Page Four
The Dormitories
Reports of increasing dissatisfaction
among the men's student body has
caused an unofficial investigation to be
made of conditions said to be prevail
ing in the dormitories.
In front was a closed door; behind it
the life of the dormitory proceeded
upon its even or uneven tenor. The
door opened upon a short, gloomy hall;
a cloud of flies arose, disturbed by the
opening of the door, and at the same
time there came the mingled odors of
decaying garbage, trash and other
smells of humanity. Inside the thresh
old of the dormitory was seen a num
ber of closed doors set in recesses of
the none-too-clean walls. On one side
of the hall a stairs led up into gaping
regions above. Occupying a prominent
place in the scene was an open refuse
can about which the more minute forms
of the life of the dormitory swarmed.
From this center of attraction camp
noxious odors interspersed with varied
buzzings as groups of small ( flyers took
off and zoomed about in the foul at
mosphere, ever to return to the sides
and interior of the garbage can.
One of the doors opened; the con
tents of several wasteliaskets and the
sweepings of a floor were deposited
with a swoosh In the open receptacle.
Again the air was black with vermin.
Then was a general exodus from the
vicinity of the trash-can, to the room
on which the door opened. The door
closed, and as the room was well
screened, the pests were effectively im
prisoned with nothing to feed upon but
furniture, clothing, tooth-brushes and
drinking-glasses. At least, the air in
the hall was somewhat cleaner; indeed,
an effective method of improving condi
tions in the halls.
Shortly afterwards a member of the
administration was observed to be wan
dering about the halls nasally inquir
ing as to how the students were liv
ing and making note of extra light
bulbs to be surreptitiously removed dur
ing the absence of the students. After
turning off lights in different roms and
speaking a few words of economic wis
dom to the occupants of several of the
hovels, this person heroically plunged
out into the germ-infested atmosphere
of the hall and gained the entrance to
the dormitory and clean air.
Perhaps it is because the swinging
doors of a closed refuse can might re
mind the students of other swinging
doors and necesitate they're being ad
monished to "Keep away from liem tliar
swingin' dors" that causes the policy of
the higher-ups to have us live under
conditions which the County Health au
thorities might possibly object to—
probably just another example of the
good ole benevolent attitude.
-
Please Pardon Us
They laughed when I sat down at the
piano.
Yes?
The stool wasn't there.
_ --~f-
Manners
Never break your bread or roll in
your soup.
Young America Speaks
. Teacher—How many days has each
month ?
Johnny—Thirty days has September,
all the rest I can't remember. The cal
endar hangs there 011 the wall. Why
bother me with this at all?
GREENSBORO
HARDWARE CO.
i Our Store Welcomes You J
221 S. Elm St.
GREENSBORO, X. C.
1 . --j
EATS DRINKS
Wayside Inn
We'll Gladly Serve You Waffles
Tuesday—lf You I'ay l T s Today
CANDY ICE CREAM
COACH PANCOAST ANNOUNCES
AN ALL-STAR LEGGING TEAM
(Continued from Page Three)
shown remarkable form in receiving
passes from J. P. Anderson, Pris. like
wise is carrying out Coach Pancoast's
commands.
Aside from this, Pris, being long'and
lanky, makes an excellent running mate
for Charlie. The right guard and center
booths are well-filled by Jewell Conrad
and Bill Edgerton. In Stan Moore's ab
sence Bill has substituted remarkably
well (While the cat's away the mice will
play).
"Gert" Mears, after a year of un
snarling "x's" and "y's" under the di
rect supervision of Coach Pancoast
showed such adeptness in interpreting
his signals that the left guard's position
was given her.
The work of Margaret Pegram and
Gladys Bryan gave them undisputed
possession of the tackle positions. Mar
garet Pegram's skill in throwing in
numerable psych, papers for a loss is
well-known, and Glady's skill in inter
cepting passes of choice viands to Pan
coast is noteworthy.
The post of mouthpiece went to Jesse
Bowen whose above qualification and
terrific plunging on the piano earned
him the berth.
The halfback positions were given to
Marie Beaclium, ant] "Georgie" Hardin,
because Marie Beaclium's habit of tell
ing too much would undoubtedly be of
great use ill a huddle, while "Georgie"
Hardin has shown graceful form in run
ing circles around Dr. Binford.
The fullback post was given to "One
Lung(?)" Mears whose "one lung(f)"
vocalizing can be excellently employed
to confuse any opposing teams' signals.
If you will watch the actions of the
above selections you may easily account
for their selection.
FACULTY ADDRESS
IS MOST EFFECTIVE
I 11. I
I II
I II
I II
I I I
You'll Be Happy in
j|j e Collegiate Shop
SHIRTS and SHORTS j j West Murkef Btref *
Presenting Exceptional Values in
25c Sind 50c Dresses, Goats, Hats and
i ii i
P. H. HANES KNITTING CO. PolO CO£ltS
Winston-Salem, N. C.
For Greensboro Days and Remainder of the Week
l I l
! i i
i i i
i ii !
i ii i
i ii i
: : :
II. 1 —!II ———Jl
THE GUILFORDIAN
Distinguished Alumni
AMOS: Look 'ere, Andy, what ailed
you last night, anyhow? I got plumb re
gusted with you.
ANDY: Huh! What was wrong with
me? Why, nothing. 1 was right myself
stepping out in high society.
AMOS: My goodness, man. Didn't
you see that look Madam Queen done
give you once or twice? It sho was a
good thing you didn't git a chance to
be with her alone much. T bet you
catch it tonight.
ANDY: Catch what? I didn't do
nothin'.
AMOS: I thought you told me you
went to some! college once upon a time.
What did you do? Sleep all the time
you was there?
ANDY: Now, Amos, what is all this
'bout, anyhow? You know that was a
mighty swell 'fair they gib tast night
in cele— cele— celebration of this 'ere
weddin' of mine and Madame Queen.
AMOS: Why, Andy, I thought there
was two things every college man could
do—that is, dance and play bridge.
And doggone if you didnt make a bum
foozle of both of them.
ANDY: What's this you're driving
at, Amos?
AMOS: Look 'ere, Andy; where did
you p'tend to go to school?
ANDY: Why, I went down South in
North Carolina to Guilford College.
And you know I'm shore proud of my
Alma Mamma —now, that ain't right.
AMOS: T guess what you'se trying
to say is Alma Mater.
ANDY: Yea, that's what I was going
to say. We won the little Six Cham
pionship that year I was there.
AMOS: I don't know nothing about
TJITTLE Six, but I sho' do wish that
this school would had learned you
somethin' about how to act when you
is at a party. I was 'shamed of you
last night.
ANDY: Now, Amos, don't you cast
no 'flexions at my school.
AMOS: No, I ain't, but I thought that
off at school folks just learned to dance
and play cards as a side line. Why,
Ruby Taylor told me you near 'bout
ruined that new pair o' shoes o' hers,
stepping all over her feet. And if you
didn't make a mess. I mean a real
sure enough mess of that game of cards
you tried to play.
ANDY: Now, listen 'ere, Amos, don't
you say nary 'notlicr word about my
school in 'sociation with last night—
'cause this school I went to was one of
them Quaker places, an' it was strictly
ag'in the rules to do that fancy step
pin' out and that bettin' on cards.
Believe It or Not
What were Webster's last words?
Zymosis, Zymotic, Zymurgy.
Visit
BELK'S DEPT.
STORE
for
SPORTSWEAR, SHOES AND
CLOTHING
Tlte Home of Better Values
Behind the Scenes
"Hurry up! Say something, some
body! This is a tense moment!" cries
Mizzie (known as Jewell Conrad). No
answer! Just blankness! Now, don't
get excited, readers, it isn't the big
day. It's only one of those daily play
practices, so exciting and amusing.
Aha! Who is this 011 the scene?
Don't you recognize him with that
scarf around his neck? Why, it's Joe
E. Brown oh, excuse me, I mean
Harry. But anyway, what's the dif.
Things seem to be livening up. The
crucial point has arrived—it is a tense
moment and there is Mr. Brown be
hind the leading lady and, man —star-
ing in mock horror, hands raised in
supplication. Laughter from the audi
ence and to rear of the stage.
Who is that man giving orders in
front there? Why, where are your
glasses? Don't you see Dave Parsons
and his side-kick, Harris Moore? Their
advice is so profound: "Walk over
here," "Then turn away," "Walk again"
—my, my—what is this—a marathon?
It is sad now —the soldier boy,—Carl
—better known as Daryl Kent, has died,
but here comes Bruce (George Silver)
to solace the poor, weeping Pauli (Rose
Askew). Sometimes plays are so true
to life.
What's this another romance? The
maid (Margaret Perkins) and the serv
ant (Dave Parsons) seem to like their
position in life as long as they're to
gether.
We're wondering who Jewell is play
ing "hops" with now. Ts it a secret,
Jewell ?
Aha! The great love scene. The
word, "Kiss me first." Carl is supposed
to bring forth this utterance, but with
an appealing look at the director, he
says, "Pauli can say it best."
More advice from the directors: "The
audience is liable to laugh here." Really,
now?
Sonic more appeals from the soldier
boy: "Does Carl HAVE to stand up?"
Somebody likes to sit down, we believe.
The scenery is alarmingly beautiful,
especially the ladders, conveniently in
the way, and the torn paper strewn over
the floor adds to the general effect.
Walton Shoe Shop
Appreciates the Patronage
of the
COLLEGE STUDENTS
1l!2 \V. Sycamore St. Phone 4017
CUAKUK MOKENZIE, Itcp.
M. L. FEIN .T. 1,. IOLL.MAN
The Toggery
20T> South Klin Street
(JREENSBOnO, N. C.
Exclusive Representatives
Stetson D. Tailors
Have Your Suit or Overcoat, Made to Your
Own Individual Measure
SHOES, HABERDASHERY, TAILORING, HATTERS
Greensboro's Smartest Men's Shop
Make This Store Your Greensboro Headquarters
You Are Welcome
November 23, 1932
FACULTY CRAP GAME..HEY! HEY!
(Continued from Page One)
esque adornment of his upper lip, the
Prince gave a clear, unauthorized ver
sion of the drive for a fund to estab
lish a school for delinquents which will
undoubtedly raise the moral and scho
lastic standing of the inshtushun nine
ty-nine one hundredths per cent Fah
renheit. (N. B.—The editors of the yel
low sheet are expected to be among
the first delinquents entered).
Perislio the Wise came through with
a long shot which failed tn /.ore as he
gave the results of his distorted re
search upon the subject of where Era
the Chased hides the credit hours of
transfers from other domains.
Following this disquisition the gallant
Yak was called upon to make a report
011 his latest achievements but pleaded
with quivering lip to be excused from
court in order that he might indulge in
some urgent research work. It was aft
erwards reported that J. Willie, out on
one of his infamous night rides, saw the
Yak skipping down a dark street with
his latest flame.
Lady Lizzie superintended the serv
ing of the beer and the fatted calf
which had been killed in honor of the
return of Duke Algie. During the re
past The Count of Sheparrl put everyone
who listened to him asleep as he threw
the bull about the Duke being ineligi
ble because he had played football with
the Swiss Navy.
When everyone was full of bull—er,
ah—calf, Lady Eva rendered Good
night Ladies, and the party broke.
WILLS
Book and Stationery Co.
Booksellers, Stationers and
Office Outfitters
GREENSBORO, N. C.
fc—
i Visit with BILL
at
i SUNSET SERVICE
STATION
! . TEXACO I'RODtTCTS
mid
| CERTIFIED I.I'RRICATION
t Complete Line of
STATIONERY
| S. H. Kress & Go.
I South Elm Street