8
It Came From
the Video Store
BY WILL DODSON
Features Editor
Someone asked me recently
why I keep reviewing horror mov
ies. Why don't I branch out and
review other genres?
I told him I love schlock and
dry humor. Dramas just don't have
that stuff.
Why don't I try comedy mov
ies, then? They've got the schlock.
They're funny.
Well, they
just don't have
the body count I
need.
What about
kung-fu movies?
Not enough
blood.
All right,
then, try action
movies. They
have all that stuff.
That's true.
But they don't
have hideously
deformed midget
monsters having
sex with dead
women.
And if
necrophilic monster sex is what
you're into, you'll love "Basket
Case."
Now I know what you're think
ing: most necrophilic monster sex
movies have plot lines that are too
difficult for the average filmgoer to
follow. Luckily, the writer and di
rector of "Basket Case" created a
film that is accessible and engag
ing to all viewers.
The story involves a pair of
Siamese twins, one (Dwayne) a nor
mal boy and the other (Belial) a hid
eous deformed screaming hunk of
splotchy flesh, who are separated
by a triumvirate of veterinarians
who flunked out of medical school.
Brotherly love looks past physical
imperfections, though, so the two
grow up and decide to exact ex
tremely gory revenge on the three
"doctors" who separated them.
Belial looks rather unusual, as
I said, so Dwayne carries him
around in a big wicker basket.
Whenever they get close to one of
the doctors, Belial jumps out and
rips her or him apart. It's cool.
Not only that, but Dwayne has
V
|i|P' %
' i ' imp
I get a new picture next week, so this
issue might be a collector's item. Keep
it safe. It could be worth major bucks
in a few years. Whoa! Long caption!
philic monster sex? What does it
mean?
The most obvious symbolism
is (yes, you guessed it) nuclear
weaponry.
The United States insists on
continuing to stockpile weapons (no
matter how much they deny it).
While they may enjoy it, they're not
really getting anything productive
out of it.
The symbolism works thusly:
necrophilic because we would all
likely die from nuclear war, so ba
sically the government is screwing
our dead and mangled bodies over;
monster because nukes are bad; and
sex because no matter how wrong
we know it is, we just can't stop.
There you go. Redeeming ar
tistic merit and social consciousness
reflected by necrophilic monster
sex.
Rating: I said the brothers
"supposedly die" because there are
not one but TWO sequels. I can't
wait to see them. I bet they'll deal
with international politics or the
injustices done to Native Americans
or something else weighty like that.
Features
an afro of mammoth proportions,
especially amazing considering the
actor's obvious European ancestry.
Now Dwayne loves his brother,
but longs for the companionship
that only a promiscuous reception
ist can provide. This romance
doesn't sit well with jealous Belial,
who takes every opportunity to
scream loudly and kill someone in
order to monopolize Dwayne's at
tention.
Eventually,
Belial resorts to
drastic measures,
killing the
woman and, well,
not stopping
there. Dwayne,
understandably,
is upset.
The broth
ers have it out,
and both suppos
edly die falling
out of the win
dow of a hotel.
Let's look at
this movie in a
larger context. I
mean, what are
the social impli
cations of necro-
Becca Lee
Contemplating
Mike Watt
♦Former Minuteman brings working-class rock to NC
BY KIM O'CONNOR
Staff Writer
Mike Watt is one of the least
pretentious rock stars around.
I remember seeing him as we
walked into the club. Older, gray
ing and slightly overweight, he
looked a little bit out of place.
That pudgy guy in the
fireman's jacket, though, has been
one of the most influential indi
viduals in rock history.
The former member of the
Minutemen and FIREHOSE took the
stage at the Cat's Cradle on Mon
day, November 3.
The first half of the show con-
sisted of ma
terial from
his new al
bum "Con
templating
the Engine
Room."
The
sound
ranged from
faster punk
songs to
bass-driven
rock.
Watt's
theme:
fl f r
.>*• Jr
He's a big guy because he's got a big heart
trains. Several songs were about
trains, train noises were played in
between songs and he even blew
the train whistle before a song.
The music took a real turn
during the second half of the show.
The songs became more and more
Confused about
voice mail?
Try using these commands:
33—fast forwards to end of message . a
3—fast forwards ten seconds ' ■ YOU H3V6 any
I—rewinds ten seconds questions about
ll—return to the beginning of the message : nc an j nirtc
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The Guilfordian
November 14,1997
drawn out.
Prerecorded nature sounds,
like rain, came from the speakers.
The music became, well...trippy.
Despite the somber nature of
the music, towards the end of the
show Watt pulled out his camera
and took pictures of his guitarist,
drummer and audience. We all
smiled and waved.
My favorite part of the show
was at the beginning of Watt's en
core when he said something to the
effect of, "Thanks, guys, you're
great. Thanks for your patience.
I'm sorry the songs were long and
trippy, but this is where I am right
now. I'll be back next spring. And
Courtesy of Columbia Records
came out, shook hands with his
fans, passed around his mailing list
and sold his own t-shirts for $lO
each.
What kind of rock star does
that? A damn good one, that's
who.
to all the
people who
left...f*** you!
This isn't about
having two
minute songs
for MTV. But,
don't worry, I'll
play some fast
songs." And
with that, he
launched into a
Blue Oyster
Cult cover.
After the
show, Watt