December 14,1976
The FINAL
BY STEVE WELLS
"Now boys and girls, as you
know, today is the day that we
are to take our big calculus
test. So let's get settled and put
our thinking caps on.
"All you will need is a pencil,
a piece of paper, and your own
mind."
"How about an eraser Miss
Dewy?"
"Yes Jimmy, you can use an
eraser if you want.
"I'm giving you the test paper
now. I want you to leave it
face down until I tell you to turn
it over. And remember, keep
your eyes on your own paper. If
I see any wandering eyes, I'll
take your test and you will go to
the Dean's office.
"All right, you may turn your
test paper over. Before you do
anything else, write your name
and the date in the top right
hand corner so you won't forget.
"You may begin."
"Oscar! Is that a calculator
you have there?"
"Yes ma'am. It's my new
Hewelt Packart Programmable.
Do you like it? I got it for my
birthday!"
"Now Oscar, I didn't tell you
you could use that."
"Well I just wanted to see if
the batteries were dead yet or
not."
"Well put it away right now!"
"Miss Dewy!"
"What is it Phillip?"
"Derik keeps copying off me."
"That's not true Miss Dewy! I
was just looking to see what the
date was!"
UNC-G Concert and Lecture Series
BY PAMELA THOMPSON
Two major events will be
offered by the UNC-G Concert
and Lecture Series upon our
return from Christmas break.
The play Sherlock Holmes,
taken from Sir Arthur Conan
Doyle's classic episodes, will be
presented on January 14, at 8:15
p.m. The play shows Holmes
and Moriarty, his prime foe, in
a life and death struggle pitting
good against evil. Sherlock
Holmes is an entertaining
theatre event that will prove to
bring all the mystery and color of
old London. Tickets are SI.OO
for Guilford students and
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* *
"Today is the 17th Derik. Now
go sit in the back of the room."
"Yes ma'am. Thank you
ma'am."
"Miss Dewy!"
"What is it Jenny?"
"Meg and I have to go to
the bathroom."
"Well you can't go together.
You go first Jenny, and then
Meg can go."
"Oh. Well that's all right. I
think we can wait until after the
test. Can't we Meg?"
"Uh huh."
"Psst! Hey Kenny! What's
the answer to number three?"
"False."
"How'd you get that? It says
'Find the value of X'."
"Oh. Right. I must have
gotten my notes mixed up. Ask
Mark, he probably knows."
"Psst! Hey Mark! What's
the answer to number three?"
"False."
"How'd you get that? It says
'Find the value of X'."
"Oh. Right. Ask Kenny. I
got it off his paper."
"All right class, your time is
up. Put your pencils down and
pass your papers forward.
"Before you all leave, I want to
wish you all a very merry
Christmas, and a happy new year
also, and don't forget to bring
your presents in for show and tell
when you come back."
"Thank you Miss Dewy. Merry
Christmas!"
faculty, and can be obtained at
the Information Desk.
The Osipov Balalaika
Orchestra will be returning for
the third U.S. tour on January
18, at 8:15 p.m. The Orchestra,
featuring stars of the Bolshoi
Ballet and the Bolshoi Opera,
will present the sound of massed
balalaikas the very essence
of Russian national music.
Tickets are SI.OO for Guilford
students, and are available at
the Founders Hall Information
Desk.
Both Sherlock Holmes and the
Osipov Balalaika Orchestra will
be performing at Aycock
Auditorium in Greensboro.
The Guilfordian
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