8
It Came From
the Video Store
BY WILL DODSON
Features Editor
I selected this week's flick,
"Street Trash," because it had a
cool box cover like every other
movie I rent. This one was slightly
more intriguing than most be
cause it de-
picted a guy
melting while
sitting on a toi
let. Bright let
tering reads:
"The grossest
movie ever
made!" I had
no choice but
to watch.
I was im
mediately re
warded. Scene
1 features a na
ked guy. Run
ning. Have you
ever seen a na
ked guy run?
It's funny.
I'm not sure there's much of
a plot, but from what I gather,
some fat guy is selling liquor that
he found in the corner of his cel
lar to vagrants. This liquor, Vi
per brand, apparently makes
people melt.
First some guy melts on the
toilet (I think that's where the box
cover artist drew her/his inspira
tion). I didn't realize humans had
so much day-glo blue in them.
Next another guy melts, but not
before vomiting yellow stuff on an
innocent bystander. The vomit
apparently is not good for the
complexion, because the
bystander's face twists into a vis
age very similar to that of the
Toxic Avenger.
Speaking of the Toxic
Avenger, the bad guy mayor from
that movie who weighs about 652
pounds plays a necrophilic me
chanic who gets syphilis from a
body he finds in a junkyard. I
don't know why he's in the movie,
but I'm very excited to finally be
able to mention necrophilia in my
column.
And if that cameo isn't cool
enough, the guy who plays Jeffery
Franken in "Frankenhooker" (one
'
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Features
of the greatest movies of all time)
is also featured in "Street Trash."
He seems to be a low-level mem
ber of the Mafia, but I don't know
what that has to do with the movie
either.
I think the plot is secondary
to the special effects, kind of like
"Star Wars," except instead of la
sers and spaceships it's vomit and
melting people.
Even without
a plot, though,
"Street Trash"
does have some
extremely cool
scenes.
Example #1:
the good guy cop
beats up some
guy because he's
wearing an ugly
jacket. After the
cop knocks the
guy down, he
shoves his fingers
down his throat
and pukes on
him. Who needs
Miranda rights?
Example #2: Somebody says,
"I'd just like to know what you're
doing with all that chicken in your
pants."
Example #3: This is probably
one of the single greatest mo
ments on film. A man gets a cer
tain vital portion of his anatomy
severed from his body by a mean
junkyard dweller. The poor guy
tries to get it back, but a gang of
junkyard people play "Keep
Away" with it. The scene features
several close-ups of the severed
member flying through the air
that are strongly reminiscent of
"2001: A Space Odyssey's" open
ing scene with the flying bone.
When the guy finally regains pos
session of his anatomy, he jumps
onto a school bus to get a ride to
the hospital. The kids are a little
traumatized. I must have hit the
rewind button a dozen times.
Rating: Although this movie
made about as much sense as boy
cotting a free newspaper, I give it
my recommendation because,
well, it's really gross. Plus, three
words that equal fun are "penile
keep-away." See you next week.
Carter and Morscheck
Go to the Movies
♦This week: Jonathan and Peter review Shall We Dance?
BY JONATHAN
CARTER
Features Film Critic
Shall We Dance
was produced by
Daiei, the same com
pany that brought us
the Gamera movies.
There's no giant rocket-powered
turtle in this movie (unfortunately),
but I must say that Daiei's produc
tion values have increased tremen
dously since the monster-fighting
days, because they've made a well
acted, well-directed, and well-cho
reographed film.
The main character is Mr.
Sugiyama, a businessman who has
become bored and unsatisfied with
his life. He decides to secretly en
roll at a dance school to try to save
himself from depression. At first
Sugiyama shows the awkwardness
that most of us would have if we
tried to dance, as well as the fear
of being found out by his family
and co-workers. But he soon over
comes his problems and learns how
enjoyable and meaningful dance
can be. Near the end of the movie
Sugiyama participated in a compe
tition, but it's not the climax and
he doesn't even win. The point is
that it doesn't matter if you win as
long as you enjoy what you're do
ing.
The movie is in Japanese with
subtitles. At first it's distracting
having to glance down at the bot
tom of the screen every time some
one speaks, but after a while look
ing at the subtitles becomes an al
most subconscious effort. The
main problem with the subtitles is
that the grammar and sentence
structure is perfect, which makes
the characters seem to speak unre
alistically.
My lack of knowledge about
dancing was the main reason I
didn't enjoy the movie more than I
did. The characters went on and
on about the joys of dancing, but I
couldn't get into it because I've
never been intereseted in dancing.
The movie just didn't appeal to me.
But if you're interested in dancing
or Japanese films, you might want
to give Shall We Dance a try.
i I I *Wt
*'■' y.-M jfefefefcy
in Greensboro at all. Not to be
too harsh on our fair metropolis,
but I have a hunch very few Japa
nese films are shown here, and even
fewer Japanese films about salva
tion through ballroom dancing. Yet,
that is precisely the theme of this
movie, a fascinating study of a
businessman's rekindled lust for life
once he secretly starts to take les
sons in ballroom dance.
"Secretly" is the key word here
because in Japanese society it is ap
parently awkward for a married
couple to be seen dancing in pub
lic, let alone for a person to dance
with anyone not their spouse. Thus,
wh'en Mr. Sugiyama begins staying
out late every Wednesday to dance,
his wife, suspicious of an affair,
hires a private detective to shadow
him.
The detective discovers that,
while Mr. Sugiyama may have be
gun the lessons in order to get close
to a beautiful young instructor, he
is soon seduced instead by the
power and energy of ballroom it
self, so much so that he trains for
the national amateur champion
ship.
This movie is amazing, filled
with humor, poignant characters,
and infused with the energy of
dance. The tension between
Sugiyama's training for the compe
tition (reminiscent of similar scenes
in The Karate Kid and Chariots of
Fire), and the inevitable confronta
tion with his neglected wife ("It may
have only been dancing, but it was
still an affair!") combined to keep
me enthralled.
Similar to the boxing in Rocky
, dance is not the primary focus, but
merely the means through which
the characters grow. Don't pass this
one over simply because you don't
like dance or hate the idea of "read
ing" a movie (subtitles). This movie
is a prime candidate for the Best
Foreign Film Oscar.
The Guilfordian
September 12, 1997
BY PETER
MORSCHECK
Features Film Critic
The first
hint that Shall We
Dance? may be a
good movie is
that it's playing