GUILFORDIAN, December 9, 1980
Page two
Editorial
Santa Claus - cult hero
To provide a keener insight into the true nature of your
Guilfordian editors, we have decided to publish a recent
conversation on views of Christmas.
Editor Jim: "The sadness and dangers of Christmas are multiple:
1) "Let us examine the dangers of making Santa Claus a cult
hero. Many thinkers such as Mosca have emphasized the
ideological significance of our heroes. By making this the season of
Santa Claus we are expousing a set of values that endanger our
safety and freedom The character knows who's been naughty or
nice.
"Is this anything but a legitimized Big Brother? Is there a big
difference between breaking and entering through a chimney or a
window? Further, by coming to rely on St. Nick's charity, we set
ourselves up to be bought out by simple material gains at the
expense of our spiritual yearnings.
2) "Another problem is rooted in the Christmas tree tradition.
Every year we encourage the destruction of millions of living plants
so that they can come and drop needles on our shag carpeting. Is
there a clearer example of our disregard for the natural world and
our ruthless desire to dominate it."
3) "Finally, this season is proclaimed to be a time of wanton lust
and cheap grabbing. The mistletoe premise devalues all the
spirituality of a loving and caring relationship. Certainly even the
men from Milner would not rely on such a shallow and bogus
excuse for an embrace. This does not even consider the spread of
disease which results from this practice."
Notice how Editor Jim is coolly analytical, well organized, and
rhetorical.
Editor Dale: "You're probably one of those people who write
Christmas, "Xmas" You remind me of a girl I once dated. She
thought mistletoe was a foot disease. She had the. . .
At this point Editor Jim stood up and left. The Christmas season is
also a time for exams and Editor Jim was falling rather far behind
in his work. Editor Dale was left mumbling to himself. Fortunately,
up walked the upstart freshman, Features Editor John Mottern. If
possible Editor Dale would edit Editor John' s features. That being
impossible, the conversation turned once again to Christmas.
Editor Dale: "Merry Christmas"
Editor John: "Is it Christmastime again? Time to run, run, run,
and spend, spend, spend. All those unwanted relatives you'd
rather offend than let in the door. Well, Editor Dale, don't you
think its time to be a fool again and spend your stipend? I know its
damn little but its better than receiving a present from that special
person you forgot to buy anything for. If you get caught in that
position, just say, 'lt hasn't come in yet.' That's always an easy
way out."
Editor Dale: "Why are you always looking for something easy?
Let's change the subject to Santa Claus."
Editor John: "It will be a long time before I let some old man put
his hand down my stockings. I'm tired of ruining a pair of nylons
every year -- I keep thinking they'll hold more."
Editor Dale: "That's the entire problem with Christmas; greed and
materialism have replaced love and sharing."
Editor John: "That's all fine and dandy, but without the annual
boost to the economy a lot of people in this country wouldn't have
much to share. Right now all I'm interested in sharing is a pitcher
of beer. Or if the eggnog's spiked. . .
Thus another philosophical night at the Guilfordian has
deteriorated into the pursuit of pleasure.
0 ° w
From the entire Guilfordian staff, we wish that your pursuit of
pleasure brings you a Merry Christmas.
Guilfomian
Editors Dale Easley, Jim Shields
News editor Barbara Phillips
Features editor John Mottern
Photography editor Jack Mohr
Layout editors Gina Daviso, Susan Ide
Sports editor . Mike Van Wagner
Business manager Mary Merritt
Circulation Frank Merritt, Mary Merritt
Copy Editors Linda Paul, Carolyn Welty
Typists Frances Alexander, Kathy Carlson
Writers Roy Parkhurst, John Steely, Linda Paul, Sue Hubley,
Bill McCathran, Joe Connors
That heavenly money
A column by O.L. Backer
God has called me to write
this column.
I was opening my mail today,
and there it was. "COD has
called YOU to play a key role in
this final hour!" Naturally, I
was intrigued by this, and
decided to investigate further.
It seemed that Jack Van Impe
Ministries, operating out of
Royal Oak, Michigan, was invit
ing me to become a "Video
Volunteer" for only sls a month
just 50 cents a day. A
handsome multi-colored bro
chure explained how this would
support radio and TV broad
casts to millions around the
world. "That 50 cents a day will
be sent ahead and awaiting you
when you enter into His pre
sence," exclaimed the accom
panying letter. Indeed. . .so
you can take it with you
"I would probably lose it rather than find
it. in the middle of freeway rush hour."
Alternatively, I could become
a "Prophecy Partner", "World
Witness", or "President's
Council" for $25, SSO, or SIOO a
month. This was clearly a
momentous decision. The
thought of having a sound credit
balance waiting for me in the.
next world was an appealing
one. . . particularly if there's a
cash bar.
I decided to consult my old
friend and spiritual advisor, the
Reverend Johnathan "Jack"
Daniels. He was out when I
called, but a bucket of cold
water soon brought him around.
I explained my problem and
asked for his guidance.
Rev. Daniels just grunted and
thought for awhile. "If you're
thinking of sending money to
him," he finally replied,
"you're too far gone for me to
help. But at least check out the
competition first."
This sounded like good ad
vice, so I went home and
switched on the television. I had
already missed the Billy Gra
ham special on "The World
Revolution," but I was lucky
enough to catch the "700 Club"
show with Pat Robertson, origi
nating from Virginia Beach.
This rocked along for awhile
with a routine guest describing
how God had changed his life.
Then the co-host began describ
ing how he had gotten religion.
"I met Jesus Christ in a car
driving around in Texas," he
said.
Reach out and touch the world
Time is growing shorter.
Where will you be this summer?
Home? Watching re-runs on
television? Mowing the grass?
Or will you be talking to a
member of Parliament while
Big Ben chimes in the back
ground, watching Paris awaken
while the Eiffel Tower stands
sentinal? Or perhaps you will be
skiing in the Bavarian Alps or
walking through Havana com
paring it to what you have just
seen in Mexico?
Summer School in London.
Summer School in France. Sum
mer School in Germany. Sum
mer School in Cuba/Mexico.
That woke me right up. No
wonder I was a backslider, I
thought. I'vew never been clo
ser than Louisiana. I meditated
on this route, but eventually
rejected it. The pressure of
checking the other lanes at
stoplights would get to me
before long. I would probably
lose it rather than find it, in the
middle of freeway rush hour.
Who knows? Maybe that's a
leading cause of accidents: look
ing a little too hard for Jesus in
that passing Ford wagon.
So I changed channels and
picked up the "PTL Club" with
Jim Bakker out of Charlotte.
"Jesus loves you -- He really
does!" said Bakker. Unfortun
ately, little was offered byway
of specifics to cement that
relationship. Bakker did wax
enthusiastic when he spoke of
contributions to finish his world
mission center building, but I'm
not sure about that. I under
stand that Jim has been having
troubles with the federals, and
I'd hate to see my heavenly
bank account hijacked by the
Internal Revenue Service.
I briefly considered trying to
get in touch with Jerry Falwell
and the Moral Majority crew,
but I was worried about his
close association with Ronald
Reagan. I was afraid that if Cod
is a Democrat, or even a
moderate Republican, he might
decide to impound my savings.
Still baffled, I went back to
Rev. Daniels, and told him that
I wasn't sure about any of those
characters. He focused his eyes
Inauguration plans announced
The last weekend in January
will be a very special time for
Guilford College, as the school
inaugurates its sixth president,
William R. Rogers.
The weekend's activities will
feature a cello concert, a semi
formal ball, a panel discussion,
and a special address by distin
guished speaker, Dr. Patricia A.
Graham.
The general theme will focus
around issues in the develop
ment of creative leadership
with implications for both na
tional policy and Guilford's own
long-range planning
Guilford College, through the
Center for Off Campus Educa
tion, offers these programs for
1981 so that students may reach
out to the world during their
summer, reach out of them
selves and gain new perspec
tives and perceptions. Each
program is led by experienced
faculty who will not only teach a
course but who will also open
your eyes to different ways of
life, different cultures and
ideas.
You can travel with good
leaders and good companions
and earn credit at the same
time. You can take courses
in my general direction and
mumbled something about
there perhaps being hope for
me yet.
"Look here," he said, bran
dishing the letter I'd received.
"What is the recurrent theme
running through all of this?"
"Cod Is On Your Side," I
quoted from memory.
"Besides that?"
"Send Money."
The Reverend smiled at my
perception. "Now let's look
further," he continued. "What
were you telling me about the
special guests on the Robertson
show?"
"Do you mean the two nucle
ar physicists, and the film clip
from the Atomic Industrial Fo
rum praising nuclear power?"
"Very good," he prompted,
"and what about this line from
the Van Impe flyer?"
He was pointing to a part
which read "A prominent gene
ral has stated, 'lf SALT II is
passed, we are in the final 1,000
days of history.' "
"Are you making cynical
observations," I responded,
"about electronic evangelists,
greed, and reactionary poli
tics?"
The Reverend just smiled. I
thanked him for his time and
left to do some heavy thinking.
It was time, I realized, to make
up my mind.
And so I have formed Divine
Truth Mission O.L. Backer
World Ministries. If I've been
called, why go halfway?
In parting, I want you to
know, Brothers and Sisters, that
your gifts (sent care of this
paper) will spread the word
about divine healing and pluto
nium around the world. Millions
are counting on you
Dr. Graham is currently the
Warren Professor of the History
of Education at Harvard. She
has also recently served as
Dean of the Radclife Institute,
and Director of the National
Institute of Education.
PRIVATE VOICE INSTRUC
TION -1 have a few openings in
my private voice studio. Experi
enced teacher, and member of
the National Association of Tea
chers of Singing. Call Peggy
Russell, 299-7562 for an ap
pointment.
designed to merge with the
surrounding resources. Courses
whose existance would be im
possible here, so far from their
origin.
Re-runs or the Riviera?
Chores or the Changing of the
Guards? Taco Bell or tacos in
Havana? Baby-sitting or Berlin?
If you want to join the Summer
School Abroad program of your
choice, do it now! We need your
registration as soon as you
return from Christmas Break.
Applications are available at the
Center for Off Campus Educa
tion in the basement of Foun
ders.