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Entertainment
Wixed-Up Mords
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by Iris Velvin
Entertainment Editor
A spoonerism is not something
edible. It is not an obscure
religious cult, nor is it a position
from the Kama Sutra. In fact,
there are a lot of things a
spoonerism is not. If you know
what it is you certainly don't need
a definition, and if you don't
know, you probably don't care.
However, in true academic tradi
tion, I will now proceed to provide
both the needless and the
careless with another useless ex
planation. Formally defined a
spoonerism is an interchange of
sounds in two or more words,
such as switching the beginning
consonants in a phrase. Quite
simply, its getting your mords
wixed.
Spoonerisms are sometimes
unintentional and nonsensical,
but they are also often the basis
of good (or bad) puns. For exam
ple in the 1920'5, a rich young
heiress created a scandal by elop
ing from a Vassar dormitory and
refusing to return to her class.
This prompted one member of
the literary Algonquin Round
Table to observe that the young
lady had "put her heart before
the course."
Another incident concerns a
brilliant scientist who succeeded
in cloning himself. He took the
clone as an exhibit to a conven
tion he was invited to address,
Understanding
Media
Upon returning to Guilford following the recent lengthy break, I was
faced with a culture shock in a retroactive direction. After weeks of
near-constant cable-TV viewing and the multitude of choices offered
thereby, it was disconcerting to be limited to those channels afforded
here by the public airwaves. The free time provided (because there
seems to be nothing to watch) has been helpful in generating some
thoughts about the "Video Era" in which we find ourselves.
Television in past years has been cited often as the major
homogenizing influence in modern American culture. This assump
tion, however, is becoming increasingly less true, as we see the advent
of "specialty" networks-i.e., ESPN (all-sports network), Arts
(cultural programming), CNN (all news) and so on. Thus, no longer
must one be subject to the whim of the masses and be forced to endure
the trash propogated by the networks during "prime time." There tru
ly is "something for everyone."
But why is this programming available only now? Cable technology
has existed for many years, but only in the last ten (liberal estimate)
has it been exploited in even a minimum sense. Television reinforced
the cultural base of the industrial revolution and factory labor - syn
cronization (everyone watches the same thing at the same time, hence
"prime time"), standardization (all shows seemed to fit into ready
made formats) and rigid structural /temporal integrity (everything
from commercials to movies - "edited for television" - were forced to
fit into a rigid time pattern).
These ideas, perfect for the factory, are no longer relevant in light of
the disintegration of American industrial society. Nine-to-five is ob
solete, individualization reigns, and rigidity is no longer a guide for
personal time structures. Cable merely reflects these changes
programs can be shown at various times to accommodate a variety of
viewers; programs geared for small audience groups are economical
ly feasible, and, consequently, the rigid structure inherent in network
TV (I used to tell time by the tube) is no longer necessary or even
desirable.
It is nearly impossible to predict with accuracy the future of video in
America. However, the general trend towards a greater variety of
choices is clear. Thus, it challenges us to develop the critical faculties
to determine wisely the selections for our viewing pleasure - and pro
fit.
but during his lecture the clone
persisted in interrupting the
discourse with a stream of terri
ble profanity, causing much em
barrassment to the scientist.
Finally, after a particularly of
fensive tirade by the clone the
scientist could stand it no longer,
and threw the clone out of the
third-story window. He was im
mediately arrested, and charged
with - what else? making an
obscene clone fall.
I think my favorite spoonerism
(i.e., the worst I've heard yet) is
the old story about the alcoholic
baseball pitcher named Mil
Famey who got drunk on beer
and pitched so wildly that he
walked the other team's players
around the bases and caused his
own team to lose the game. So
meone asked about the empty
beer cans, and a member of the
winning team explained "that's
ODD BODKINS By Dan O'Neill
'—^hronicle"Publishing C
by Dan Pleasant
Killer Correspondent
the beer that made Mil Famey
walk us."
Spoonerisms were named for
Reverand W.A. Spooner and
English professor at Oxford in
the early 1900's, for reasons not
entirely clear to me. I suppose
getting a word named after you is
one of the honors some English
professors dream of - I am now
accepting definitions of
O'Brienisms, Beharisms,
Gutsellisms
Record
Time
by Trish Kelley
Special Writer
Monkey's Head in the corner of
the Room Ace of Hearts Records.
Monkey's Head in the corner of
the Room is an impressive
debut album from the Neats, a
relatively new band from Boston.
The Southwestern Company is
already hiring students for
SUMMER JOBS
in its 115 th year of operation. Our
sales & management training
program is perhaps the best in the
nation, and our students last year
averaged nearly S4OOO in summer
earnings. For information write:
SUMMER JOBS, Box 11202,
Winston-Salem, N.C. 27106
The Neats have a musical style
reminiscent of late 60's pop
bands, such as the Grassroots
and Credence Clear Water
Revival. That these are their
roots is proved by Eric Martin's
vocals and Jerry Channell's and
Terry Hanley's work on bass and
drums, respectively.
The songs are a great combina
tion of ringing guitars with
upbeat rhythms, and intelligent
lyrics. On songs such as "Red
and Grey," and "Lies," one
hears the laments of life love and
youth, but one can also unders
tand how the upbeat music
reflects that despite sadness,
there is also happiness and hope
in life.
In the past, Greensboro has
seen performances by other
Bostonian bands, such as Human
Sexual Response, and Mission of
Burma. The Neats are further
proof that new music is alive and
well and growing in Boston.
Richard W. Harte, who also
produces Mission of Burma, has
done an extremely good job on
this record, simply by not doing
too much. One of the problems
with a lot of new music is over
production in the studio, to the
point that a band can't pull off the
desired sound on stage. However,
Monkey's Head in the Corner of
the Room has that raw edged
sound that can be very appealing
to listeners.