10
The Dark Side: it came from the 80's!
BY LAURAH NORTON
Features Columnist
I think the 1980's are what
really messed me up. (I was nor
mal at some point. Promise. I have
wf ■*£>
I wear pink lacey dresses when no one's looking
pictures to prove it. Ask my mom.)
What kind of a decade is that to
grow up in? Legwarmers and red
leather jackets with about six thou
sand zippers on them were con
sidered high fashion.
Nothing important hap
pened in the 80's, besides the in
vention of New Coke. In the 60's,
it was all peace and love and hip
pies and wars, and the 70's —well,
they were boring too, but disco
was invented to keep the masses
Campus Candid
————-
a.
*v ; S7 •''K
Roy Nydorf's art exhibit originally was to have its own article, but no writers felt
they could do Roy's art justice. Or they were too lazy to make the trip. Anyway, as
you can see, it was a pretty nice exhibit.
Features
occupied (Disco may be a tool of
the Antichrist. What else besides
raves can bring bunches of badly
dressed people together with ex
pensive drugs and terrible mu
sic?).
would look really horrible to
gether? Wait! I got it! Neons!"
I especially hated baggy
sweatshirts with the necks cut out.
They were supposed to make the
wearer look athletic, but people
mostly looked like they used to be
really, really fat. And you won
der why I wear black.
I can't remember anything
politically important from my
childhood, but I can remember the
commercials. Remember the car-
toon piece of cheese dressed like
a cowboy that shouted "I'm han
kering for a hunk of cheese!"? He
was scary. I was afraid to eat
grilled cheese sandwiches, for fear
my food would scream at me with
a horrible Texas drawl.
Remember the toys we played
with in the 80's? They were
brightly colored, cheerful, and all
designed to cause us grievous
bodily harm. How many kids rup
tured their spleens on "Pogo Balls"
or the infamous "Sit and Spin"
(Which is kind of a dirty name, if
you think about it).
My personal favorites were
the He-Man (redundant name) ac
tion figures. Especially Skeletor. I
thought Skeletor was pretty
Clothes in
the 80's were
especially aw
ful. People
wore electric
green pants
with double
pairs of hot
pink socks ...
and were cool.
The color
scheme for
fashion during
the 1980's was
something
along the lines
of "I wonder
what colors
mti KS
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The Guilfordian
November 14,1997
swank. Plus, well...hell, he had a
skull for a face!
You can't beat that.
I guess, in reality, I kind of
miss the 80's. Things were simple
then. We didn't have Mortal
Kombat 700 billion or virtual ev
erything, espresso bars or movie
rental stores on every block.
People waited patiently for the
next Molly Ringwald flick (and you
could smoke in the theaters! I'm
so depressed they wouldn't sell
cigarettes to me when I was nine).
People had Atari and Pong
and wore funny clothes. Perhaps
most importantly, you could buy
Tab at the 7-11 anytime you
wanted to.
That's pretty special.