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Bgj^iK 5
By Janice Lynch
As yet another spring makes its
way out of frozen earth, I have
made a monumentous decision in
my life, one which will alter my
very being in the days and mon
ths to come. Ultimately, life will
be much easier.
This decision has been
precipitated by the arrival of spr
ing, by the bringing down from
boxes last year's dresses and
bathing suits. The decision has
been determined after wondering
whether I should wear a bikini
and settling on a one piece for
fear the roll of my stomach might
abscure the bikini bottoms.
Sewer City
By City Sewer
The City's Water and Sewer
personnel are doing the annual
maintenance of the water main
lines in the Northwest area of
Greensboro. The flushing of
these feeder main water lines
Grilled in grill room
Inflation is a wonderful thing. It is a convenient excuse for almost
any type of consumer exploitation. Twenty percent interest rates, cost
adjustment clauses, and "Doug's Do Me A Favor" are just a few very
good examples of this.
Last year, when all we had was the "Grill Room", it was possible to
get a grilled ham and cheese sandwich, chips, and a coke on the I.D.
exchange plan. Now, undoubtably due to inflation, it's possible to get
the same meal with the I.D. exchange and forty cents. (These figures
do not include sales tax.) Assuming that last year's I.D. exchange was
also for $1.75 worth of food, the percentage of cost increase is roughly
23%. this is a "massive,power move" considering that the inflation
rate is usually somewhere in the mid-teens.
One cannot really complain, however. After all when you go out to a
nice restuarant with a young lady you're really only paying for the at
mosphere, and the atmosphere in the "Grill Room" has really chang
ed drastically. They've hung all types of old things on the wall, install
ed some garbage can/hutches, a big cabinet, and two fans. Holy cow,
what more could you ask for? A beer tap, maybe, but that would be a
>it much.
Personally, I have no sympathy for those who complain about the
"Grill Room's" prices. They should have gone to the cafeteria and suf
fered communally along with everyone else. Even if they have a
legitimate excuse for missing dinner they could at least of bummed
two dollars off a friend and gone to McDonalds. They'd definitely eat
better.
From the fogies
"Eat and enjoy": Down with diets
The decision is simple-NO
MORE DIETS, No more hunger,
no more peculiar combinations of
vegetables and meat. No more
calorie counting. No more high
protein-low carbohydrate wor
ries for me. Good-bye Dr. Atkins.
Farewell Scarsdale. Turn the
channel when Richard Simmons
bounds across the screen. No
more denial-no more yearning to
be a size five.
I have been on the diet merry
go-round since I turned thirteen.
At nineteen this means that a
third of my life has been spent liv
ing in the guilt that comes after
devouring a Swensen's double
scoop peanut butter and caramel
turtle fudge ice cream cone. Ful
ly one third of my life has been
spent drinking warm water with
lemons and munching carrots
when I should have been reveling
in Coke and M&M's.
The diets have been frequent
and diverse. In eigth grade all 5
may cause a temporary
discoloration of the water in the
Northwest area. It is suggested
that Northwest area residents
check their water prior to use.
Call the Water and Sewer
Maintenance Division, 373-2033, if
you are experiencing any unusual
problems.
By Dave Loring
feet, 85 pounds of me was sustain
ed by Total cereal and peanut
butter toast-breakfast, lunch,
and dinner. At sixteen I worked in
an ice cream store and flourished
skinnily on three ice cream cones
a day. Most recently I have given
up eating lunch and dinner. No
longer though-it is time to binge,
splurge and savor cheesecake on
the tip of my tongue.
I have one dozen peanut butter
cups and a bag of M&M's; a
brand new jar of peanut butter
and a box of Girl Scout cookies.
Album Review
Doc Holliday stuck on cycles
By Bernie Dichinson
Doc Holliday is a North
Carolina-based Southern Rock
band which has recently gained
some national attention with
their popular FM hit "Magic Mid
night." It was released on their
first album in 1981 after being
together for almost a decade
under the extinct name of Roun
dhouse.
Currently, Doc Holliday has
released their second album en
titled Doc Holliday Rides Again .
. ..which as to be expected from
the Southern Rock cliched bands,
follows the traditional Southern
styled roots found in Lynyrd
Skyrnyrd, Charlie Daniel's Band,
and other Southern band's music.
Doc Hollliday has seemingly at
tempted to disguise the simple
Southern lifestyle on the album
cover and in two of the album's
songs "Last Ride" and "Hot
Ride".
Unfortunately, the emphasis in
the Southern rock scene con
tinues to remain narcissistic in
respect to Southern society to the
rest of the country. Still whist
ling "Dixie" and waving the
emblem of defiance (The Con
federate Flag), Doc Holliday
follows very closely to the
mainstream of Southern rock.
"Southern Man," currently an
FM favorite from Doc Holliday's
second effort, is clearly an
answer to the resented question
posed by Neil Young in his song
entitled "Southern Man." Neil
Young's question is simply "How
long" before "Southern change
gonna come?"
Obviously, tradition is at the
root of Southern rock. Doc Holli
day exemplifies this point further
by lines like "You can take me
out of the country - but I'll always
be a country boy" from the song
entitled "Good Boy Gone Bad."
Moreover, the song entitled
Carrots, cottage cheese and
celery cannot compete.
Mayberry's is a five minute walk
from the dorm and the cafeteria's
brussel sprouts are nothing in
comparison. Oh-my sweet tooth
is singing and my belt is loosen
ed. There is something healthy
and solid about by appetite, joy at
burning the Washington apple
Diet.
Look-there are no calories on
Sunday or any other day when
one must attend calculus. There
"Lonesome Guitar" relays the
essence of Southern prejudice
with lines like "the Battle of the
Union and the Rebel Gray - How
they burnt down Atlanta - You'll
never drive that memory out of
me."
Many of the cuts sound so clich
ed that you would almost think
you were listening to a K-tel
record hosting new material by a
large range of artists. For exam
ple, "Lonesome Guitar" could
easily be mistaken for an Outlaw
tune. Furthermore, "Doin' It
Again" sounds distinctly like
Eric Clapton while Bruce
Brookshire, Doc Holliday's
vocalist, could easily pass for a
hoarse Bob Seger in the song
"Hot Rod."
I^^Hf
Guilfordlan, March 26, 1982
are no calories if the phone bill is
more than sls. If you have a ten
page paper due in an hour, treat
yourself to a banana split.
One night, after refusing a
piece of my grandmother's
cheesecake, I was offered this
morsel of wisdom--"Skinny peo
ple make the world miserable for
the rest of us, always bellyaching
about being skinny. Eat and en
joy"
As Root Boy Slim used to sing,
"Dare to be Fat."
Unfortunately, Doc Holliday
Rides Again . . can offer nothing
new to the rock industry that
doesn't already exist. Today's
music is clearly stale and
stagnated beyond words, par
ticularly in the Southern rock
style. I'm waiting for a new light
to be cast on the Southern rock in
dustry which will not produce
carbon copies of the likes of
Lynyrd Skynyrd, but will attempt
to reach new directions of in
spiration found in the South. Cer
tainly, progress has taken place
in the Southern lifestyle, but un
fortunately, its music continues
to hold a firm grip to the tradi
tional mode of simplicity and
psychologically rooted ignorance
which is the result of lamenting
about the past.