Newspapers / The Guilfordian (Greensboro, N.C.) / Feb. 10, 1981, edition 1 / Page 2
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Page two GUILFORPIAIM, February 10, 1981 Editorial Love on my shoulder By Dale Easley With Valentine's Day approaching, the obvious subject for an editorial is love. When I mentioned this to a friend, he suggested I write about something of which I was knowledgeable. However, since personal failures have little place in a newspaper, I will keep my experiences to myself and draw upon persons more knowledgeable than I. Who then might know the most about this important human interaction? The obvious answer popped into my mind advertisers. (Do you think this $25 toboggan will make Susie notice me? Put your money where your mouth is.) The way to true love seems intimately tied to fresher teeth and whiter breath, or something to that effect. Or maybe love has mpre to do with atmosphere. Chasing a girl through the canals of Venice in a speedboat with a bottle of wine is enough to make anyone fall in love. However, the last girl to whom I offered any wine, ended up (after I picked her up off the floor) with her head on my shoulder saying she felt like throwing up It hardly made for an intimate evening. But alas, I promised not to talk of my personal experiences. I could return to advertising, but I find a confusion between love and lust, a distinction with which I already have enough trouble. If I only knew what true love was. It is time to pull out the master of love for consultation. Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate: ,Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, And summer's lease hath all to short a date: Sometimes too hot the eye of heaven shines, And often is his gold complexion dimmed; And every fair from fair sometime declines, By chance, or nature's changing .course untrimmed; But thy eternal summer shall not fade. Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest, Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade, When in eternal lines to time thou growest; So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see. So long lives this, and this gives life to thee. Already inspiration drives to find myself a cutie and live happily ever after. However, reality drags me back down. A friend of mine recently told me that when she met the man she now loves, she didn't know whether she was attracted or repulsed. As David Jewett commented in a cartoon, "They're mostly sardines or mackerel. I hanker after chicken of the sea." Unfortunately, David missed something that dear old Bill saw, a possible key to true love: My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun; Coral is far more red than her lips' red; If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun; If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head. I have seen roses damask'd, red and white, But no such roses see I in her cheeks, And some perfumes there is more delight Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks. I love to hear her speak, yet well I know That music hath a far more pleasing sound. I grant I never saw a goddess go; My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground: And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare As any she belied with false compare. Happy Valentine's Day. Editors Dole Eosley, Jim Shields News editor Barbara Phillips Features editor John Mottern loyout editors Steve Harvey, Susan Ide Sports editor Mike Van Wagner Business manager Mary Merritt Circulation Frank Merritt, Mary Merritt Copy editor Carolyn Welty Notebook editor Sue Hubley Writers Edwin Bass, Stan Givens, Isa Cheren, Mark Gurley The Guilfordian reserves the right to edit all articles, letters, and artwork for taste, veracity, and length. The dead line for all copy is 3:00 p.m. on Satur day preceding the Tuesday of publication. Material may be left on the office door in upstairs Founders, or mailed to Box 17717. The opinions expressed by the staff ore their own and not necessarily those of the paper or of Guilford College. Chain saws in the boardroom A column by O.L. Backer I was walking through open woodland, winter sunlight fil tering overhead through bare branches. It may have been especially silent, but you expect that in nature's off-season. I had just paused to look down at and study a young rattlesnake plant. My attention was absorb ed, and they took me easily. A hobnailed boot flashed down on the tiny plant, crushing it. They were all around me, and the cold air filled with a coughing roar as their chain saws cranked to deadly life. I nearly panicked, almost un leashing a kick at the nearest hideous grin barely visible on a stocking-covered face. Stopping in time, I realized that was what they wanted me to do. I could hear the story: "Of ficer, we were cutting timber for our grandmother's sawmill when this maneyac came run ning outa the bushes, foamin' at the mouth and screaming about 'Mother Earth.' It was him or us, officer. We had to cut him into 37 pieces before he stopped trying to rip our throats out." No, it would not do to give them the excuse. Did I detect disappointment in their atti tudes, smoking saws at the ready? The obvious leader, a squat man with an eye-patch, grunted "He's the one. Take him downstairs, boys." I knew the grim implications of having seen his uncovered face. He did not expect me to be able to identify him later. A trapdoor opened from its clever disguise as a sewer line manhole, and I was pushed ahead of them down the steps. I Hettera to tl|e f&itor All Letters must be submitted to the CuHfordian at Box 17717 by HC; ; :". Friday night, and should be no k>n*er than 200 words. Names may • ' '"'""be withheld if requested by the author in person or in writing. Thank you To the Cuilford community: We wish to thank you for the planning and work that went into making the inauguration activities a success. Your sup port and enjoyment meant a great deal to us. Sincerely, Bev & Bill Rogers Fraunholtz wrong Dear Editor, As a former player for Jack Jensen, I feel a strong desire to respond to Peter Fraunholtz's recent article ("Quakers drop eleventh," Feb. 3, 1981). Throughout the years I played organized basketball, I came to realize and appreciate the pres sure a coach endures to main tain a winning tradition. What credibility does a student have to question a coach who has experienced the success that Jensen has? In addition, it is hardly imaginable that anyone who follows collegiate sports would compare strategies used by coaches in the NCAA Di vision I with those in the NAIA. At the bottom waited a large office filled with a florescent glare. Behind a mahogany and chromium desk sat a pale entity in a dark blue three-piece suit, flanked by four standing junior executive types. After a long moment's silence, his impas sive voice said, "I hope you won't make this any more difficult than necessary, Mr. I began desperately, "I'll have you know it's Reverend Backer. My con gregation will miss me, I have a ser vice starting in 20 minutes, all about the healing wonders of plutonium. . . Backer." I began desperately, "I'll have you know it's Reverend Backer. My congregation will miss me, I have a service starting in 20 minutes, all about the healing wonders of plu tonium . . . " He cut me off with an icy stare, seemingly annoyed at having to speak further. "Mr. Backer, you are well aware that your support for excessive en vironmental regulations and wasteful non-development of certain 'park' lands has incur red substantial penalties." "No!" I shrieked. "I have a column to write! If it's not turned in there'll be a big hole on page two, and the editors will never forgive me-" The stone face shook slowly It is my opinion that at no time this year or in past years has Jack-Jensen's performance as a coach warranted such unjustified and biased reporting as presented by our Cuilfor dian. I feel that if in the future anybody wants to express his opinion he should do so on the the editorial page. Coach Jen sen is a proven winner and regardless of what happened or what will happen, he will con tinue to be such to those who are knowledgeable and fully aware of the circumstances involved. Sincerely, Charlie Welborn Jensen a winner Dear Editor, Ever since Mr. Fraunholtz's article appeared, all I have heard is that it is a great piece of literature. This I do not deny, though I would quickly point out that fiction is literature also, and it often makes good read ing, just as Mr. Fraunholtz's story does. I do not feel that Mr. Fraun holtz, whose basketball experi ence consists ot four years of high school basketball, is quali from side to side. "Take him to the Board Room." I turned to fight, but I knew it was already too late. The saws were coming closer, closer. . . . Do you believe that? No? That's just as well, because not a word of it is true. The truth, so far as it can be identified, is that I gave up on last week's column in mid-page, after it had turned into a rather nasty explanation of why it's okay to be paranoid about Ronald Reagan. Decorum pro hibited my turning it in to be printed. Decorum and the libel laws. That column was approaching too close to unmitigated reality. And political reality these days can be too grim for consumption unless it is cut with a healthy dose of satire and twisted humor. Speaking of twisted humor, last week's Presidential Ad dress on Inflation and Its Cure comes to mind. It was funny enough on its own l'm sure that Ronnie's little charts (tax cuts + increased spending = ba lanced budget) had 90% of continued on page 6 fied to criticize the coaching manuevers of a man who is known as one of the best basketball minds in the NAIA. Maybe Coach Jensen's refusal to use players other than his most experienced and proven players did cause him to lose the Pembroke game, but I would like to remind readers that hind-sight is always 20/20. Also Mr. Fraunholtz had the audacity to compare Coach Jensen with Dean Smith. The only thing that Jensen and Smith have in common is that they are both very good coaches. I don't know where Mr. Fraunholtz is from, but if he followed Carolina basketball as well as I have, he would not have made that assinine state ment about Smith using a lot of players. Dean Smith has never used nine players extensively except for a couple of seasons when he was incredibly deep in players. I agree with Mr. Fraunholtz, Coach Jensen does have a fine record. One comparable to Dean Smith's. Yet there is one difference. Jack Jensen has continued on page 3
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