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Guilford to Add New Sport Set to Begin 1991-92 School Year
Elizabeth Ard
Staff Writer
Guilford College announced last week
that a 13th sport, the Modem Biathlon, will
be added for intercollegiate competition
beginning in the fall of 1991. Assistant
Athletic Director A.C. "Riley" Walker
made the announcement at a noon press
conference last Tuesday in the absence of
Athletic Director Phillip Roach, who has
given much of the public relations respon
sibilities over to Walker to help him in his
internship.
"Guilford College sportsfans will find
the Modern Biathlon to be a sport at which
they can expect national recognition from
the outset," said Walker.
The Modern Biathlon is comprised of
two activities in which Guilford students
already hold extreme prowess, as the event
combines both mental and physical talent
The first segment of the competition is a
five-mile barefoot frolic. Either clothed or
naked, the participants hurry through the
course which is lined with such obstacles
as busy cafeterias or classroom lectures.
The second part of the Modern Biathlon
is a free-for-all complaint session, where
the participants continually complain about
things which they know nothing about
until the judge, a person who is forced to
listen, eventually tells them that they are
correct. The culmination of the event
takes place outdoors, as each participant
runs up to a tree and hugs it for five
minutes.
The sport of Modern Biathlon is played
on nearly every college campus in the
United States, and is sanctioned by NOW
and Greenpeace along with the NCAA.
The Quakers will also be eligible for cham
pionship consideration by standards set
forth by the Old Dominion Athletic Con
ference, in which 11-member institutions
currently are fielding teams. Hampden-
Sydney does not have a team due to its
A CLOSER LOOK
■Hra
8
THE GOOFORDIAN April 1, 1991
w
The Guilford Modern Biathlon squad practices its five-mile barefoot
frolic. The team has shaved 1:03 off its average pace in the event since
its first practice in December/photo by Dusty Lenscap
male-female ratio, but hopes to persuade
the ODAC to grant them an injunction to
sanction a club team.
Walker said a head coach has not yet
been named for the newest Quaker squad,
Guilford to Host '9B Olympics
in new Quakerdome
>- continued from page 7
venture is just a tribute to this institution."
While the medal rounds of the indoor
games at the '9B Winter Olympics will be
held in the Greensboro Coliseum, the early
hockey matches and figure skating com
petitions will be held in Guilford's Quak
erdome. The dome's retractable roof will
be opened for speed-skating events,
Andrew Bare
Modern Biathlete
Favorite Food —Granola
Favorite TV Show —National
Geographic Explorer
Ideal Date —To sit next to a tree
and compose lines of poetry while
sharing the experience with my
eternal lifemate.
Favorite Place —Woodstock. I
wasn't there, but I heard it was a
good trip.
Person Most Admired —A tie
between Abbie Hoffman and
Sinead O'Connor.
but that a list of prospective candidates has
been compiled, prompting the Board of
Trustees to raise tuition another 9.5 per
cent Noted names on the list include for
mer Director of College Relations Jon Pres
The XX Winter Olynpics
The Greensboro Games
QjxjP
prompting the Board of Trustees to raise
tuition another 9.5 percent.
"The Quakerdome should bring Guilford
athletics to another level," Roach said.
"This creates not only more interest in our
sports programs, but our school, too. And
you know, with the viewing audience that
we will reach... it's just phenomenal how
prestigious this will make Guilford Col
lege."
The Quakerdome, which is scheduled to
be ready by fall 1992, will be built directly
over Guilford's pond, to minimalize envi
ronmental damage caused by extensive
construction.
The stadium seating capacity is pro
jected to be about 24,000. The dome will
be equipped to hold baseball, basketball,
football, lacrosse, rugby, soccer, tennis,
volleyball and ice events as well as a health
club and a vegetarian restaurant.
No college official was available for
comment on the cost of the dome and its ef
fect on tuition increases.
tage, Patty Hearst, Jerry Garcia and Aca
demic Dean Sam "Fumin"' Schuman.
Said one faculty member who asked not
to be identified, "I can't believe that they
are adding more sports here at Guilford.
But at least this one won't require its ath
letes to bathe on a regular basis."
As for off-campus recruiting of the
Modern Biathletes, a source said that "there
are enough well-qualified candidates for
the new team already on campus, enough
to last at least 10 years."
Tark To
Take UNLV
Squad to
the NBA
Butch Cassidy
and Sundance
Ex-UNLV head basketball coach
Jerry Tarkanian has agreed to head
the newest NBA expansion team,
based in Las Vegas, beginning next
season, provided that he can main
tain the squad that he led to the 1991
NCAA Final Four.
"There was a lot of talk this year
about us being the best college team
ever," said Tarkanian. "I want to
show everybody what we can do
against real competition. The NBA
has some talented teams. Maybe we
can compete—we'll see."
NBA Commissioner David Stern
welcomed Tarkanian to the league
vis satellite in his living room Mon
day morning, prompting the Board
of Trustees to raise tuition another
9.5 percent.
"Jerry, I couldn't have asked for a
more honest guy to add to our NBA
family," said Stern. "I will allow you
to keep the roster that you had at
UNLV, but that towel must go.
Overall, Jerry, I'm just tickled to
have you join us."
Stern later said that his decision to
ban towel-biting from NBA games
was made "to protect the integrity of
the league."
Anonymous sources revealed that
Tarkanian's first act as coach of the
Sharks, as his team's nickname is to
be, involves buying players from
other NBA franchises.
"It'd be nice to bring Armon Gil
liam and Gerald Paddio back into the
family," said Tarkanian.
No word as of yet on the specifics
of Tarkanian's acquisition attempts.