Alice
continued from page 1
"I suppose you're in luck
then," said a voice from inside
somewhere, "And so, if I guess
correctly, is your parodist."
Alice looked up to see what
appeared, on first glance to be a
man in a tin can, but was soon
seen to be the White Dean in a
suit of armour.
"Well," said she, "I've often
heard of Janitor in a Drum, but
never a Canned Dean."
"Perhaps you soon shall,"
murmured the voice within the
tin somewhat sharply.
"I can't talk to you with that
armour on, you know," said
Alice, "Shall I help you off with
it?"
"Oh yes, by all means," said
the Dean. Alice pried off what
proved to be a rather large,
ill-fitting helmet.
"She thought she had never seen such an
earnest well-meaning bureacrat in her life.
He was dressed in ill-fitting armour and
carried a small box that he held
upside down."
"Now one can breathe more
easily," saiid the Dean, push
ing back his shaggy hair with
both hands, and turning to
Alice. She thought she had
never seen such an earnest
well-meaning bureaucrat in her
life. He was dressed in ill-fitting
armour, and carried a small box
that he held upside down.
"I see you've noticed my
little box," said the Dean with a
smile. "It's my own invention. I
use it to keep student petitions
in, and I turn it upside-down so
the rain can't get in."
"But, don't other things get
out?" asked Alice. "Don't you
know the lid's open?"
"Oh. No, I suppose I didn't. I
rather supposed that whatever
action we might take on them
would take awhile, so I thought
it best to protect them from the
elements. And now they've all
fallen out. Oh well, at least it
saves the trouble of telling
them,'no'," said the Dean.
"Please, sir," said Alice, "I
shoulcf like to make a request.
You see, the class I need
doesn't seem to be offered here
at all, ever. I thought I might
ask you about it."
The dog's life explored
By Robert Greenawalt
One of the most intriguing
course titles that appeared on
the schedule of course listings
last spring was IDS 401: Ecolo
gy of the Domestic Dog.
The "Dog Course," taught
this semester by Dr. Margaret
Young, has been an introduc
tion to the total world of dogs.
The course was designed to
develop the knowledge, atti
tudes, and skills that are neces
sary for people interested in
dogs
Seven areas were covered in
the course.
•"Dog nature and ancestry"
talked about the importance of
packs, denning, communica
"I'm afraid I haven't any
place to put your request," said
the Dean sadly. "That's the
way it goes at time. Rules are
rules, and so are boxes."
By this time Alice wondered
if it was worth the bothering.
"You are sad," the Dean said
in an anxious tone. "Let me
sing you a song to comfort
you."
"Is it very long?" asked
Alice, who had heard a great
deal of poetry that day.
"It's long," said the Dean,
"but it's quite beautiful And
besides, you haven't so very
long 'til the end of this thing
anyway. It's called, "I'll Tell
Thee Everything I Can", but it
doesn't always answer when it's
called. It's my own invention,
with a good deal of assistance
from the Alumni Association:
I'll tell thee everything I can:
There's little to relate.
I saw a onetime Guilford Crad
A-sitting on a gate
"Who are you Guilford Alum
nus?
How do you live?", I asked.
And his answer rattled round
my head,
Like Marbles in a glass.
He
grass groups
All in the dead of winter.
My work's on every album
too-
It's near the record's center.
I sell these unto men," he
said,
"Who sail down the Niagara;
And That's the way I get my
bread
And stave off the Pellagra."
But I was thinking of a way
To catch the mascot Quaker,
And shrink him to so small a
size
He'd fit in a salt shaker.
So having no reply to give,
I said to him, "Hey, Honey,"
"Come tell me how you live -
right now!
—And send the school some
money.
"It's rather pathetic", sighed
tion, and bonding in dogs and
dog relatives, such as the wolf.
•"Dogs as problems" em
phasized the distuptions, over
population and spread of di
seases often associated with
dogs. The problem of biting was
discussed.
•"Dogs and the law" talked
about the laws dealing specifi
cally with dogs and dog control.
"The biology of the dog",
"Dog training and learning",
"The dog in myth", and "Dog
human work relationships"
were also discussed
Several projects were as
signed to the course partici
pants. One was a service project
in which several class members
Alice, "but at the same time,
quite lacking in pathos."
"That is true," said the
Dean, dabbing at his dampened
eyes with a tin cuff, But I must
go on to a committee meeting."
"Wait!", exclaimed Alice,
suddenly distressed by the ac
cumulated chaos of the day.
"You CAN'T go now, you
haven't even heard my re
quest!", she said, clutching at
the Dean's metallic sleeve.
"I'm afraid I haven't time,"
he said, pulling away.
"But just listen, just a min
ute," pleaded Alice.
"No, no, no time," said the
Dean, whose arm seemed to be
getting somewhat longer and
thinner as she pulled. Alice
tugged a bit more: "You'll . .
have. . to make. . . an. . .
appointment .. ", said the
Dean in a fading voice.
As Alice pulled and tugged at
his arm, lights seemed to be
flashing on and off. The Dean's
arm grew much thinner and
knobbier and
—Alice awoke to find herself
at her library desk, turning her
lamp on and off at a furious
rate.
"Why," she murmured
sleepily, "I suppose it was just
a dream after all. At least it's
over, and I certainly shan't have
to have such nightmares while
I'm awake," she consoled her
self. She stretched and looked
about. Sure enough, there was
her paper, still before her and
still, she thought grimly, unfin
ished. She supposed she would
have to tend to that presently.
Suddenly, from behind the
stacks came a voice
"Oh dear! On dear! I shall be
late! Alice looked up to see a
student, albeit one with rather
large ears and a nasty overbite,
remove a small brown paper
bag from its knapsack.
Gentles, pray take no offence
Unless you think this tale
makes sense.
I've swiped too much from
Mr. Carroll,
Left my plot stretched o'er a
barrel.
Forced the rhyme and thrown
in puns:
Oh, I'll admit, it's overdone.
Reader, think it idle plunder
and
Doubt all malice in my Won
derland.
wrote brief programs to be aired
on the college radio station next
semester Another project was a
"hands-on" project in which
the students worked with dogs
during the semester. Examples
were teaching basic commands
to the dogs or socializing a
puppy.
The class observed two de
monstrations. First Mrs. Judy
Cranford demonstrated the skill
of retrieving on land and water
with "Fanny", her Chesapeake
Bay retriever In the other,
Lynn and Phil Moseley brought
their Siberian huskies to cam
pus to demonstrate a sled dog
team at work pulling a specially
built cart.
GUILFORDIAN, December 9, 1980 •-
Scenes from Great Sand Dunes National Monument, Colorado,
Seminar West, 1977.
" i
A seminars West slide show
will be held Tuesday night, Dec
9 at 7:30 in the Leuke Room of
Duke Hall All students who are
interested in going to this
The Piper is coming
By Joost De Witt
Editor, The Piper
Among Guilford's several
publications. The Piper seems
to occupy a rather obscure
place. Tucked away in a dark
corner of the publication suite is
a tiny office where editors have
struggled year after year to put
together this little magazine. I
say struggled because usually
they have had to practically beg
people to submit some of their
creative output.
The Piper is generally known
as "Guilford's literary maga
zine." It is more than that.
Granted fiction and poetry have
traditionally dominated the ma
gazine. However, the present
editor would like to emphasize
Pizza Hut
College Night!
Mondays and Tuesdays sto 10PM
ANY PIZZA
WITH COLLEGE LD. 600 College Road
Page three
summer's Seminar West to the
Grand Canyon should try to
attend Applications will be a
vailable at the slide show and
afterwards.
increasing the variety of mater
ial to be featured to include
artwork, essays about the seve
raJ forms of art (literature,
music, painting, photography,
etc.}, criticism and so on.
The editor cannot make the
magazine all by himself. It is
meant to be a representation of
the student's creative and criti
cal output
A meeting will be held at the
beginning of next semester, on
Tuesday, January 20, at 7:30 in
the publication suite. All are
encouraged to attend Ques
tions should be directed to Joost
De Witt or any member of the
publication board Submissions
should go in the envelope on the
door of the publications suite, or
to Box 17712