are due a thrill;
For thru that line his head he'll bore
And a Quaker touchdown he will
score.
* * *
When the ball is passed to Jimmie
Bunn,
Then Elon's bunch'll be on the run,
For round the end, he'll swiftly sail
With Christian tacklers on his trail.
* * *
When our fightin' Bass gives the sig
nal clear
For Jersey Bob to pass the sphere,
He'll give it one terrific swirl,
Which'll captivate one Guilford girl.
♦ *
As the ball sails high in the skies
above
: On the earth below is our Johnnie
I Love
He'll roam the field both far and wide
And clasp the orb on its earthward
glide.
* *
Oh Captain dear, we beg of thee,
To travel onward in thy glee,
And plant that pig-skin neatly o'er
The Christian goal for another score.
When Captain Williams tries to buck
our line,
He's surely in for a hectic time;
He might just as well prepare for
hell
As to try to run thru "Hap" Pur
nell.
* * *
As "Reddie" starts his line of chat
ter,
Then Elon's nerve he's bound to shat
ter,
For when it comes to spreading gore
Our Mears can do it—ever more.
# *
Our big Bill Sichol, he surely can now
At least three tacklers in a row.
We may say, Old Elon, wher'er he
goes,
Please bear in mind—don't slap his
nose!
* *
There is a rat, Rudy, who continually
croons,
Singing all sorts of unearthly tunes
But the Rudy who makes the ladies
fall
Is the Rudy who snaps the fat foot
ball.
* # *
There is every minute some little one
born,
Who wriggles and giggles this earth
to adorn,
But there never was an end who
came here by birth
That can begin to compare to Elvin
Haworth.
* * *
When Wilkie's whiskers, three in a
row,
Started to sprout and then to grow
Then Elon's chances were not worth
a nickel
When these young whiskers began to
tickle.
* * *
When Tip, Tip Chisholm comes trip
uing around,
Sprinting nimbly, o'er the dusty
ground
Then we will hear a wild ahoy
For the love of Mike; do stop that
boy!
* *
We have many scrubs both small and
great,
Moaning and groaning in the old
North State,
But of all the scrubs, from the bench
to the showers,
December 16, 1931
Christopher Morley explains the
purpose of his new book, "John Mis
tletoe," as follows: "Just as in a
Quaker meeting one is .supposed to
stand and deliver when he feels some
'concern,' so Mistletoe feels, and has
long felt, a concern to explore the
memories of thirty years or so and
say, This was beautiful; this has a
meaning." Mistletoe "hankers to set
down some hard-won inflexions from
his own grammar of surprise." Only
Morley and the Omniscient know who
John Mistletoe is, and neither of
these has ever seen a similar auto
biography. Some apology for our par
tiality to biography may be neces
sary, but Napoleon, you know, was a
great reader of biography, and the
Old Testament has been called the
Who's Who of ancient Palestine.
Someone has called this a gallup
tious book. Whatever the word means,
that is it; and Morley, without doubt,
is a galluptious person. At one time
or another he has been a lecturer,
colyumist," publisher's reader, man
ager of a theatrical company, and
actor. His writings include essays,
reviews, novels, short stories, plays,
and poetry. Once under a pseudonym
he mailed Shakespeare's sonnets to a
publishing house who rejected them
as not up to the usual literary stand
ard of the company. Though he in
sists that he is not a systematic
reader, he has read everything, from
Mayne Reid to De Quincey, from
Tom Jones," read at Haverford with
"delightful, scandalized tremors," to
"Casuals of the Sea," about which he
was so enthusiastic that on the birth
of a son his friends sent a telegram:
"Congratulations—name him Cas
uals." He knows several hundred liv
ing literary men, although the Index
lists even more who are dead and
gone. He is familiar with every phase
of publishing—a galluptious person,
clearly.
One could not point to any passage
in the book and declare it charac
teristic. Morley's style varies from
that of a personal letter or diary,
through the much abused "standard,"
to the exact word-and-phrase usage
characteristic of Flaubert, but it is
always appropriate, always fitted to
his purpose. It is the sort of writing
that makes one feel like throwing up
his job and trampling on his type
writer.
The book should be read slowly,
every word carefully weighed, every
page reluctantly turned. One lays it
aside vowing to read it again when
he has more time, even if he knows
he will never have it. It is a unique
autobiography and a book irresistible
to those smitten by that rare but
deadly microbe, bacillus bibliophilus.
There never were scrubs so effective
as ours.
* * *
When the game is o'er, and the sun
sinks low
And the night comes on with an even
ing glow,
And the moon and stars mount in
the skies
To my son John" goes the season's
prize.
*
When the thrilling game is finally
over
And we ve all read our healthy score
Let's one and all give a mighty yell,
And bid Old Elon—Well! Well! Well!
—Wimer Pancoast.
Merry Christmas
FKINT SHOP
I QUALITY PRINTERS 1