Page Two
THE GUILFORDIAN
Published semi-monthly by tlio students of Guilford College dur
ing the school year except during examinations and holiday periods.
Member North Carolina Collegiate Tress Association
Editor-in-Chief Milton Anderson
Assistant Editor Charlotte Parker
Managing Editor Thomas Ashcraft
Assistant Managing Editor Flora Huffman
Business Manager Thomas McKnlglit
Assistant Business Manager Frank Poole
Circulating Managers Win. Yanhoy, J. W. Edgerton
SPECIAL EDITORS
Feature Editors Tom Taylor, Philip Kelsey
Sports Editors Ken Morris, Merle Woodward
Society Editor Mary Priscilla Blouch
Exchange Editor Dorothy Cliappell
Proofreaders Jynette Laßosa, Kathleen Leslie, Mary Labberton
REPORTERS
Richard Binford, Francis Lael, Thornton Conrow, Bernard Foster,
Mary Jane Gibbons, Barbara Ilamlin, Charles Hendricks, Ruth Hop
kins, (ireig Ritchie, James I'arker, Alice Swlclc, Pete Moore, Shirley
Messner, I'riscilla Palmer, Virginia Snow. Polly Morton, and George
Wilson.
FACULTY ADVISERS
Dorothy Gilbert Robert Marshall Samray Smith
Address all communications to THE GUILFORDIAN
Guilford College, N. C.
Subscription price SI.OO per year
1937 Member 1938
Flssocided Golle&ide Press
Entered at the post olliee in Guilford College as second class matter
Food for Thought
The dean says: lie's a wise student who reserves his unexcused
absences for future emergencies.
Dictatorship is a natural consequence of "democracy."
There is no crime in the world except getting caught.
A statesman is ail unpopular politician who lias been dead for more
than twenty years.
Lie about a man and lie will forgive you; tell the truth about him
and he will be your enemy for life.
Peace is impossible in an anarchy.
For every important restriction on personal liberty there are one
hundred evasions; and it is usually the evasions that are important.
Who Wants a Gym?
Are the students of Guilford College really interested in having a
gym? The contrast between the picture of the proposed gym and any
free look which you can get by casting your eyes between Cox Hall and
Purdom's house is one which the pioneer must have felt when he noticed
the difference between the barren house he lived in and the comforts
lie had left in civilization. Our heaven is to come, but we hope that it
will be slightly on the torrid nature, after our extended life in a refrig
erator. The trouble with all of us is that we have already had every
thing handed out to us. (One might almost say that we tended to be
on the spoiled side.) We want to have some part in handing out a
gym to ourselves.
The more we work for a new gym the more we will appreciate it
when we get it. C. P.
Money Moon
The budget blues are with us again, along with their attendant
wails from all quarters. This year, however, the Student Affairs Board,
having very unDemocratically balanced the budget, is bending over
backward in a democratic effort to let us unbalance it. What would
happen if the student body were to reject the proposed schedule of
expenditures is a thing best forgotten. That way madness lies.
Of course, no one is really satisfied with the budget. Everybody
believes that his own pet organization should get more than the Board
has alloted it, regardless of the number of other groups that might be
cut. A sort of armed truce is the result; the motto of the day is "You
let me alone, and I won't pick on you."
A particular bone of contention each year is the all-engulfiing
Men's Athletic Association. The poll of money sentiment taken in
chapel last Monday revealed a range from SO.IO to $15.00 in suggested
per capita appropriations for the Men's A. A.—with the majority of
those suggesting change favoring a decrease in the allotment for inter
collegiate sports. However, until comes the traditionless millenium,
the rali-rah boys and girls are always with us, football and baseball are
part of the Guilford scene—and a losing team needs lots of money.
In the interest of parliamentary amusement, we suggest that next
year's board, when the fatal day rolls around, budget two or three
hundred dollars more than is at their disposal; announce in chapel that
the figures they are presenting must be pared accordingly; and then
watch the survival of the fittest!
THE GUILFORDIAN
Open Forum
(Following the publication in the
"Open Forum" column of the last
Guir.ronniAN of a letter signed "Ex-
Convict," die following communication
appeared on one of the campus bulletin
boards. It is printed here in the in
terests of impartiality.—Ed.)
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
The members of the "ja7.7." band wish
lo announce that an amicable agree
ment concerning the time and place of
the band's practices has already been
made by the Personnel Committee and
the band. We appreciate the students'
interest in Ihe band, but nsk that 110
more letters be written to the Gi ir.Foii-
DIAN concerning the band. Although we
realize that the author of the letter
in the most recent issue of the GCJL
FOBOIAN undoubtedly meant well, we
wish to express our regret for the re
marks therein made concerning the
Dean, who has most kindly cooperated
with us in all matters.
We also ask that all complaints
against the band be made directly to
the band and we shall cooperate to the
best of our ability.
THE PERSONNEL OF THE HAND.
Ripped at Random
The attributes of a great lady is in
the rule of the 4 S's:
Sincerity.
Simplicity.
Sympathy.
Serenity.
The Egyptian Ministry of the In
terior lias announced that electric ad
vertising space is to be let 011 the
Pyramids.— Reader's Digest.
In their declining years, American
barbers' chairs are shipped to the Congo
where they are used as tribal thrones.—
Header's Digest.
In place of the familiar, blunt "Keep
Off the Grass" sign, Port Tryon park
in New York City has a signpost:
Let 110 one say, and say it to your
shame
That all was beauty here, until you
came.
—Y. Y. Herald Tribune.
Hark to the cries of pain so shrill
Here's a sit-down strike in the old tack
mill. — Sale mite.
Now I sit me down to study
I pray the Lord I don't go nutty;
And when I have learned this junk
1 pray the Lord that I don't Hunk.
—Carolinian.
Women become lings when their hus
bands behave like mules. — Clarion.
My little brother thinks lie's a ghost,
so he goes around singing, "I Ain't (Jot
Nobody."— tialemite.
Love, the quest
Marriage, the conquest
Divorce, the inquest.
—Nalemite.
A 111:111 with a slender salary should
should always marry a girl with a
small waste.— Carolinian.
"Bring in the next case," said the
judge as he drained the last bottle.—
Lenoir-Rhyncan.
I!oth men and women spring from
monkeys but women sprang further
than men.— The Mate Magaxinc.
Don't it make you mad
Don't it get your goat
To get into the bathtub
And then forget the soap.
—The State Magazine.
College life may be just a song but
it's written in the key of F.—John
sonian.
A worm is a caterpillar who played
strip poker.— Lenoir-Rliyiiean.
Pound 011 freslunan registration
card: Name of parents Mama and
Papa.—Of rolinian.
SECOND-CLASS
MATTER
By
THE CARRIER
Well, well, well, and how did you
like your grades not so hot? The fact
is that some people are disturbed be
en use tlii' grades for last semester
average higher than they ever have in
the memory of the dean of women. She
says that it is evident that the courses
aren't tough enough. Ilmnun! A word
to the wise: You can't change your
course after Monday.
Ifoliert Taylor Parsons ju-t can't
stay out of the news. Over last week
end hi- was about as popular 011 this
campus as laryngitis at a liog-callers'
convention, l'erian's dainty feet seemed
lo tit into the proper shoes very well,
though.
Wo hear that the S. S. Mississippi
is preparing to weigh anchor. Will
there lie a girl left in tills port when
it sails?
Elsewhere in this issue appears a
deanly epigram concerning absences
and the sapience of the student who
saves 'em for "future emergencies."
Which reminds us of another remark
from the ditto source concerning exauis,
to-wit: There has to be a hell so we
can have something to look forward to.
Tsk, tsk, Doc. Never use a sentence
to end a preposition with.
Wonder if the pledge to snub "Fats"
Waller isn't good publicity for "Fats."
Anyway, if you signed the petition
when you were first approached you
got gypped out of the other seven
stories they're telling. Get together,
gal", and we'll see you In the picket
line.
Seems the Dramatenr Council almost
sounded taps for three taps at 12. How
ever, the cast has been revised, and the
Junior class founds its contribution to
the gynin project 011 a mystery, too.
Never mind the cause, tlio, let's see the
show. It promises to be excellent en
tertainment if Weyil lives down to ex
pectations.
So Woolston moved in with the
President last week. The high blonde
pressure over new north way?
Twenty-seven student? on the honor
roll. Think of that now. Thirty-two
students made all A's and B's. Maybe
we better get a chapter of Phi Beta
Kappa, huh? Next semester the scholar
ship society is going to look like a
mass meeting.
Or n family reunion, considering the
l'eittcls, the Parkers and the Ander
sons. You know who l'ecls out of place
:it a family reunion, don't you? That's
right! -The Carrier.
One thing is news though. That's
the Monogram dance. If you've been
carrying the torch for Willie and the
hoys, here's your chalice to support the
college (Sibil 11 B-A-N-D and do a little
extra-curricular swinging.
Now you take Yalentine's day, for
instance. That's over a week away, hut
then, it behooves a few we might name
(what reserve!) to begin thinking
about it. We've thought it over our
selves and evolved a rime we think
we'll use when the times Comes. Upon
payment of a slight royalty you may
use it, too.
I'd send my girl a Valentine
If I only knew that she was mine,
But I don't.
So why acclaim in silly rime
One unto whom I'm just "part time"?
Well, I won't!
Hosvs are red
Violets are blue,
We gotta fill space
ISO this will do.
A fool and his money nre some
party.— Crescent.
February 5, 1938
' Sheepish sun
l'alely lieatless;
Damp, stinging cold,
Thnt linrts my nose
To breathe it;
Wind, thnt forces
The moist, biting chili
I'p my ilress
Anil down my neck,
Until I want to
Shrink within myself
And die.
Musi we pray to be saved?
Consciously, habitually say a prayer,
Thanking God for blessings
We probably worked like hell to get!
Begging for something we aren't sure
we deserve, but still want—
You say that's human. All right. And
who wants to be saved?
lint I say it's a mail's own fault —not
God's—
if he never gets ahead.
And if he spent the time it takes (o say
a really good prayer
In budgeting bis time, or some such
worthwhile practice,
He'd have more to show for if.
And another lliing—l'd like to know
Does Cod really want to be praised and
exalted all the time?
And if He does, is it conceit,
Or a defense mechanism for I lis in
feriority complex
When lie looks at the world lie made?
Life sneaked up and tickled my feet.
But 1 was educated and absorbed,
So life shrugged her shoulders
And went away.
When she was gone,
1 scratched the itching places
And smiled condescendingly.
MISTAKE
By chance a man spoke to me.
He said:
This world is not what God intended
it to be.
I scoffed at him.
What do you know of God and His
intentions?
You are only a man.
But suddenly I doubted my own words.
And 1 looked and stared at him fear
ful ly
To assure myself of his human identity.
11. was God and I apologized.
NIGHT
The blackness of the night hurt my
eyes,
And frightened me,
So that I fled.
Then without warning I burst into
A brilliant light,
Which pained my vision and inspired
new fears,
So that I ran back into the soothing
darkness.
You are night to me.
♦
FACULTY THERMOMETER
NEARS BOILING POINT
(Continued From Page One)
Cox Hall. Center Section tops Yankee
Stadium by 1 per cent, having 20 per
cent of her stalwart proponents of the
Men's Athletic association collected
from. You can't doubt that the bubbles
will rise there. The Day Students and
Mary llobbs with IP per cent and 7 per
cent, respectively, has been waiting for
the tirst of the month before they jiut
(ire under the thermometer.
Mr. David Parsons says that ho
thinks that approximately -10 per cent
of the goal of $4,500 has been achieved.
—
Left-handed beer mugs can be made
into right-handed ones by walking
around the counter.— Davidson Yowl.