Thursday, March 10, 1938.
THE SALEMITE
Page Three.
HELEN AND THE
TROJANS
(Continued From Page Two)
her a goop
We’re not ashamed to say that we
will stoop
To anything.
Mrs. Soakus:
Timid soul:
(Tune: What’ll I do?
What ’11 we do if that shrew won’t
go away
If she’s here to stay what ’11 we do ?
For our men stay away at the of
fice all day
They will play with that shrew,
what’ll we dot
Mrs. Soekra:
(Tune: Kitchen Mechanic)
I’m just a kitchen mechanic, but
I ’11 warn my old man
To leave that hypnotising Greek
alone.
If he bothers that blonde. I’m
just the lady who can
Make him rue what he has done.
Cause every night you bet your life.
I’ll feed him jugs full of hemlock
and underdone ham
I’m just a kitchen mechanic and
the lady who can
Make my old scandalizing Soekra
Tease moan,
And how you’ll hear him moan!
If that old tantalizing man don’t
leave that Helen alone
Mrs. Ben Hur:
(Tune: East Side, West Side)
If we don’t watch out, in all our
Trdjan towns
Husbands will be leaving home
And acting like old clowns.
We must stop them, e’er they do
begin
We must work like Trojans for to
save our men from sin
Now comes Mrs. Soekra singing I’m
just a kitchen mechanic, followed
by Mrs. Hur singing if we don’
watch out.
Mrs. Hector:
Entliusiastically, after a moment
of thought
(Tune, Deck the Halls with boughs
of holly),
I have hit upon a plan, ha, ha, ha,
ha ha etc.
Whereby every woman can, ha, ha,
ha, etc.
Keep her husband round her
finger, ha, ha, ha, etc.
Harken, girls, it’s a hum-dinger,
ha, ha, etc.
ACT III.
Outside the walls of Troy. City gat* I
at left. Two soldiers guarding
the wall, marching up and down
on top of it if possible, to tune
of W. and L. Swing.
Drums are heard of^ stage right. A
firecracker is popped off. Pre
lude to Wm. Tell storm played
softly on piano. Sentinels look
off ni the distonce. One sings.
(Tune: Over There)
‘ ‘ Lookie there, lookie there, lookie
there.
The Greeks are coming, the Greeks
are coming.
The Greeks are coming on a tear!
Blow your horn, send the word,
let’s be heard.
They’re coming over, and they’ll
drag back Helen without mercy
by the hair!
They blow Reveille on kazoos.
Singing from behind the wall.
(Tune: Johnnie Get Your Gun.
Hector, get your gun, get your gun,
get your gun
We’re ready for the fun, etc.
The Greeks are coming, the Greeks
are coming
The Greeks are coming on the run.
They think they’re hot, but they’re
not, that’s just rot t
We’ll meet them half way and
we’ll turn them into one big
greasy spot!
Greeks sing as they come on the stage
from right, armed with greasy
spoons, toasting forks, and fry
ing pans.
(Tune: Put on Your Old Gray Bon
net.)
Put on your old gray tunic
Wage a war worse than the punic
And we’ll lick the Trojans in the
fray
While they ’re busy being coy
With our Helen here in Troy
While the sun shines we’ll make
hay!
Trojan warriors appear in the gate,
armed to the teeth.
(Tune: Hark the Sound of Tarheel
Voices).
Hark, the sound of Trojan voices.
Ringing without fear
We will meet the Greeks in bat
tle, We will smear them here.
Frail the bravest wop of all. Dear
to his own kind in the hot-dog
business
Our dear Troy, priceless gem, re
ceive all praises thine
For I’m a Trojan, born, I’m a
Trojan bred
And when I die I’m a Trojan dead
So it’s rah, rah for Troy, Troy
Rah, rah for Troy, Troy
Rah, rah for Troy, Troy, rah
rah, rah.
The Trojans emerge fiercely from the
gate, it becomes apparent that
they are held back by strings,
tied harness fashion around their
middles, and held by their wives,
who follow them on the field.
Trojans turn pleadingly to their
(Tune; Take me Out to the Ball
Game.
Let me fight in the battle
Let me loose in the crowd
I will behave like a gentleman
Defend my name like a loyal
Trojan.
Wives take up the tune with:
It’s not for your country You’re
fighting
That woman is still on your mind
I will hold you, “hen-peck” you,
scold you
Expect you to keep your nose to
the grind.
Hector, Trojan warrior, steps forward
as far as his wife will let him,
(Continued On Page Four)
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