Friday, March 20, 1942.
THE SALEMITE
Page Three.
Mr.r Kenyon. It seems that somebody swiped all his pipes and
cinnamon balls and left notes that would eventually lead him
to his most cherished possessions . . . and instead of going
ahead on the little' treasure hunt, he went to all the trouble of
tracing the typewriter used in the notes. After detecting the
criminals, he flatly refused to play . . . but stated that, if said
articles weren’t returned to him, he’d simply present a bill for
new pipes andl c. b. ’s to the persons in question. So the affair
is now at deadlock for the p.’s in q. refuse to return the missing
items. Meanwhile people have been bewildered by the display
in Main Hall . . . and we suspect that the c. b.’s are most
rapidly disappearing.
MENTAL OR
PHYSICAL?
Dot MacLean
We do love the quick action taken on the five-day-school
week idea . . . gosh, it’d be wonderful!
Everybody has been so preoccupied with term papers
and six-weeks’ and general gruel that there haven’t been any
election riots. Why doesn’t somebody stuff the ballot boxes
so we can have one final big stink over the matter?
Reece is absolutely marvelous. After chapel Tuesday,
most of us\ just wanted to crawl off in a hole and die . . . one
junior even went downtown and bought a hat, after having
gone bare-headed for three years. Seriously, why don’t we
give our honor system a, try?
Now, if you will excuse me, I shall betake myself to bed
to make faces at my term-paper . . . ain’t they the WORST???
In history class the other day, Dr. Anscombe dragged
out a tiny little globe to demonstrate just why Australia is re
ferred to as “down under.” Meanwhile .he got engrossed in
something else, and tucked the globe into his pocket so as to
leave his hands free for gesticulation. When he got back to
the Australia issue, he reached in his pocket . . . and what do
you know? The globe was stuck. He twisted and tugged and
carried on for the longest kind of time but it wasn’t any use .
so he, just rared back and hollered, “I’ve got the world in my
pocket, and cant do a thing about it.
For the biggest heart on the campus, we nominate Kath
erine Fort. Rumors drift over from the Lehman way that the
other nite during a great seige of term paper writing, she tip
ped silently into each room and deposited two coca-colas to
serve as the pause that refreshes.
Cette somaine dernifere il a fait du vent et il a plu. Selon le vieur
proverbe, cos deux, apporteront peut-Stre les fleurs do mai. Dfiji nous
pouvons voir Is premiers signes due printoinps. Les penafies brillent sur
notre campus, et les arbres ont des boutons qui deviendront bient6t de
belles feuillcs vertes. Les aspliodftles et les crocus fleurissent. Les oiseaux
sautillent sur les arbres ct chantent. Copendant mfime quand il y a beau
coup de signes du printemps, I’hiver est encore avec nous. Mais bient6t
le printemps sera ici. Done nous pouvons quitter nos v6toments d’hiver
et mettre nos calicots, ct nos robes d’indienne. Le printemps est aasurfi-
ment en train de s’annoncer. Nous attendons avec inquifitude son arrivfie.
—Leila Sullivan.
IT’S EASY THIS WAY
H\n Rat
vJ\TH THE
OLD
ITAYROLL SAVINGS PLAN#^^
FOR OtFf)JSE 0ONDS A»/0 STAWPS .
(tF you’re not in tr.ASK YOUR
I
StvK
Well comprehensive exams are
over and no one is any better off—
least of all Salem
After many weeks of anticipation,
and' several days of intensive study,
I filed into the old chapel promptly
at 2 o’clock because 1 did not want
to get locked out. Into seat 5 row
4 I pranced, and to my amazement,
I found that I was expected to sit
on one of those famous antique back
breakers, (one of those designed for
Salem girls in 1772 to keep skirts
from wrinkling). I sat down ar
ranging my feet flat on the floor
and sitting up straight according
to directions in health books,
was ready.
With precisive directions, I was
handed a little masterpiece. (At this
point I want to compliment the
faculty on the ease and grace with
which they distributed the book
lets).
At the signal “Go” I yanked
my red seals off vigorously to see
what the whole thing was about
(imagine sealing those little books
when Salem practices the honor sys
tem).
Book I Fart 1 — Physics — nat
urally I was in my glory because
my mind just works physically.
Part 2 — Chemistry — Now I
distinctly remember taking chemis
try because I got 40c for my old
chemistry book. Well I think that
r made zero on this section because
the half 1 guessed will probably
oven up the half I got right (inci
dentally all those guessed wrong
counted against me).
Part 3 —' Literature — If this
was a general literature, I was glad
that I didn’t have to take a specific
one. The quotations to be identi
fied I could have easily given the
credits to any of the great men
listed (after all no ideas are orig
inal).
Part 4 — Fine Arts — This group
was a relief to music and art stu
dents but, as for me, I was still
ringing average and beginning to
wonder if I had a talent. To the
question “who was the waltz king”
— I searched vainly for Paul White
man’s name, but couldn’t find it.
Art section — what a relief I Here
1 could actually guess without any
knowledge to confuse me.
Time up “Fifteen minutes will
bo allowed to finish up for extra
time and no credit deducted.”
Kecess — the most disconcerting
fifteen minutes 1 ever spent. I
l?arned Jthat every thing that I
knew was right was absolutely
wrong. (Take a note — avoid all
crowds tomorrow at recess).
Book II — Verbal Factors — I
vaguely remember seeing words,
words and more words which may
have been Chinese. (1 would suggest
including a vocavulary course in
Salem’s curriculum).
Time up — I picked up my re
mains and plodded to the dormitory
where I quickly put my inferiority
complex to bed.
Tuesday afternoon — 1 was late
and to my disappointment the
doors were open.
Book III — Mathematics —
Knowing nothing whatsoever about
mathematics, I set to work measur
ing angles with my pencil and on
problems with my deductive powers.
Book IV. General — Since my
major was too much for the Car
negio Institute, I was forced to
take a general exam. According to
directions I must use deduction.
What/ a shame —I had used up all
my deduction on the math. test.
Question 1. If one ant goes up a
hill I inch in % minute and rests
% minute but while resting slides
back Vj inch; and the other ant goes
slowly up the hill 1 inch in 1 min
ute without resting when will the
ants reach the top (if they’re going
up the hill to Reynold’s High School
they may still be going).
This was fun I was whizzing all
along — guessing and guessing.
Question 25 — If you are strictly
guessing i>roblems and you have 2
choices out of 5 questions, what
chance do you have of getting them
correct? (I was smart here because
I left it blank — now the graders
will think that I knew the others).
Five-thirty —- I must go get ready
for the teachers’ banquet. Too bad
I couldn’t explain to the Carnegie
Institute.
Murmurs In The Hall.
♦ ♦ ♦
By the way, who is this man (two
of them, in fact) that come back
every week to see Mary Ellen.
Bowen, how is Joe, I mean, or,
Stuart.
Well, if it’s not Boy it’s a wed
ding, so homo again goes Kemp
This makes the third week-end, con
secutively, and don’t think for
minutq that she might not go home
the next week-end too.
What with six letters in one day
and telephone calls every 5 minutes,
well, the rest of the seniors may as
well give up, eh, what, Babef
I suppose everyone has “smelled”
Lucy’s new perfume that Chuck
sent.
W« were wondering if Sisk was
coming in at all last week-end.
Have you heard the joke about
the little moron who stayed up all
night studying for a —t well,
guess everyone has heard that one.
You’ve all heard the ones that are,
shall we say, eligible for print.
Well, I did hear that Sue’s Gene
is getting a little nervous with the
fighting cOming so close home.
I also heard that Louise and Ceil
are stil doing all right down Caro
lina way — K. A.’a to be exact. And
Happy is forever trying to call Rut
gors. And there’s this week-end, so
Mary will see Addison.
Frankie reports that N. Wilkes-
boro was the big-time town last
week-end. Here was one male at
home. And who do you think dated
himf Why, Frankie, of course.
NO PLANE EESEBVATIONS
And then there’s the story about
no plane reservations. Too bad,
Eddie.
A peep through tho keyholes of
Sisters’ is a bit gruesome this week.
I’ve never seen anything particular
ly appealing about Biology notes
and Latin books, but like all bravo
soldiers we’re fighting through (or
do we get through? — that remains
to bo the question). Speaking of
the educational world.
Clo was completely “Bobbed’’
last week-end in Charlotte — and ho
got away with it tool
It’s a bit “Windy” around Fran
Goodwin these days. By the way,
Fran, how did you happen to get
tho cream of the Davidson crop!
EX-TEACHEB’S LOVE!
Bittsie, it isn’t every day that a
little girl wins the lovo of an ex
teacher, and now that you have his
picture it seems that tho road leads
to success. May we extend our best
wishes for happiness always.
That romantic “Power” has enam
ored Mary Floyd to the extent of a
swoon, even more than walking
through tho arch with Paul.
Mary, honey, don’t you cry, Andy
will be back by and by.
It seems that Chemistry and first
aid have made a conflict with
Struvie and John. Better get a bet
ter schedule Struvie.
Tho excitement must have been
too much for John W- (Davidson)
when Betty G. accepted his frat.
pin because he’s in the hospital
now.
CABBON-OOPIES . .
Carbon-copy letters are the latest
fad — ask Harriet Sutton and
Jean Blue.
Speaking of V. P. L “Stu”
Snider and President Sftrohm have
heart throbs there also.
Kdith Walker has a wisdom tooth
and an engagement ring.
“Bull” says “thanks,” girl.s for
the make-boUeve phone call” causo
Henry came after all.
Tho long awaited arrival of Nona
Lee’s Don is going to take place
this week-end. Joyce Carpenter’s
Don is heading up this way too.
Duo to Iceland — no V. P. I. for
Scotty this year.
Mac from Penn, came through
with a watch and phone call for
A dole Chase’s birthday — Adelo, the
girls on third are still “tipfiy'’
after the cake soaked in wine.
Dottie Stadler has gone into
photography business. Glad you
wore the bandana anyway.
Denning, your brother’s baud
friends come in handy, don’t they?
E. Hearno, don’t believe fortune
tellers ’cause Paschall wouldn’t
shoot you a lino — maybe?
Wonder why “Babs” Humbert,
OHAPEL FOBEOAST:
March 24: —
Freshman Dramatic Club —
Old Chapel.
March 26: —
Dr. Bondthaler.
B. Grantham, and Mary Yow take
long walks every night after din
ner?
PASTIMES
Pastimes on third — breeding
mice, putting mustard on doorknobs,
having water and powder fi^jhts,
cutting hair, and yelling; Whato a
life!
Seems every Freshman gets a let
ter from Davidson now — except
Mildred Garrison who’s being true
to Paul.
Could it be that Lucile Smoot, K.
Phillips, and Formy-Duval sleep in
their classes for they never go to
sleep at night.
Nancy Johnston broke the record.
8he took the longest freshman
week-end — Saturday until Tuesday
night. Is Bill worth itf
Marilyn’s sick name is “Stink
Low” (Try calling her that and
you’ll get bashed.)
Can’t understand why l!>ances
Jones will never eat “Campbell
products ” — do they remind you of
Billf
Are “True Romance” magazines
required for I>eshman English?
We “Warren” Flanagan that he
would “Burney” her heart.
ABSENT-MINDED
Seems no one in Salem College
can remember what color hair God
gave them.
P. Nimmocks and Edwin had a
big fight at Kappa Sig House mid
winters.
So tho fortune teller says to So
ciety — that it will be a blond.
Hazel, not a brunette — that Mary
will START acting — that Mary
Lib is going to marry that brunette
this year, family or no family —
1’. S. Mr. Fortune Teller, Nellie
hasn’t hoard from Gene yet and
Angela can’t make up her mind
which blond. What wil he tell
Billy — will her dreams of Tom
come true? Will Justine Weaver’*
calls from Blacksburg be explained?
Maybo he can help Kdie — Puerto
Rico or Fort Bragg, that is the
questiou.
BITTINOITES
Since tho Senior jamboree tho
Bittingnites have had plenty of
topic for conversation. The under-
classion showed up to add to tho
gaiety ■ aad well -tho seniors seemed
to be having fun. Loil* feels quali
fied to drive an army tank now —
Wpll, didn’t she have fun with a cer
tain Davidson thrashing machine.
Her theme song for the next two
days was ‘ ‘ Doesn’t somebody have
any Sloan’s Liniment?” Marge
was there, too, and her “Bill” of
faro was mighty keen. Lib Wel
don was a good ticket collector and
seemed to bo enjoying herself. B.
Winbourno wo glimpsed playing
good Samaritan (as was Dot M«-
Clean) and Jennie Dye was having
a wonderful time — Wyatt was in
gay mood and Doris was flitting
here and there apparently in good
spirits.
Not at tho jamboree but having
fun was Agnes Mae — she did her
entertaining in the living room of
Bitting.
Sunday was Mary Wilson’s busy
day — she had' a visitor on campus
— mighty fine!
CHINESE
Fitzy is having a time with her
corres{K)ndonce those days and
even the Chineso are interested!
Edith is still enjoying the Com
pany of a certain medical student.
Polly stopped out Saturday nite
— another Bill in the column.
Mary O’Keefe was seen chatting
— yes — with Joe — in Bitting liv
ing room.
Alice took off for Salisbury and
camo back with practically a trous
seau — Johnsie, Marian, Betty,
Mary, and Martha wore also among
the week-end taker offers.
Ho-hum — Bittingmites aro sure
ly enjoying themselves these days.
PERFECT
PRINTING
\ PLATES
PibMOHT
ENGRAYIHC CO.
WINJ'TON-J'ALEM