Page Two
THE GUILFORDIAN
Published semi-monthly by the students of Guilford College dur
ing the school year except during examinations aud holiday periods.
Member North Carolina Collegiate Press Association
Editor-in-Chief Milton Anderson
Assistant Editor Charlotte Parker
Managing Editor Thomas Ashcraft
Assistant Managing Editor Flora Huffman
Business Manager Thomas McKnight
Assistant Business Manager Frank Poole
Circulating Managers Win. Vanhoy, .T. W. Edgerton
SPECIAL EDITORS
Feature Editors Tom Taylor, Philip Kelsey
Sports Editors __Ken Morris, Snag Hartley
Society Editor Mary Priscilla Bloucli
Exchange Editor Dorothy Cbappell
Proofreaders Kathleen Le.slie, Mary I.abberton
REPORTERS
Richard Rlnford, Thornton Conrow, Bernard Foster. Mary Jane
Gibbons, Barbara Hamlin. Charles Hendricks, Ruth Hopkins, Greig
Ritchie, James Parker, Alice Swick, Pete Moore. Shirley Messner.
Priscilla Palmer, Virginia Snow, Polly Morton, George Wilson, and
Merle Woodward.
FACULTY ADVISERS
Dorothy Gilbert Robert Marshall Snmray Smith
Address all communications to THE GUILFORDIAN
Guilford College, N. C.
Subscription price SI.OO per year
1937 Member 1938
Flssocided CbUe&iale Press
Entered at the post odice in Guilford College as second class matter
Demos Wakes
Many hosannas have been sung this past week in praise of the
awakening of Guilford democracy. The occasion was the rejection of
the proposed Student Affairs budget for 3938-1939. Usually passed
without question, tlie schedule of expenditures submitted by the board
this year underwent heavy fire from all sides and had to be revised
before it was accepted. Wherefore, long live the public spirit of the
Guilford student body!
As a matter of fact, the public spirit of the aforementioned student
body was mainly the property of an extremely small group with just a
hint of administrational coloring, which decided that it would be an
interesting intellectual experience to see the Student Affairs Board
sweat. Unexpected support accrued to their banner from sundry silver
tongued gladiators of the market-place, and the students eagerly
followed.
Three days after the budget's initial defeat, the more controversial
portion of it was approved by a two-to-one vote at a special meeting;
and the revision, when it came up, passed with almost a four-to-one
majority for Part A and an eight-to-one vote favoring Part B.
Beauty Ballot
"in the spring time a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts
of love," was in all probability a New Garden Boarding School proverb
quoted by many of our grandparents at this time of the year. In more
recent times the "young man's fancy" has been altered to thoughts of
the. coming election of the Queen of the May. And within the last year
the young man's fancy at Guilford has taken a new turn in the field of
thought, this time staying within its own walls and trying to decide
who will be Male May Queen to represent that faction of the student
body in its unique performance inaugurated last May Day.
This year THE GUILFORDIAN is going to attempt to solve this perplex
ing problem by means of' a campus poll.. Look for the ballot in your
next GUILFORDIAN ! T. A.
Making the World Safe . . .?
Peace meetings won't make peace; Neutrality Acts which allow us
to sell to Germany and Italy, and they, in turn, to Franco, won't make
peace; increasing our navy won't make peace.
We buy from aggressor powers, and they buy from us: that is good
business. But what do they buy? Scrap iron, oil, steel—ammunition—
with which to conquer other nations.
We were sorry when Italy conquered Ethiopia. England could
have stopped that war, but England wanted peace, and we wanted her
to have peace. We thought it better for Italy to have Ethiopia than
to give an excuse for war; and we thought that once Ethiopia belonged
lo Italy we could settle down and be at peace again.
But where did it end? Not with Ethiopia, not with Spain, not with
China, and it won't end with Austria.
We must have collective security economic cooperation within
international law. How can we say it will lead to war when our passive
program is guaranteeing never-ending war?
We must have an active instead of a passive peace. We won't fight
for democracy—we tried that once and it didn't work. But we must
deprive aggressors of our economic cooperation, which is giving them all
the support they need to carry on their program. F. 11.
THE GUILFORDIAN
SECOND-CLASS
MATTER
By
THE CARRIER
College newspapers began with the
Dartmouth Gazette in 1800, says the
"How It Began" feature of the Daily
News. . . . And columnists have been
hating editors and managing editors
ever since.
Speaking of editors . . . Our boy .Mil
ton ... lit* hasn't been seen on campus
o' nights recently. No. Spends his time
WALKING back from Greensboro. She's
a blonde, described as being "idealistic,
but open-minded" . . . Any comment?
One young lady sends notes to "Mr.
Morris" when she wants to be walked
home from the library, he signs 'em
"(Miss) Mabel Lea Smith".
Remember Gertrude Stein's, "Famil-'
iarity with me does not breed eon-1
tempt,—only more familiarity"
—♦—
So the budget finally passed, giving |
sixty-six and two-thirds bricks per stu
dent to the gymnasium project. How
many years will that take. Boring?
Business manager Parsons has got
himself a new ear —with a back seat.
Paper for Biology Twelve:
The Cell
There are several different kinds of
cells. There are plant cells, animal
cells, prison cells, dry cells and liey,
Morris, where'd you get that corduroy
jacket you've been living in? Oh, yeah.
And there are fire cells.
If you are one who is accustomed to
dating in the library, you'll be inter
ested in the rumor that prolonged good
nights at Founders are now being noted
and registered. See Mrs. Anderson for
details.
Tin- Carrier seldom apologizes, but
this time he feels it his duty. He- was
all set to call the Junior class' play
a "thud and blunder" production in
stead ot' blood and thunder. He was,
well, disappointed. The only thing
wrong with the production was the play,
j Bouquets to Corky and Ozzie. They stole
the show. Corky was swell and Ozzie
was Ozzie.
Hopkins has been coming home late
over at Mary Garden.
Ever notice how much A. Woodward
and F. Neese look alike? Anyway,
Woodward likes her looks so well that
he went to Greensboro last week-end
and clean plumb forgot his morning
papers. . . . The little fat boy with
the bow and arrow just chuckled and
allowed as how no News was good news.
Spellbinders Kelsey, Maloney, and
Taylor delivered their Junior orations
Monday night. "Very good essays,"
quipped the English department in sum
ming up her criticism.
Miss Gons was there. She could hard
ly keep awake. However, she started
on a date after the ten o'clock lights
blinked. And were the gals envious!
And Kelsey .... he bet a half a buck
he could do fifty "push-ups". So he
took off his coat and started right there
in the parlor at Founders. He collapsed
on forty-nine. Tsk. Tsk.
Dot Chappell bought .1. 1). (Just call
me Tracy) Bowman a pair of handcuffs
and a night stick . . . Hut. . . Once there
was a guy who hit his wife's thumb
with a hammer . . . The neighbors all
wondered how he got from under it
long enough to hit it. . . .
Some say the Social Committee doc
tored the seating arrangement . . . But
we don't believe that, Betty Mae.
Ding! Ding! Supper's ready!
Cyclone a wind that comes from
nowhere, lias no place to go and is in
an awful big hurry to get there.
Some parents become bankrupt be
cause they make so many allowances
for their college sons.— Reader's Digest.
Open Forum
BAD SPORTS AND BASKETBALL
Editor, Tin' Guilfordian:
I tliiiik tliiit it is very unsportsman
like to leave a basketball game—or any
kind of a game—before it is over, just
because our team is losing. If tlie boys
who play on our teams are willing to
stay out there and try, the least we can
do is stick behind them. If they are
losing, they need our support more than
ever. I think that the people of our
college do not appreciate nearly enough
the good work our basketball team has
done for us this year. It is a lot harder
to play on a losing team than a win
ning team, and we ought to be prouder
of our boys than if they had won every
game on their schedule. Q.
IX COX BALL IT'S RAZORS
Kditor of the Guilfordinn,
Dear Sir:
Damn the hair-dryers anyway! In
m.v mind, it isn't so necessary to look
beautiful at Guilford suppers that you
have to wash your hair every night, set
it and dry it just before supper when
some of the best orchestra come 011 the
radio—for instance, Sophisticated Swing
and George Hall. If you're trying to
make an impression 011 some of the un
attached males who hang around after
the meal, let me advise you that it's
110 use. If you're going to ask for a
date, they'll surprise' you some time
when, in your opinion you look your
worst, rather than some night when
you've wasted all afternoon and every
body's enjoyment of the programs by
trying to become exotic. And if you
do have a date, what's the use of trying
to make yourself more beautiful? —he
might not recognize you.
And, anyhow, what's the reason for
trying to make yourself acceptable to
any of the iron-hearted acmes of mas
culinity around this campus? After all,
the best ones are already taken up.
But, to get back to the dryers—it's
hard enough to get a decent program
011 around these parts without some
hopeful ruining all the slim chances by
building u]> her own hopes for a start
ling success—(oh, what a let-down she's
going to get!). The boys in Cox can't
complain about the electric razors
tiny more than we can complain about
the so-called dryers. It has been my
experience that it is much easier to
dry your hair some other way than by
using a static-making machine.
llow about sticking your head out
the window into Guilford's glorious
sunshine and letting nature take its
course? Signed,
ME.
PATTER
From our posle department: To
I>avie Solotoff and Joe Crescenzo. the
sound elTeets men for the Junior play,
our burliest handclasp. You iliil a
swell job anil deserve praise . . SIIO
miff . . . To George Wilson, the old man
of many easts, who played two one
night stumlx Saturday night. After ap
pearing in the first uet. of "Three Taps
at Twelve" George beat it to Woman's
college and played the old man iu one
of their one-net plays . . To the entire
Junior class and every one eonnected
with the production, Congrats. We like
your spirit . . I hear "Camels never
get 011 your nerves" . . but what about
probation . . I.et us take time off here
to tell you what a "natural" we think
Ho/.ie Weyll is . . . From Guilford to
Hollywood in one short ilrnma —maybe
. . . They tell us that our Kinston
niouudsinnn to lie, the noted Albert
Greenleaf Taylor, stole the show* and
ineeilentally a few hearts over at
Greensboro eollege last Sunday night
with his seashore accent . . O, Alhertie,
Won't you say Iloigh Toiile just once
more . . Willy Lnuten is now employed
during his spare time . . We thought
you were a bread in the bone G'boro
man, I till . . or, are you a man of many
hearts? . . .
The difference between the right
word and the almost right word is the
difference between lightning and the
lightning bug.— Mark Twain.
March 5, 1938
BROTHERLY LOVE
| Ido not like my fellowman,
' ]le sets my teeth on edge;
Hut I must work for liim and plan
To win him privilege.
I do not like him or his brother,
Much less his wife and tot.
The place I wish them is another
That is extremely hot.
lie breathes to me his tale of woe,
And apparently supposes
It's fun for me to undergo
JI is personal halitosis.
He gives me gooseflesh in my mind;
He turns my stomach over;
I'd rather kick his bare behind
Than help him get it cover.
To kick him would be wrong, I know;
Of course T'll never strike him.
It isn't that I hate him so . . . .
I simply do not like him.
It is hard to hide my feelings, for
It stands my hair 011 end
Just to contemplate our dealings, or
To hear him call me "friend".
It's the worst of situation,
For I know full well that he
And all of his relatoins
Feel the same concerning me.
TO BE—OR NOT TO BE . . .
"Be good, sweet maid, and let who will
be clever,"
And make your life a song, as sweet
maids should.
But if you'd rather dance than sing
forever,
Be clever, dear, and let who will be
good.
SLEEP TIGHT
Before I learned to love you, dear,
Life was mine;
A thing to do with as I chose —
A cup of wine
To hold aloft, and quaff alone.
But now I think that I shall die
For pure spite;
For just the joy of coming back
Each starry night
To haunt your dreams, as you have
mine.
AT CHURCH
Cireat God, to Thee I bring
A soul unshriven.
Vet the praise I sing
To Thee—is freely given.
80 hear me while 1 pray:
This heart is Thine alone;
And wilt Thou give me bread?
—who asked of Thee a stone?
This dwelling place of Thine is made
of stone.
I wonder what it cost.
WVr't spent for hospitals 'twould save
many a groan,
-But then —this worship-place would
have been lost.
Thy spirit dwells within this house,
The minister said; and so I have 110
fear.
—Strange—l come here every Sunday
And yet 1 have not found Thee —here.
1 wonder if that's irreligious. Well,
Maybe it is. Queer
That it does not matter to me —here.
I feel my soul ascend toward Thee,
And yet—Thou seom'st aloof—
I cannot reach Thee; for my soul
Cannot rise beyond this roof.
I wish the fellow next to me
Would move —good looking chap—
I wonder why lie comes here
Anyway—to take a nap?
This is Thy dwelling place, O T^ord,
These walls—so like a prison;
And though I try to reach Thee here,
My soul has never risen—
As once it did upon a wooded hill
When I called out to Thee.
But now—l wonder why
Tt is not as it was—when I was free.
The college man is too honest to steal,
100 proud to beg, too lazy to work, too
poor to pay cash. That's why we give
him credit.- Catawba Pioneer,