I i 3 FEATURES Life before Guilford: Lucas the ghost By Laura Devinsky Staff Writer Lucas was difficult to get a hold of. As a ghost, he tends to disappear and go unseen and not heard from for days, or even weeks. After calling and waiting, I was finally able to sit and chat with him at about 3 a.m. in his usual haunting grounds in Dana Auditorium. He stands at about 5 foot 10 — about the average height for his generation, according to Lucas. He is dressed in the gray Civil War uniform that he was wearing upon his death; it's tattered and dingy. "These are my only duds," Lucas said as he stared into the window trying to adjust his jacket. "It's quite frustrating that they don't make mirrors for ghosts. I used to be quite the dandy — the ladies really loved me. It's hard not to let yourself go in the afterlife." See "LUCAS'* on page 4 Lucas the ghost shares an impromptu performance in his usual haunting ground in Dana. This week enline GNN with ^ Ashley Lynch & Millie Carter ff, E88®a aa // AiPEnE, a, a®aa THE GOOFORDIAN ^ •myw.wiKrs®a®iAJsr.@®i!i oi wjuisrs AARON FETROW RESIGNS AS DEAN OF STUDENTS, DROPS TRUTH BOMBS ON UNSUSPECTING TROLLS SEE #WARLOCKFETROW NEWS A squirrel-powered schoolP SQUIRREL POWER HAILED AS THE LATEST STEP IN SUSTAINABILITY By Amanda Dahill-Moore Staff Writer Guilford's latest "Green and Beyond" energy initiative is scheduled to begin Friday/April 1: On the lawn in front of Founders, dozens of volunteers will be strapping small vests to the squirrels on campus in hopes that their frantic twitching can finally be put to good use. "Our biggest concern is catching the squirrels," said Mark Dodders, a consultant for Green4Lyfe, the Asheville-based energy-saving firm hired by the college. "I've been a part of similar efforts on other campuses, and let me tell you, they are squirmy little critters." The process for harnessing squirrel energy is a bit involved, but the results are dramatic. "I heard that physics majors calculated that the energy released by Guilford squirrels running up and down just five oak and three maple trees on the quad could provide enough power to fuel Netflix streaming in Milner and Bryan combined," said Professor of English Jim Hood. Volunteers will strap the squirrels with lightweight but durable canvas vests fitted on the back with a See "Energy" on page 2 Ulrich, one of the many squirrels on campus equipped with the new energy harvesting systems, pauses briefly to consider who to throw his nuts at. SPORTS 99 problems but a snitch ain’t one By Meg Holden Staff Writer Start with seven players. Give them some balls. Add seven broomsticks. And put them 50 feet in the air. Yield: one Quidditch team. Guilford College's newest club sport is flying into the Quidditch season with little more than the minimum required players, some second-hand equipment, and a reasonably-competent coach. Associate Professor of Political Science Kyle Dell offered to be the faculty sponsor for Guilford's Quidditch team, called the EarthQuakers, after hearing about the club from a student. "I found out about the team and thought, 'I want to help them,"' Dell said. "I was an outside Chaser for the (Kalamazoo College) Kalamazoomers, and after college I was signed to play for the Massachusetts Chickadees. Playing professional Quidditch was my dream." Dell's dream was crushed, however. when a Bludger, hit with too much force, slammed into his throwing shoulder at 80 mph. "My shoulder was shattered," Dell said. "The medics said I'd never play Quidditch again. So I became a professor." According to team co-captains Caiden Hogan and Trevor Denning, the EarthQuakers suffered from that insidious Guilford affliction, See "Quidditch" on page 6 WWW.GUI1F0RDMII.COM Max Carter uses inner light to help family locate lost puppy CO m a: o h- co Charlie Sheen accepts position as Dean of Students ■ P-Safe ■ streaks E through 1 library 1