November 23, 1932
** QUAKER SPORTS **
Eastern Carolina Teachers
Throw Scare Into Quakers
VISITORS STRONG
Guilford Manages to Eke Out
79 to 0 Win Over Their
Down State Rivals.
G. C. SCORES BUT 12 TIMES
Coach Anderson Disgusted With Way
Hla Team Fails to Click After
All His Coaching.
(Special.to Yellow Fever)
By JOE BLOW
On Saturday, November 12, the East
ern Carolina Teachers arrived on the
Guilford campua prepared to play foot
ball. Unheralded and unsung came
they in their bright red bus. About
the same time that they disembarked,
several carloads of visiting ministerial
students, here for a conference, un
loaded and all was confusion while the
football men were being separated
from the preachers.
Finally they were corraled, fed and
put to bed to rest before the battle
(mother). The time dragged on lead
ened feet. (Trite —Editor.) (Nertz —
J. B.) However, the fatal hour finally
arrived. The Guilford Team secretly
watched the Teachers trot out on the
field, "My Gawd I Purple jerseys," one
of the Quakers exclaimed. "Jeez, High
Point wore purple shirts and we only
heat theni 45-0," another gasped. And
then the whole Guilford squad wailed,
"Oh, how terrible."
However, the stadium (Ha! Hal—
Editor.) was jammed with dozens and
dozens (two) spectators who had brav
ed the frosty fingers of (Careful —Edi-
tor.) the icy wind. They must meet
this savage bunch of invaders on the
field of battle. Manager Flup grabbed
the water bucket, waved a blanket in
the air, shouted "Excelsior," and dash
ed onto the field followed by the tim
orous Quakers. The fans (Both doz
ens!— Editor.) cheered them lustfully.
(You mean lustily, you sap. —Editor.)
(Say, wise guy, look in the dictionary.
Lustfully mean in a lustful manner.
Lustful means sensual, robust. Robust
also means lusty and lustily means in
a lusty manner. So there! —J. B.)
(Okay, Okay, smarty. The fans cheer
ed them lustfully.—Editor.)
The rival teams dashed around the
field arguing over the ownership of the
various footballs. The officials decided
to start the game to prevent bloodshed.
The referee blew his whißtle, Ed Shaen
who was asleep on the bench thought
it was an alarm clock and started to
curse softly about 8 o'clocks. And
speaking of 8 o'clocks, there is one
professor on the hill who gets just as
sore if you go to sleep on his 8 o'clock.
The old meany. He must think he's
(Stick to your subject.—Editor.) (Yes
sir.—J. B.) Anyway you should have
heard those things Ed said. I wish I
could tell you, but I can't do it here.
They weren't so circumspect. (All
right, Mr. Editor. Circumspect means
prudent, prudent means discreet, and
discreet means practically wise. And
they weren't so much of the latter be
cause a faculty member heard him. —
J. B.)
Lets see, where were we? Oh yeah,
the whistle blew. The referee tossed
the ball in the air. E.C.T.C.'s Center
got the jump on Jamieson and topped
the ball to his left forward. (Have you
gone haywire f That couldn't have
happened. Rudisell is our center and
not Jamieson. Jmnieson is center on
the basketball team and besides you
don't have left forwards on a football
team, and the ball is kicked off and
not tossed up by the referee, you igno
ramus. —Editor.) (Sorry, just got my
stories mixed. You know I'm a volum
inous writer. —J. B.)
Well, after the ball was kicked off
Anonymously •
During inspection last Saturday night
a pertain young lady received a cake
of soap as a souvenir from a certain
center in Old North along with the
declaration that sometime he might
want a date.
Does the professor Suit-herf I should
say he feeds her sugar coated nerts.
The morning: after the election hard
ly enough Republicans could be found
to serve as pall-bearers at Mr. Hoover's
funereal—very odd considering how
early they went to bed on the night
before.
According to a certain history pro
feasor this idea of the leap-year week
end is a boon to womankind.
Popularity receives a boost. The
mighty invention of Alexander Bell
transmits from Cupid's bow a message
of affection to a cute little end on the
Guilord All-Star team. Beware, woman
hater.
We hear that the Book Store is now
featuring a brand new, guaranteed-to
cure remedy for insomnia—college
test-books.
Believe it or not—we have a non
partisan organization on the campus.
The Dramatic Council picks their OWN
for the cast. How nice. We imagine
this play will be masterly portrayal of
realistic romanticism.
We understand that our six-year man
is in a critical condition. During the
past two months he has developed fal
len arches while waiting over-time on
that first table in the dining room. Stu
dents, an investigation should be held.
The gentleman is suffering.
When questioned by a certain mem
ber of our faculty concerning the rea
son for his matrimonial vows during
the past summer, the tow-headed gen
tleman from Jersey replied, "Au, Miss
Blush).
(and I think that's an awful way to
treat it right in front of all those peo
ple.—J. B.) Guilford did manage to
score a few times. About 12 I think
it was. I'm not quite sure. I was so
busy slapping mosquitoes and explain
ing things to that nitwit coed who in
sisted on asking foolish questions such
as, "Are you married, Mr. Blowf" etc.
After it was ail over I asked the ref
eree, or maybe it was the umpire (any
way he had on white knickers.—J. B.)
who had won and he said he thought
Guilford had, though he wasn't sure,
which goes to show that if all football
officials were laid end to end wouldn't
it bo wonderful!
The Whole Town Is
TALKING
About Pollock's $3 Shoes
POLLOCK'S
10J S. Elm St.
The Advocate
Printing House
"The Friendly Print Shop"
Specializing in
COLLEGE PRINTING and
PUBLISHING
429 West Gaston Street
THE GUILFORDIAN
FRESHMAN FROLIC IS
HELD ON ARMISTICE DAY
On the night of November 11th, the
Freshman Class held its Annual Fresh
man Hop. The huge gymnasium was
gaily bedecked with many-colored bal
loons and streamers, which swayed rap
turously on the gentle breezes cast by
a hundred electric fans suspended
from the distant vault of the ceiling.
The walls were draped with huge felt
banners of Southern Colleges and with
banners bearing the insignia of the
several fraternities and sororities on
the campus. Huge potted palms filled
the comers and beckoned enticingly
to tired couples who might want to sit
out a dance or two enfolded in the
shielding spread of their protecting
leaves.
The large, smoothly waxed floor
easily accommodated the several hun
dred couples. No lights of the ordi
nary sort were present, though spot
lights, blue, green, red, yellow and
orange played upon the dancers below
as they wove their way about the floor
in intricate steps.
A more beautiful sight lias never
been witnessed 011 the campus of our
beloved institution. It was inspiring
to watch couples dance dreamily about,
cheek to cheek, arms holding each
other tight, as if afraid the spell would
end.
Even the chaperones were affected.
Those hard-hearted faculty members
seemed to break down under the aes
thetic thrill of the evening. One pro
fessor was seen to reach over and
squeee his wife's hand when the orches
tra started to play "Isn't It Roman
tic." Soon after, another professor
was caught tapping his foot and snap
ping his fingers to the tune of "Under
neath the Harlem Moon." Then, when
the band started to get hot to the one
and only "St. I.ouis Blues," the last
thread of resistance was broken and,
led by Dr. Binford with Miss Gainey
and Mr. Pancoast with Mrs. Levering,
the entire faculty galloped about the
floor in the wildest shag ever seen in
Carolina, the original shag state.
From then on the affair lost its ro
mantic appeal. Hey! Hey! was the
order and everyone whooped it up.
Waltz's were barred by the adminis
tration. Nothing but hot tunes fol
lowed. The entire assembly let loose
and proceeded to dance themselves into
a state of exhaustion. Around about
4:30 a. ra. no one was left on their
feet but Wes Raleigh with Laura and
George Hardin with Helen Stilson. They
agreed to call it a tie. The drummer,
who was all that was left in the orches
tra able to make a noise, begged to be
excused and toppled over to join his
fellows in a dead faint.
And thus ended the most gala social
affair of the season at Guilford. Long
will it be remembered.
Collegiate Clothes
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SASLOW'S
214 S. Elm Street
Our Optical Departm-cnt
DR. WAKEFIELD IN CHARGE
Coach Pancoast Announces
An All-Star Legging Team
Football Banquet
Come on, all of you bench-warmers,
let's give our football team the big
hand! We'll show the boys how we're
backing them and that we appreciate
what they've done and what they're
going to do—for Thursday is the big
day; then we battle Elon in the annual
gridiron clash. I say "Beat Elon" and
everybody will be satisfied!
Saturday night all of you folks are
going to fight for honors for Guilford
College just what we—as members of
the cheering squad and loyal student
body—think of them. Everyone who
was in school here last year remembers
what a big success the banquet was
then, and if you're a freshman just ask
any upperclassmen and they'll tell you
that football banquets are the thing!
Besides hearing a number of good
speeches and getting plenty of food,
there is an atmosphere of friendliness,
happiness and school spirit that isn't
found in every school. Faculty, gradu
ates and former students join with the
present students in honoring Coach
Anderson and his 1932 football team.
Remember Howard Milner's "Twenty
six Reasons Why 1 Am the All-Ameri
can Bench-Warmer?" It was clever and
proved to be very entertaining. This is
only an example of the good speeches
made at the banquet last year—and
there are surprises in store for you at
this approaching banquet! I could give
you a little hint concerning the pro
gram—but no, I won't—you'll find out
soon enough—and I promise you—it's
good. This is one of the biggest events
of the year—you say that you're com
ing? Fine —I'll see you Saturday night.
MR. IKSAY EXPOSES
YELLOW FEVER EVILS
(Continued from Page One)
named especially the Ouilfordian yel
low sheet, and made a truly amusing
joke about an editor that would print
a paper like this and his daughter.
Two days later Mr. Iksay was taken
to the High Point Hospital with a load
on his He is safely past the cri
sis and in a week or two will be as
good as new. All readers of The Ouil
fordian, however, arc earnestly entreat
ed not to show him this last issue, for
fear of a dangerous relapse.
CRITERION
THEATRE
Special Thanksgiving Show
Thursday-Friday
This is made for laugh pur
poses only.
"Stepping Sisters"
They bad a skeleton in their
closet—bill made no bones
about it.
Saturday Only
Monte Blue
in
"The Stoker"
Romance in the wide open
spares.
Mon.-Tues.. Nov. 28-29
Mystery in a bouse of horror.
Terror in a Night
of Death
"THE MONSTER
WALKS"
Even Greater Than
"FRANKENSTEIN"
Don't Miss the
"GUILTY
GENERATION"
On Wednesday, Nov. 30
Always the Best Short Subjects
Page Three
NOAH, ASSISTANT
"Leg O'" Hid die Is Captain and
End With Pris White Which
Is Strong Combination.
BEACHUM, HARDIN, BACKS
G. Mears and Conrad Ab Hefty Guards,
With Edgerton at Center and
Bowen at Quarter.
The tension that has been quite
noticeable 011 the campus the last few
days was dispersed when Coach Pan
coast, All-America, Swathmore, 'Ol, and
Assistant Coach Noah announced their
choice of members of the All-Guilford
Legging Team. No one can doubt their
choosing ability as a glance at their en
viable records in the Catalog will show.
Coach Pancoast for several brilliant sea
sons with the Swathmore Legging team,
achieved such fame that he was deluged
with innumerable offers from other
schools. Consequently he starred bril
liantly at the Universities of Pennsyl
vania, Cornell, Chicago, and Wisconsin.
Following this he came to Guilford to
coach and impart the subtle finnesse
necessary for an outstanding team.
When Max ~ Noah arrived to put
"rythm in our elbows," Coach Pancoast
immediately employed him as his assist
ant. This' has never been regretted for
our tireless assitant coach devoted so
much time to the team that it become
necessary for him to have a special
period in chapel to make his announce
ments so that they would not interfere
with his coaching.
The following is the coaching staff's
selections and the reasons for their
choices: "Duei to the wealth of material
we have been able to select a team that
we believe is second to none."
"Leg o' " Biddle RE
Margaret Pegram RT
Jewell Conrad RG
Bill Edgerton C
Gertrude Mears LG
Gladys Bryan LT
Pris. 'White LE
Jesse Bowen QB
Marie Beachum RH
"Georgie" Hardin LH
"One Lung(?)" Mears FB
The consistency and co-operation of
the ends is well-known. Biddle has
(Continued on Page Four)
Today, Thursday, Friday
November 2a, 24, 25
Special Thanksgiving
Program
ON THE STAGE
Don Lanning
in
HIS MTUTII AND MELODY
IDEA
BEAUTIFUL GIRLS
NEW .TOTS
ON THE SCREEN
Joe E. Brown
in
"YOU SAID A
MOUTHFUL"
Special
MIDNIGHT SHOW
TONIGHT, NOV. 2.1
"Prosperity"
MARIE
DRESSLER
POLLY
MORAN
ALSO SELECTED SHORTS