Newspapers / The Guilfordian (Greensboro, N.C.) / Dec. 11, 1979, edition 1 / Page 2
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page two Editorial Christmas wishes With the advent of the holi day season, I thought I'd end a semester of editorials with some cheerful wishes and greetings in the holiday spirit. Humans have a nagging tendency to slip into harried complaceny during the traditional times, and some times a Christmas greeting is the best way to jolt us into joviality. At the top of the list this year is a wish from the Ayatollah Khomeini to hold the 1988 Winter Olympics in Tehran. He feels the climate is ideal for the traditional Moslem winter sports and would like to see Olga Korbut sing "I Walk the Line" in a chador. A more domestic wish comes from the John Birch Society, which is offering Santa the services of its members to form a human dam, temporarily halt the follow of the Chappaquidick River, and then search the river bottom. From campus comes a wish by Hugh Stohler for a home videotape recording of "The At the top of the list this year is a wish from the Ayatdlah Khomeini to hold the 1988 Winter Olympics in Tehran. Rocky Horror Picture Show," complete with rice, newspaper, and two black lace garters. The Board of Trustees wants Santa to bring them several auto graphed tapes of Jerry Rubin's Dana speech. Jimmy Carter is wishing for new jogging shoes, and Amy told Santa she only wanted Daddy to let her accept her grandmother's offer of court assasin. John Paul II is asking for another shot at cutting an album; this one will sport an Andy Warhol cover and two translations of "Songs from Krakow." Guilforclian Editor Brian Carey Layout Editor Beth Eakes News Editor Paul Holcomb Features Editor Gordon Palmer Sports Editor Cintonya Allison Photography Editor Steve Lowe Business Managers Frank and Mary Merritt Columnists Douglas Hasty, Bryan Smith Campus Contact Tamara Frank Circulation Joost De Wit, Peter Kothe Layout Russell Tucker, Sharon Ehly, Stephen Harvey, Karen Oppelt Lisa Schweitzer, Austin Burns and Marsha Halper Advertising Kathe Luther, Fred Zumwait Typing Susan Franklin The Guilfordian reserves the right to edit all articles, letters, and artwork for taste, veracity, and length. The deadline for all copy is midnight on the Friday preceeding the Tuesday of publication. Articles may be left on the office door jn upstairs Founders, or mailed to Box 17717. The opinions expressed by the staff are their own and not those of the paper or of Guilford College. By Brian Carey Editor From the dead-letter file (the envelope bore the address North Pole") comes a request by the Greensboro YMCA to have Keith Richards play part of his sentence in the new gym nasium on campus. And the Committee to Advise Freshmen is asking Santa's elves to make little wooden replicas of Securi ty jeeps to hang on key chains that will be put in next year's Freshmen Packets. Santa sends Christmas gree tings to the mice loose in King, the dirt paths and their attend ing posts, the rats in Bryan, the men loose in Binford, the mud in the college lake and the delicacies of the Grill Room. In honor of spectacular achieve ment Santa's elves send hand made toys to the Homecoming Committee, Concert Commit tee, Oktoberfest fans, and Bruce Lee. One Christmas wish intercep ted in the mail room was a wish that Santa publish a list of great Christmas presents. Santa sent us that very list, so here are a few of his suggestions, fake candy "Oranges from Florida' in a wooden crate, Mac Donalds gift certificates, Elvis Presley souvenir barbituates, chocolate dubloons in tacky gold foil, chest toupees, "Hustler" sub scriptions, plastic models of "Skylab" (complete with na palm for a good flaming death scene), Idi Amin dolls, two week vacations in Harrisburg, Pa., and the soundtrack from "Alien". And Santa wrote at the end of the list, "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good break!" Guilfordian Christmas 0X1(1 From the Guiliordian Staff Vacuum blues Dear Editor: I would like to give my opinion (and I'm sure I will be speaking for others) on the availability and the condition of vacuum cleaners in Bryan Dorm. Now this may not seem like a major issue involving campus life, but I assure you "the case of the missing va cuum cleaners", has effected almost every dorm student at one time. The first problem a student faces when he or she tries to locate a vacuum cleaner is where to go to obtain one. The best and first place to look is with the intern of your floor.The chances of finding the machine there are 60/40: sixty percent of the time you are likely not to find it and forty percent of the time you are. Once you know the interm does not have the vacuum cleaner, you have to search the dorm to find the person who does. By the time you finally do track down the vacuum cleaner, it is more than likely that the bag is full and there are no replacements. This leaves the student quite frustrated and unwillingly living in dirt. A few days later, as the dirt piles higher, Bob White comes around and checks the suites to make sure everything is clean and in good shape. Bob White leaves a nasty note saying that unless this place is cleaned up in 24 hours, you will all be charged sl6. Now how are we supposed to keep our suites clean and sanitary if we don't have the utilities with which to do so? Perhaps someone in charge of this poorly run operation could give me an answer? An infuriated student War on Iran Dear Editor: So much has been said about Iran, I thought I'd have my say. Letters to the Editor Keep thof* letters coming; it's better to debate an issue without settling H than to settle an issue withputdebating it. AN letters must be submitted by Friday, and should be no longer 200 words' in length. Letters can be left on the office door in upstairs j Founders, or mailed to Box 17717. I realize this letter is going to be called reactionary, silly, insane, and many other uncomplimen tary names, but I just want to show a different viewpoint. First off, I appeal to that outmoded and often criticized virtue, honor. I don't mean the "I'm the best" type of vanity, but simply self-respect. Would you let members of your family be kidnapped, ransomed, and put under the threat of death without doing the most possible in retaliation? Secondly, the Ayatollah Khomeini has committed an act of war. The embassy of one country is, under international law, the land of that country. By taking over our embassy, the Iranians have invaded our land just as much as if they had landed on the banks of the Potomac. The other people who have \ December 11, 1979 done this in the last 50 years have been Hitler, Mussolini, Hirohito, the North Koreans, and terrorists. Is the Ayatollah akin to these people? I think so, for the Ayatollah is a fanatic. Fanatics seem to cause war as far as history is concerned. One ought to support one's country as it has supported you; this is not "America, love it or leave it," but just a willingness to support it. The only conclussion I foresee for the Iranian crisis is war, which can only be averted by the return of the hostages. We have the future of our diplomats to consider. And before anyone says I'm an armchair warrior, I will swear on my mother's cooking that I will enlist within an hour of finding out war has been declared. Sincerely, JohnSteeley
The Guilfordian (Greensboro, N.C.)
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