Newspapers / The Guilfordian (Greensboro, N.C.) / March 30, 2007, edition 1 / Page 13
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Page FOR GOOFORDIAN Jan. 20, 2009 www.guiIfordian.com Greensboro. N.C. So, you think you know about music? Continued from page I You think your favorite band is cool be cause they only have one CD, which they recorded themselves in their father's stu dio without permission on the weekends? Yeah, right. Your band isn't cool until you don't even know you're in it. It has to just happen, like the wind or the rain, or like the Banana and The One in this accompanying picture. The One doesn't even know who this Banana is! Hell, The One barely knows who she herself is, but the two still have a double album together — and a breakout single. On college radio, of course. Don't get it? Well then, young Beatle, you clearly still have much to learn. And, let us tackle the topic of instru ments. Guitars? Tambourines? Pick axes, chainsaws, and other assorted machinery? Come on, you might as well just invest in a synthesizer and name your band "The Sell Bananafantasticolama REALLY SPEAKS TO THE HEART AND SOUL OF A GENERATION WHO DOESN’T KNOW IF THEY SHOULD BUILD A BOMB SHELTER OR BUY A MINIVAN Outs." Real musicians know where to find music that you wouldn't expect. Iced tea spoons. Long underwear. Moldavian tribal chants. That's what makes real music, not bland acoustics. The One could probably educate you folks forever, but the truth is. Her Musical Majesty is tired and, plus, she can only give so much of her wisdom away in one day. David Bowie wouldn't divulge all his wis dom in one sitting, now would he? Exactly. Nonetheless, The One hopes you could take something of value away from this les son. If nothing else, you are at least hum bled in your knowledge, a crucial first step in the learning process. Do not worry, young master. You shall reach enlightenment someday. The One's sort of endless wisdom takes time, dedica tion, and a whole lot of friends on MySpace. Once all three (especially the last) are achieved, then — and only then — can true musical nirvana be found. A Facebook reality... Continued from page I known for her show "America's Next Top Model," has entered the race for the candidacy and now leads the polls for potential presidents. When the aeator of the Tyra-for- President group was asked how he felt about Ws group becoming reality, all he had to say was, "It's fierce." Postmodernists argue that this Facebook reality is just another sign of our decaying society, and that this so-called reality is nothing more than simulaaa. "Our lives, our minds, have been repeatedly assaulted by what we see on Facebook, along with other media images, that some people can no lon ger discern the difference between what is real and what is not. Face- book is merely another example of this inability. Facebook is not reality, it just simulates reality," said now-de ceased French theorist Jean Baudtil- lard in late February. racetiooK If It‘s On Facebook- It Must Be True! home search browse invite help logout Global Information Group Info Name: Type: Description: If It's On Facebook- It Must Be True! Just for Fun - Inside Jokes You all know it. Facebook has become the number one source of all knowledge on life^ the universe^ and everything. Photos No one has uploaded any photon FACEBOOK.COM
The Guilfordian (Greensboro, N.C.)
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March 30, 2007, edition 1
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