4
THE GUILFORD lAN
A Modest Proposal
Ben Rose
Staff Writer
My dear readers, it is once again lime for
"As Guilford Turns," the continuing saga of
a boy tired from a week of anxiety and
pressure, blowing off steam about a multi
tude of subjects. This week we will recap
and see where we stand. Thus far, I have
covered homophobia, sexual harassment
policies, happiness, keg policies and some
more about homophobia. Today I wish to
address loneliness. We are a small campus,
and yet for our size we have a disproportion
ately large number of lonely people here.
Why is this? What is it we need? I have
considered several plans of attack.
First of all, I believe that The Guilford
ian is missing a vital section and potential
moneymaker. That would be the personal
advertisements. If students could place a 35
word add for $2 and an extra 50 cents for
each additional 15 words, then perhaps
more people could be honest and open about
what really makes them tick. Beside the fact
that it would help curb loneliness by pro
moting dating relationships, it could make a
great deal of money for The Guilfordian.
The second idea I have is to follow these
instructions:
1. Walk up to your best friend, and place
your arms around his or her abdominal area.
2. Squeeze tightly. 3. Utter the following
phrase "I love you no matter what, simply
because you are you." Add as much emo
tion as the situation necessitates. Do this
B ""'WHH^SSN
often; also, try it on people you would like
to get to know better.
The final idea I have is to consider that
there is a Loving God in this world, and he
is more than willing to listen to all your
troubles. He loves you unconditionally,
and he will never leavie you alone. If that
idea fails to comfort your loneliness, then
I suppose nothing ever will.
I have been hearing a lot of people tell
me that they like my work because it
trashes this or that, or because it is unfeel
ing. I am hurt by this. I do not like the fact
that people are missing my point. Yes, I
do yell a lot. Yes, I tell it like it is. Yes,
I pull no punches. But get this into your
heads please, I AM ASKING YOU ALL
TO LOVE EACH OTHER! That is my
main point. If we can not love one
another, then all the change in the world
does not mean a blessed thing because
we will all be lonely. Who cares if we
have no homophobia, but people still
hate each other? Who cares if we have
awesome keg policies and sexual harass
ment policies, but everyone is devoid of
love? Look I am not asking much, just
try to love people around this place.
Give a few hugs, and let people know
they are loved no matter what, by nature
of who they are—nothing else and
that they do not need to be lonely any
longer. I felt that I should make myself
clearer so that people would stop miss
ing my point.
Perspectives
Thanksgiving message
>• continued from page 2
grandfather's sage advice to each of his
grandchildren: "Remember, child, you
cannot be a good Quaker and a good Demo
crat at the same time!"
When Roosevelt had the Thanksgiving
holiday officially moved from earlier in the
month to the fourth Thursday, that sealed
itsfateinmyfamily'sopinion. Our Thanks
giving celebration was always delayed un
til Sunday.
Much has changed since those provin
cial days on the farm, and for that I am
thankful. For those who remained on the
farm, life has been made easier and more
flexible by technological advances. The
hard preparation of the Thanksgiving feast
in the kitchen has even been simplified with
the advent of microwaves and new conve
nience foods. Social changes in the past
decades have even brought about more
equitably shared responsibilities in the
kitchen. Some members of my family are
even registered Democrats!
My Thanksgiving this year goes deeper
than these superficial blessings, however.
Of course, I am grateful for those things we
should all be grateful for: theearth'sbounty
and the hard work of those who produce it
and seek to preserve it; growing move
ments for world peace and cooperation; the
repudiation to the politics of hatred and
bigotry; 1 ife itself and the divine laws which
undergird it.
Illegal
>- continued from page 3
As people become more addicted to drugs,
as they inevitably will after regularly using
them, they will be unable to refrain from
them for any given period. They will be
constantly under the influence of drugs. High
ways will be full of cars operated by druggies,
work places unsafe due to being loaded with
druggies, inner city ghettos will be even
more under the influence of drugs due to easy
accessibility.
This country will be full of irritable, schizo
phrenic people, having far out legalized acid
trips, and who are prone to violence on the
slightest provocation, a side effect of drugs.
Thus the crime problem we initially tried to
solve through drug legalization will return
many times stronger.
In the attempt to legalize drugs, people
Writers Needed
Death Penalty Forum
Contact:
Chris Ward x 3293
November 25, 1991
Beyond these"generic" platitudes,
however, I am profoundly grateful for
what I was given on that small farm in
Indiana. No, not an idolatrous affection
for hoops or a loathing of "Demon-crats"
(I have never voted for a Republican
presidential candidate; forgive me,grand
father!). Rather I am moved almost to
tears for the gift given me by those pious,
hard-working folks back home. A firm
grounding in the moral principles of reli
gious faith, peppered with the Quaker
caveat that religion is more a way of life
than a set of beliefs, preserved me from
the excesses of others in my generation. I
never got caught up in alcohol or other
drugs; I was able to avoid the time bomb
of the sexual revolution; I was taught to
respect others as children of God, and so
I did not go off to kill them in Vietnam or
vilify them for holding different beliefs.
Just like life on the farm, I have
changed a great deal since my childhood,
but this Thanksgiving, as I sit down to a
Thursday meal, followed by a marathon
of football games on the tube, (once I help
with the dishes!) I will celebrate some
things that have not changed: the firm
ness of the foundations given me, the
constancy of God's Presence in all sys
tems of the world, and the intimations of
that Presence in the love of family and
friends.
May the blessings that give rise to
thanksgiving be yours, as well.
often ignore long- term implications, while
envisioning a crimeless, Utopian world.
Sure, let's legalize all acts which are cur
rently criminal, in that way there will tech
nically be no crime and the police can go on
vacation. If this happens, crime will only
multiply, as there is nothing restricting its
causes.
Even if we toy with the legalization of
drugs, we can never alter theireffects, which
will eventually dominate society and en
slave us all, either directly or indirectly, to
our and others' inner cravings.
The scary part is that all this will be legal
if drugs are legalized. Who will truly be
practicing the freedom of action we ini
tially set out to gain through the legaliza
tion of drugs?