Page Five.
Sincere commiseration.
Chorus
(6) Now twist aud twirl, Kach
beamish girl
Likewise each beamish boy, O
frabjous day! Callooh! callay!
We chortle in our joy.
Chorus
never mind I Never mind the rest of
(7) Now please to aote, That I can
quote,
And please restrain your malice!
This Wonderland, V'ou under
stand.
Has everything but Alice.
lU'rald (Interrupting); Never mind,
Chorus
(8) Hooray, hooray, The first of
May
W^e riot now and revel. We
turn and trip
And laugh and skip and
what we do, your majesty. There’s
a limit, you know, even on the
Kailem College Campus. I mean a
time limit, of course. And besides
there’s a show to be put on here
and you most emphatically are not
it.
King; But I thought!—
Herald: That’s not in your script,
kinky-winky. You may bo Van
.Jackson, but I’m ('harlcfl Boyer
and I’m running this show from
here out. Sidilovvn, siddown or
y,ou nmy get crowned too soon and
too hard. (The King sits, crest
fallen). Ladies and gentlemen,
students, faculty, doting alumnae,
drooling parents, boysfriends and
camera fiends, we present for your
delectation, and incidentally in
honor of this insignificant speci-
man of royalty THE KACULl'Y
TOLLIKS OK FOKTY-Sl.X. And
the first act on the bill is entitled
WKAVKR’S WISDOM, OR THE
FAILEM ACADEMY WHIZ KIDS.
(The Whiz Kids do their act)
Herald: And now, in order to have
something a little more in line
with the royal I. Q. the May Day
Committee presents THlO KICK-
OVA STKOLIN’ DANCE ENSEM
BLE. (Ballet)
Herald: and now, ladies and gentle
men of the court and friends of the
audience both Hoi and pollol, it’s
time to tune up y^our tonsils, re
vivify your vocal chord.", elongate
your opiglottisos and repress your
sentimental tears, as wo join in
singing our traditional coronation
anthem.
Chorus: (Tune-^May Da/ Carol—
Boogie-accompaniment)
When the sun shines bright in the
middle of the night
•Vnd the cow jumps over tho moon.
(Continued on page six)
FflSHDM 5
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RAY W. GOODRICH
PHOTOGRAPHER
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UP TOWN MEETING PLACE
“The Shopping Center”
February 8, 1946.
(Continued from page four)
chral tones) (Tune: “Johnny
Comes Marching Home”)
You’d better look out, you foolish
girl, Beware! Beware!
Little n. M.: Not that hand—the
■Other one! (She holds out left
hand).
The 3 Ghosts (singing): That hair
"’ill never come out of curl. Take
care! Take care
Little R. M.: Now the third finger,
(.^s the 3 Ghosts finish the song he
ties the hair round her finger).
The 3 Ghosts (singing): And if he
ties it taut and tight.
You’ll never get rid of him, day or
night.
It’s a long Wiggly wiry hair
1st Ghost (spoken) Sinuous hair
2nd Ghost (spoken) Perfidious hair
^rd Ghost (spoken) Treacherous,
'■ile, inescapable hair.
■^11 3 (sung): It’s a long, wiggly,
■wiry hair; Lady beware, beware!
(During first four lines of the 2nd
'''erse he stands still, pulling her
first one way and then the other by
the hair, -which should be several
feet long. Beginning with the fourth
line he starts to lead her around the
stage, the chorus Ked Men falling in
behind).
2nd verse; He ties a taunt and .
twisting knot, Bew'are, Beware.
^ ou carv’t get loose, it’s you he’s
Sot, Take Care. Take Care!
You’ve heard of permanents all
your life,
And nc%' you’ll be his permanent
wife,
It’s a long w'iggly wiry hair
1st (spoken) Vigorous hair
“••d (spoken) Unbreakable hair
(spoken) Forever and ever a
permanent ^air y
*^ung: it.’s a long wiggly wiry hair
Lady, bewar^, beware.
(the music changes into a conga. The
three ghosts fall in behind the
•^I'orus of little red men to form
* tonga line which is led off the
®tage by the Little Red Man).
END OF ACT II
ACT in
delirium Hall, Failem College. The
''fternoon of May Day. It is sup
posed to be raining out.side. The
stage is arranged with a throne in
the center with steps leading up to
*t and steps or an inclined plane
each side, to form a pyramid
effect. At least two marshals are
duty as the audience begins
*•0 arrive.
Suddenly there is a loud disturbance
^t the back of the hall. It is the
former May Queen. She advances
**tormily down the aisle, preceded
the chief marshal, .who walks
'^aekward trying in vain to bar her
progress.
^oriner Queen -(fortissimo): I never
heard of anything so disgraceful
all my life! *
^’’•'ief Marshal: Madam, I’m sorry,
*'ut all the seats were taken hours
sgo.
I'ormer Q.; Do you mean to stand
there and- tell me that u6 reserva
tions have been niade for me?
^hief M.: I’m sorry, but no reser-
'’iitions are made for any one. (by
■'ow they are well to tho front),
former Q.: Young lady, do you
'^now just who I am?
*^'hief M.; I haven’t the least idea,
•nadam.
former Q.: I’ll have you to know
^■>at I’m the first May Queen that
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Chief M.: (losing control): Well,
you look it, sister, I might have
guessed.
Former Q.: Just wait till I tell my
husband! Henry!—Hen-RY! Where
is that little shrimp? The last time
I saw him he was showing the
chi’r’n where George Washington
kissed one of the Single Sisters on
the front porch. Henry! HEN-R\^!
Henry: Coming, dear. (Enter Henry,
down the aislel, followed by his
numerous family, the youngest of
which he carries in his arms).
Former Q.: Henry, you and I are
going right straight to Dr. Rond-
thaler and you are going tc demand
reserved seats for the First May
Queen of Failem College and her
entourage.
Henry: But darling—
Former Q.: Now, Henry, how often
have I told you not to make love
to me in public.
(to the Chief Marshal). Y'oung
woman, you will please conduct
us to Dr. Rondthaler immediately.
Chief Marshal: But, Madam, I—
Former Queen (again in a towering
rage) Will you show me to the
President or shall I stand here aud
scream until he comes to me.
Chief Marshal (pointing): I believe
he is sitting over there.
(The former Queen, followed by
Henry and the family descends upon
Dr. Rondthaler, wherever he happens
to be sitting).
Former Queen; Dr. Rondthaler, there
must be some mistake. Don’t you
remember that alumnae meeting in
Bishop’s Cross, South Carolina,
three years ago when you promised
personally to reserve places for
me at this May Day?
(Dr. Rondthaler answers in his own
words that he remembers her per
fectly, that he has reserved a chair
for her and that the Chief Marshal
will place it for her on tho stage
just outside of the organ room door.
She is duly ensconced with her
family around her. It is now time
for the May Day exercises to begin.
Enter Herald. He carries a long
trumpet).
Herald (sings — Tune: “Casey
Jones”)
(1) Come all you mamas and you pa
a-pas too.
Today we’ve got a May Day
that is really new.
No more- fussing of the boys
and gals;
They’ve buried tho hatchet and
agreed to be pals.
(Chorus) Ta-(la-da-da-They’ve buried
tho hatchet
Ta-da-da-da-And agreed to be
pals.
Ta-da-da-da-They’ve buried the
hatchet
Buried the hatchet and agreed
to be pals-.
(2) Now tell it abroad with joyful
noise
THE SALEMITE
We gotta new May court of gals
and boys,
Down that aisle there, will pre
sently prance
A half-a-dozen skirts and a half-
a-dozen pants. Chorus.
(3) The rarest thing that ever was
seen
A May Day King instead of a
Queen,
So settle your face right into
a grin,
Our Boogie-Woogie May Day is
about to begin. Chorus.
(the processional takes place to
boogie-woogie accompaniment. The
couples enter alternately, two girls,
then two co-eds. The co-eds carry
huge plumed fans. They meet in
front of the organ, face the audi
ence, bow exaggeratedly, cross over,
ascend the steps, turn at the top of
the steps, bow again, meet on the
stage, bow again, cross over and as
cend the inclined planes ou each
side of the throne. As tho maid of
honor arrives at the stage the harp
is wheeled out, she sits down, strikes
an attitude and a chord, then takes
her place. Herald calls out “Razz-
berries.” The King is preceded by
pages scattering flowers, and by
fan-bearers. Two pages carry his
train. -\s he passes from under the
gallery the small boys throw con
fetti into the air. The king ascends
the stage and the throne.
King; Bring forth the royal address.
(Herald presents a huge scroll, tied
with a bow, which the King opens).
King: (in a sing song—to pian6 ac
companiment)
(1) I am the king, of Kverything,
As far as I can see.
. And every eye, that I can spy.
Is foc us ing on me.
Chorus; Tiddy-um-tum-tum, tiddy-
um-tum-tum
Is focusing on me.
(2) The May day fun. Has now
begun
Y,our spirit to entrance
My scepter grave, I lightly
wave,
And bid you sing and dance.
Cliorus---Tiddy-um, etc.
(3) Drive cares away, Tpon this day.
And banish troubles withum;
No dreary math. Shall cross your
path,
No lab nor. loga-ritluim.
(Chorus)
(4) No English tost. Shall break
your rest.
No Latin, French or Spanish,
Philo.sphee away shall flw,
Evaporate and vanish.
Chorus
(,')) I’m sure that ye, Will tender me
Your free congratulation
,\nd to the queen. That might
have been
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1
HINKLE’S Book Store \
I GREETING CARDS
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1865
1945
O’HANLON’S
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