Newspapers / The Guilfordian (Greensboro, N.C.) / Feb. 7, 1992, edition 1 / Page 9
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February 7,1992 Nancy's N Future frets Nancy Benson Personnel Manager Since the dawning of senior year, resumd writing and cuticle-biting have taken up a grand portion of my leisure time. Too often the present is so consuming that one may ignore or deny the future. Not I. Lately I have been bombarded with questions re garding the future. These questions force me to acknowledge the inevitable. More and more inquiring minds ask, "Isn't this your last semester? What are your plans after graduation? Have you started inter viewing yet?" These questions shoot from every direction. Don't these inquisitors know how hard it is for me to concentrate on my studies, friends, last Guilford moments and life as a whole without com ments like, "Oh, an English major? What are you going to do with that....teach?" Can't they see in my reddened face that the future constantly breathes its fiery va pors down my back? I tried to keep my cool this semester. I sought help in the Career Development Cen ter. I handed out my letters of recommenda tion. I even attended the Greater Greens boro Job Fair. The constant requests for my career and life development updates make my stomach queasy and my eyes teary. Luckily, for awhile, I devised what I thought was a sure escape from these banal, grilling periods. Each time someone asked me about my future plans, I fabricated a captivating plan to quench their questioning mind. The reply depends upon my mood. "I have been chosen as one of the five Ameri can, English majors in the continental United States to walk on the moon and record my impressions of its surface." Or "I'll be designing manhole covers in Alabama." Another one of my favorites is, "The Balti more Aquarium has asked me to join their Ichthyological Identification team." After speaking with my best friend from home Tina, a slender, very stylish graphic arts major, I found that she practices this technique herself. The only difference be tween our fabricating techniques is that she uses the same answer every time. When approached with a question regarding her future, she tosses her long, flowing auburn hair back and replies, "I'm going to work at the WaWa." For those of you who have never had the WaWa experience, it's a con venience store like the Circle K or Wilco. Usually then she takes a long drag from her cigarette (Tina is always smoking) and seri ously asks, "Would you like cream or sugar? Hard or soft pack?" Simply by having a serious face and using a lot of hand gestures this future WaWa woman could convince people of anything. I think that's the key. For awhile I dabbled in answers like, "I plan to join the nunnery." However, keeping a straight face proved to be more difficult than I imagined. As soon as my face wrinkled with laughter, I knew I needed to turn to something more bizarre. Unfortunately my amusement was halted. On the eve of my Garden State New Year, I sat at a party next to Christina Lambardoasi (a friend of a friend) with whom I had not previously spoken. My favorite reply when approached about my future plans had be come, "I am going to be a ballerina." She asked. I answered. I had used it one too many times. Usually, using this reply would cause the inquirer to look a little baffled and try to remain polite while changing the sub ject Hah! I though I'd be able to slip by. Horrifyingly though, this Christina was a ■ ballerina. Great! How "I should have sensed the danger! I should have seen the collision of truths in the coming. Kaboom!" the coming. Kaboom! My slipping caused me to be slammed. Just my luck. She's a ballerina in Miami. Hooray. It became painfully obvious as I sat next to this ninety pound, youthful strumpet with the pointed toes and neatly perched bun that we were in no way comparable. Maybe we are both bipedal, but that's the extent of it. O.K. There arc times when in the privacy of the Benson home I have imitated my favorite Solid Gold dancer (Darcell), but I'd never go public. I immediately wished to swallow my words. I tried with all of my mental prowess to make myself invisible. Of course that didn't work. How could I let deception lead me to this? How could I fib so quickly without testing the waters first? I should have just told her I planned to be the Princess of Wales because Lady Di is vacationing. Oh please. What a fool I was. What if she had asked me to do a pirouette? What if she said, "Oh I have an extra tu-tu, let's do a duet in the kitchen." I would be in sad shape. I would have to fake an injury and start scream ing, "Help, my ankle is twisted, I've rup tured my spleen!" For a split moment I questioned my next move. Should I move the furniture and do a split? Should I pretend I am suddenly mute and grab my throat in utter surprise? I paused for a moment. I collected myself and waited in fear for her response. She asked in a soft tone and boarding- school lisp, "Did you say you are going to be a ballerina?" I quickly replied, "Oh, no. I said, 'So you're a ballerina?"' Brilliant save, Nan. I couldn't Features was I supposed to know? She appeared to be just another stranger to slip from without ha ving to dis cuss my true, half baked, unclear, multi faceted plans. I should have sensed the danger! I should have seen the collision of truths in believe it Now I was a double liar. Now I really had my paved my way to hell with my slimy tongue. Luckily she went for it She proceeded to tell me all about her studio, her agent and all of the happy horseshit which being a balle rina entails. Needless to say, I haven't fabricated any future plans since then. Now I just ask the askers if they have half an hour orsoandl spell it out for them. Imustadmit, however, that it was quite exciting to think of myself as a moonwalking, ichthyologist ballerina. This Week at a Glance Feb. 10 to Feb. 17 DAY/DATE TIME EVENT PLACE Monday, 10 Lunch/Dinner Cookie Sale Founders Lobby Lunch/Dinner Carnation Sale Founders Lobby Noon-1 p.m. Committee "W" Meeting Dana Lounge 2:30-4 p.m. Faculty Study Group Boren Lounge 9-10:30 p.m. General Union Meeting Commons Tuesday, 11 Lunch/Dinner Carnation Sale Founders Lobby 3:30-5 p.m. Career Development Dana Lounge Interviewing Workshop 5:15-6 p.m. Episcopal Holy Eucharist Moon Room 7:30-10:30 p.m. NCSL Debate Gallery 8:30-11 p.m. FCA Meeting Boren Lounge 9-10 p.m. Exploratory Bible Study Founders 203 A Wednesday, 12 Lunch/Dinner Carnation Sale Founders Lobby 2:30-4 p.m. Faculty Meeting Moon Room 2:30-4 p.m. Senate Meeting Boren Lounge 4-5:30 p.m. SRC Meeting Boren Lounge 5:30-6:30 p.m. Lecture "Eyes on the Price" Gallery 8:30-10 p.m. I.V.C.F. Meeting Boren Lounge 9-10 p.m. Guilfordian Staff Meeting Commons 9-10 p.m. Amnesty International Dana Lounge Thursday, 13 10:30-2:30 p.m. Yoga Class Gallery 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Camp Chestnut Ridge Recruiting Founders Lobby 2-3 p.m. Student Development Meeting Dana Lounge 8 p.m. Campus Alanon, Elliott Center UNCG Friday, 14 9:15-10:30 p.m. Student Development Dept Heads Mtg. Dana Lounge 9 p.m.-l a.m. "Rave" Union Dance Sunday, 16 9-noon Christ The King Church Service Moon Room 6-7:30 p.m. Class Meeting Leak Meeting 7-8 p.m. Catholic Mass Boren Lounge 7:30-9 p.m. Serendipity Meeting Commons 8:30-9:30 p.m. WQFS DJ Meeting Gallery 10-midnight Student Loan Fund Founders Lobby Monday, 17 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Jewelry and Clothing Sale Founders Lobby 2:30-4 p.m. Faculty Study Group Boren Lounge 7:30-9 p.m. Charles Merrill Reading Gallery 9-10:30 p.m. General Union Meeting Commons LECTURE: On February 10 at 4 p.m. in the Gallery, Heather Sellars, an English Department Candidate from Florida State, will deliever a talk entitled, "Writing on a word processor: what difference does it make?" THE GUILFORDIAN I Spam will still be • available next week. • *The Guilfordian ; I won't be. j • There urill be no guilfordian is- • • sue ne\t zveef^. 9-Coivever, there • • uritt be a general staff fiesta this* J Wednesday at 9:00 in the Tas-* J sion Tit ('Where eCse. p ) r Want some J I details? call at 2644 J 9
The Guilfordian (Greensboro, N.C.)
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Feb. 7, 1992, edition 1
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