Page Two.
THE SALEMITE
Thursday, February 26, 1942.
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U. S.DEFENSE
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MERLIN DIARY
(Continued From Page 1)
sings: (Tune: ‘^Carry me back
to 01’ Virginia”);
Carry me back to merry green
wood
There’s where my thoughts
and affections want to be
But Welawey! There’s a mis
apprehension
It’s not Robin Hood I am long
ing to see.
Sir Twistum, surprised: It’s not
Robin Hood you lovef
Marian: No, it’s little John and
he won’t even look at me.
Sir Kayper: Unrequited lovel —
that’s right down our alley.
Sir Pereeverin’: (Rising and go
ing to her): I’ll take you to the
greenwood and see that little John
proposes.
Marian (delighted siugs):
Oh, Johnny, oh Johnny, how he can
shoot!
Oh, Johnny, oh Johnny, he’s weal
thy to boot.
It makes my poor heart jump with
Joy
To think I’ll really find him, I just
can’t wait a minute
He may be little it’s true
But he’ll play havoe with you
Oh, Johnny, oh Johnny, oh.
(Marian ipnd Pereeverin’ with
draw to another corner). Enter
two pages.
1st page: My Lord, there’s'a lady
outside.
King 0.: Wlat! Another? Well,
bring her in.
2nd page: It’s a bit irregular.
She isn’t riding on her palfrey, but
I’ll fetch her. (exit).
(Enter pages wheeling the Lady
of Shalott in a wheelbarrow. The
Lady descends and bows to King
and Knights. She recites to music.
Lady of Shalott:
No disrespect intended by my rath
er plain conveyance
For when there’s war then etiquette
is somewhat in abeyance.
I had to give my palfrey up for
kingly requisition
Has taken nails and horseshoes to
be used for ammunition.
Sir Twistum (aside): I like her
looks, wonder what’s her trouble.
Lady of Shalott, recites to music:
My minds’ distraught with ques
tionings not wholly realistic,
Which is the supernatural, and
which, pray tell, the mystic?
T’was this that made me leave Sha
lott to seek elucidation.
And what is worse, I bear the curse
of vivid imagination
Sir Twistum (rises and goes to
her singing: Tune: “Clementine”)
Slie^s enchanting, I am granting,
But she’s under a sad spell
First I’ll slaughter the dread ogre
Then I’ll woo the maiden well.
Sir Kayper (Disgustedly, as he
goes on eating alone at the table);
He always thinks he can twistum
right around his finger.
(The door bursts open and Sir
Gadabout, followed by ten chorus
girls, rushes in. Sir Twistum and
Lady of S. move to one side.)
Gadabout sings: Tune “In Days
of Old.”:
(To the girls):
Girls now behold these knights so
bold.
Where Oughter holds his sway
You need not fear, exams so drear
Sing merrily your lay.
(To the knights):
These girls are young and fair
These girls have lovely hair
With eyes so blue, and hearts so
true
That none with them compare
So what care I
Though death be nigh
I’ll fight for the mand die.
S'o what care I, though death be
nigh
I’ll fight for them and die.
For love, for love. I’ll die.
Lynette (stepping forward): He
has offered to slay the dragon Ex
aminations that has kept us hollow-
checked and wan.
Queen G.: But he can’t take on
ten damsels at once, it might es
tablish a precedent.
Gadabout: (Tune: “Mary had a
little lamb”):
My strength is as the strength of
ten, strength of ten, strength of
ten
My strength is as the strength of
ten. Because my heart is pure.
To see these maidens all forlorn, all
forlorn, all forlorn.
To see these maidens all forlorn,
I really can’t endure.
Chorus girls: Let’s give three
cheers for noble Sir Gadabout who
is pledged to succor our cause.
(Lynette steps forward as if to
lead a cheer, raises her arms, gives
the pitch for altos and sopranos,
chorus girls come to attention:)
Chorus girls all sing: (Tune: “L.
Wedding March”):
Gadabout cheer!
He has no peer
See how his chivalry banishes fear
Come let us dance
Our joys to enhance
We’ll try our darndest the knights
to entrance.
(They hum the first three lines
and then repeat, ‘ ‘ Come let us dance,
etc.”).
Knights: Bravo!
King O.: On with the dance (The
chorus girls dance).
Dance of the Chorus Oirls
(W|hen the dance is over, Lynette
steps forward.)
Lynette: Before we start on tour
with good Sir Gadabout, we’d bet
ter practice walking in step. (The
chorus girls line up two and two and
sing slowly, “Ga’dabout cheer. He
has no peer,’ ’ etc., as they march
off stage with exaggerated brides
maids’ steps.
Sir Twistum: But, Gadabout, you
can’t go on tour with that ensemble,
let me have at least one of them.
Sir Pereeverin’: I’ll take another.
All the Knights: We’ll all help.
Lilymayd (tragically): But if
you all go on tour with the chorus
girls, what becomes of me!
Lady of S.: And met
Maid Marian; And me? (She be
gins to sob, “Oh, Johnny, oh John
ny, oh!”)
King O.: (rising and stepping
down to center of stage: Sings:
Tune; ‘ ‘Duke of Plazatora”):
Oh dear, oh dear, we’re in a mess!
I’m at a loss, I quite confess
With damsels feeling new distress
We should have action drastic
Now frankly I’m a little vexed
The problem seems a bit complexed
I think perhaps we’d better next
Consult with minds scholastic.
Queen G.: It’s a good idea, send
for the Scholastics at once.
(Sir Kayper hands King O. his
spear King O. knocks with it
three times on the floor exclaim
ing); Hie! Haec! Hoc!
Enter Aquinas and Bquinas, two
scholastic philosophers robed in
gray.)
King O.: These maids are suffer
ing from grevious ills — unrequited
love, the loss of cherished posses
sions and fear of the supernatural.
Does your philosophy have an an
swer to these problems:
Aquinas (solemnly in in Latin:
Tune; “Jada”);
Ego, ego, mei, mihi, me, me, me.
Tu, tu, tui, tibi, te, te, te,
Tantum cantum paululum
Ita dulce et mihi jucundum
Agit ego, ego, mei, mihi, me, me, mo.
Bquinas (also solemnly in Latin);
Tu, tu, tui, tibi, te, te, te,
Sui, sui, sui, sibi, se, se, se.
Tantum cantum paululum
Ita dulce et mihi jucundum
Agit ego, ego, mei, mihi me, me, me.
Dancealot; I didn’t understand a
word they said. Can’t we have an
interpreter? *■
Aquinas and Bquinas (in unison):
Summon the monks from the mon
astery!
(Dancealot rings the dinner bell on
the Round Table three times.)
Enter three little monks (dressed
in brown) They chant: Tune:
“Three Little Maids from School”)
Three little monks from the monas-
tree.
W|e’re just as wise as we can be!
We can solve any mystery
Three little monks in brown.
(From the time that they enter
one monk holds his hands before
his eyes, one before his lips, and
one before his ears.)
Sir Pereeverin’: They look like
See No Evil, Speak No Evil, Hear
no Evil.
1st IVConk; Ethiojally jspeaking
you are quite correct. We are a
personification of the virtues.
Gadabout (dejectedly): Well, is
that what an allegory looks like!
1st Monk; But intellectually we
are a syllogism. (He steps forward
and recites with appropriate ges
tures).
I’m the major premise, you can
readily can see
That everything deducible, derives
direct from me.
(The monks do a few steps of a
monkish dance).
2nd Monk: I’m the minor premise,
and particularly note
That there cannot be a there
fore, unless I cast my vote.
(Again they do a few steps of a
dance).
3rd Monk; I am the conclusion
of all logical debate.
It takes the syllogistic process to
attain the perfect state.
(The monks do a few steps of a
dance, and repeat in unison);
Monks: It takes the syllogistic pro
cess to attain the perfect state.
Aquinas and Bquinas step for
ward) :
Aquinas:
We bet a pepsi-cola bottle
That you can’t beat Aristotle.
Bequinas:
And we trust our erudition
Has quite allayed suspicion.
Maid Marian: But I don’t see
that we’ve got anywhere at all.
GALLEY EIVE 5 .5
S'cholastics & Monks (disgusted
ly) ; Then we ’re returning to our
learning! Bonum nox! (Exeunt).
King O.; I suppose we’ll have to
summon Merlin, he may give us a
new conception of the universe.
(King O claps his handg three times.
There is a low rumble. Enter Mer
lin followed by his scribe who car
ries a very large volume. Merlin
wears a high silk hat adorned with
stars and carries an astrolabe.)
Merlin: Greetings to you!
Queen G.; Oh Merlin, everything
is in a mess and the arguments of
the scholastic philosophers failed
us.
Merlin (sings: Tune; “For he is
an Englishman ”):
Oh, I am a magician
And I would not give a prism for
a silly syllogism.
For I am a magician!
If I have enough persuasion
I’ll rise to the occasion
For I am a magician.
(He takes off his high hat and
passes it to the knights who toss in
coins. They all sing as they do it.)
All:
He wouldn’t give a prism for a silly
syllogism
If he has enough persuasion
He’ll rise to the occasion, for he is
a magician.
(Merlin places the astrolabe on
the table and gazes fixedly at it as
he waves a wand. All crowd around
the table. Sir Kayper leans across
the table in such a way as to hide
the hat which Merlin has placed
near the edge. During the scene
Sir Pereeverin’ slips the hat from
the table and removes a live rabbit
from a box under the table. He
replaces the hat with the rabbit
where Merlin left it. Sir Percever-
in’ is hidden from the audience by
the others who crowd around.)
Merlin (mutters io himself and
then speaks in loud tones):
If this won’t work I know what
will. (He motions to the scribe to
bring the book, then turns the pages
of the diary. At last he points dra
matically to the page.)
Merlin (to the Scribe): Write:
used again February 26, with ex
cellent success! (The Scribe writes
with a long pen. Merlin then mo
tions everybody away from the
table. He walks solemnly around
the table backwards and pauses in
front of the hat.)
Merlin; (in a loud tone): Ate
’em, waked ’em, TATUM! (as he
says the word with emphasis, he
pulls a white rabbit out of the hat).
All: It’s marvelous.
Merlin: (sings with satisfaction:
Tune: “For he is an Englishman”)
It does not rally matter, if you
speak a sort of patter,
You will appear omniscient, If your
methods are proficient.
(Solemnly) This is more serious
than I thought. Morgan le Fay is
at the bottom of all the difficulties.
All; (in consternation); j Oh!
Sir Gadabout; Then we must
storm her castle, match the forces
of good against those of evil, right
the wrong!
King 0.: It means a' crusade!
All: A crusade! A crusade! (The
knights seize their shields and
spears. All march about the stage
singing. The chorus girls enter and
join in the march still in step.)
All: (Tune; “Ramblin Wreck
from Georgia Tech”)
We’re King Oughter’s crew
And we think we’ll do
We’re the Knights of the Table
Round
Like every worthy crusade
We’ll hurl all evil down
We’re King Oughter’s crew
And we think we’ll do
We’re the Knights of the Table
Round
Repeat. Exeunt.
For VICTORY
BUY
UNITED
STATE S
DEFENSE
BONDS
STAMPS
ACT II
In the Wicked-Wood before her
castle. Queen Morgan le Fay is seen
sitting on a stump. About her are
grouped six Deadly Sins lolling on
sofa pillows, some playing check
ers, others, marbles, and chess. An
eery, weird light casts its glow over
entire setting. The Queen appears
quite pensive and dejected. For
several moments there is no sound
except that of the marbles, check
ers, etc. Then, suddenly, the
Queen throws back her head and in
high, fiendish and distressing tones,
calls;
Hee hee — hee hee —
Hoe hee — hee hee —■ 1
I’irst Sin (Raising himself half
way and giving the Heil Hitler
sign)): Oh. Queen!
S'econd Sin: What does this mean?
Third Sin (somewhat saracastic-
ally); Y'ou’re usually so serene!
Queen Morgan le Fay: (Tune:
“Baa, baa. Black Sheep):
i’m bored so stiff
1 gotta swear and curse
Whole world’s so bad,
Can’t be worse
Gotta have evil and broken rules
And make all the knights and ladies
great big fools!
Fourth Sin; How simply Gothic!
Fifth Sin: What’s your plan?
Queen Morgan: (F’iendish, pro
longed, etc.)
We shall see—see—ee
We shall see—see—ee!
Sixth Sin; (Gets up, sings en-
(Continued on Page Three)
FOR
ICTORY
BUY
UNITED STATES
BONDS • STAMPS