Feb. 23, 2007
www.guilfordian .com
FORUM
Page 9
Greensboro. N.C.
Laura Milot I Staff Writer
"Vagina:" know it, use it, and love it
I have a vagina.
Or, maybe that scares you. Would you
prefer "twat"? Or, how about "cooter"?
Perhaps those are too obvious; I have a
hoohaa," a '^snatch," a “slit." Sorry, did
those offend you as well? Well, I have a
“pussy" or maybe you prefer deroga
tory words? I have a “cunt," a “fanny "
a “naff."
Why do we have so many variations
on a word that rhymes with Carolina
and China? And out of all the words
listed, vagina is seen as being the most
vulgar word of them all. Why is it that
the word vagina is dirty?
Eleven years ago. Eve Ensler wrote
the episodic play “The Vagina Mono
logues," which is a world-renowned
off-Broadway play, winning numerous
awards including the Obie award and
has starred celebrities such as Jane Fon
da, Teri Hatcher and Oprah Winfrey.
It celebrates women, raises awareness
about female abuse, domestic abuse and
rape - all things that happen to hun
dreds of women daily, and yet it uses
the word vagina.
Oh no!
Recently in Atlantic, Fla., at the At
lantic Theater, the production studio
changed the name of “The Vagina Mono
logues" to “The Hoohaa Monologues"
after a woman became upset because
her younger niece had to see the word
vagina on the theater marquee.
If you are a woman, you have a va
gina. There is nothing wrong with hav
ing one and using the word vagina, its
proper name, is in no way vulgar, dis- “Grey's Anatomy," scriptwriters were
tasteful or gross. I feel that by using the told not to use the word vagina any-
word vagina
with young
er children
it creates
more ma
ture, com
fortable and
respectable
adults for
the future.
I hon
estly do not
understand
why we can
say, in our
society, that
a man has
a penis and
yet when we
say a woman
has a vagi
na, everyone
cringes!
M y
schoolteach
er would
say, “Oh no,
sweetie, you
can't say va
gina." And
she would
whisper,
"It's the
crotch re
gion." As if
by using the
word “crotch.
'1
VDAY.ORG
Managers of the Atlantic, Fla. theatre changed their
MARQUEE BACK AFTER VSTRITER AND PRODUCER EvE EnSLER
(above) and organizers demanded that the play's
ORIGINAL TITLE, "ThE VaGINA MONOLOGUES," BE USED.
more. It
became the
“vajayjay."
Whom are
they trying
to protect?
Women
know they
have a va
gina, and
men know
women
have a va
gina. Get
over your
juvenile
sniggering
and come
to ^terms
with the
word.
So again,
why is it
that our
society
acts juve
nile when
the word
“vagina"
is tossed
around?
Obviously,
the word
does not
come up in
conversa-
she made it less vulgar, tion very often; otherwise, I would not
Even in famous TV shows such as be a bit concerned.
However, when the word does roll
off the tongue, sometimes it hits you
like a thousand bricks. People get up
tight, “You mean the 'vajayjay'?" It is
not as if the word “vajayjay" implies
a soda can; it is the vagina, obviously.
Some people get uncomfortable with
the word and have to have little pet
names to get through the awkward
conversation.
Now this is not always the case.
Sometimes people are mature and can
use the word vagina without snigger
ing or even busting a smirk. However,
some people cannot help but giggle or
even get defensive. “Don't call my va
gina a vagina!"
The vagina is not bad. It gives life,
^^g^S^s in sexual activity, and is a by
product of reproduction.
Maybe it is because it starts with a
“v" or because when one says vagina
there is no beating around the bush, it
means that area between your thighs
that is the vagina.
I do not see anything wrong with
nicknaming your vagina; maybe you
are kinky. But when someone says va
gina, and you get all uncomfortable
with the word, I do see a problem. It
means that you are immature and that
you have little respect for the female
anatomy.
Get over yourself. It is a vagina, not
a “hoohaa." Stop being so damned con
servative and come to terms with the
fact that someone at some point named
that region the vagina. It is what it is.
Know it, love it, use it, but do not abuse
its name.
Anna Nicole Smith dies; child inherits dignity
Kevin Smith | Staff Writer —
Just when you thought marrying a
90-year-old man couldn't put her in the
public eye anymore, Anna Nicole Smith
has managed to pull off her most con
troversial publicity stunt yet — death!
Smith was found dead in a Hard
Rock hotel room two weeks ago. Her
autopsy was inconclusive, but her past
suggests that her death had something
to do with being a drugged-up, gold
digging bimbo. Smith left behind six
potential fathers as well as an incon
gruous family history for her surviving
baby daughter.
Yeah, it's somewhat sad, blah blah
blah, but let s take a look at the bright
side: Anna Nicole Smith is an inspira
tion for lowlifes everywhere. Hear me
out. This woman has simply packed
more uselessness into her 39 years on
Earth than even the most unaccom
plished senior citizens, and she still
can steal the front page away for doing
something that every living thing does
at some point. Simply amazing!
When Smith died, I didn't even know
why she was famous. Over the years I
have heard her name in headlines and in
late-night monologue jokes. I started to
do research and came to learn that she
is famous for the following reasons: be
ing a Playboy playmate, getting a boob
job, starving a baby to make it look
sexy, marry
ing a 90-year-
old, being
overweight,
losing weight
with a fad
product, hav
ing a reality
TV show and,
finally, dy
ing.
In short.
Smith was an
embarrass
ment to hu
manity, and
she topped
it off by dy
ing the way
anyone of
her caliber
would want
to die — with
Slim-Fast and
Methadone in
her refrigera
tor. However,
she still gets
all this atten
tion. Remem
ber Gerald
Ford? I didn't
think so.
“So how
does
swers, I went
to none other
than Assis
tant Profes
sor of English
and Director
of writing
Cynthia Ne
arman.
“Part of
why I think
people con
tinue to be
fascinated by
her and pay
attention to
her antics is
because it's
like watch
ing a train
wreck," said
N e a r m a n .
“There's a
c o m b i n a -
tion for me
— shock and
embarrass
ment and
horror — that
I can't seem
Supermodel Anna Nicole Smith died in January, eyes off of."^
^ ... I agree
someone like this with Cynthia mostly, but a train wreck
PHOTOBUCKET.COM
become so famous? you ask. For an- implies that a train was at some point
going somewhere and doing something.
I would argue that Anna Nicole Smith
is more like a train that just doesn't
work and spontaneously combusts on
occasion.
This train would sit on the tracks
not doing anything but blocking more
important trains and distracting every
one. Even though this train is complete
ly useless, its sporadic, explosive epi
sodes would serve to fascinate people
perpetually. Smith did the same thing
by stealing the headlines with her use
lessness. Oh, the humanity!
Smith has even captured the heart of
senior Noah Foreman.
“There are few things in this life that
have gotten me through hard times
that were not Anna Nicole Smith," said
Foreman. “When I break it down I think
about the formative moments in my life:
my bar mitzvah, the first time I found a
$20 bill on the ground, and when Anna
Nicole Smith died, because I thought it
was hilarious. What is she doing dying?
It's a publicity stunt. Everyone knows
that. 'I want to be on TV some more so
I'll die.' OK, thanks, Anna."
Anna Nicole Smith has ended her ca
reer at the top of her game with a mes
sage: if you want to be big-time, you've
got to mess up big-time. So don't de
spair the next time you screw up or get
an “F" in a class. That “F" stands for
fame.
-L