^mposium Review
Imaginative, Enjoyable:
‘It was Hilarious’
By Hannah Haines
Was it not that lovable old
cynic, Dorothy Parker, who said,
“If nobody had ever learned to
undress, very few people would
be in love”? Yes, it was, and if
you were at the reader’s theater
sponsored by Symposium last
Monday night at 8 p.m., you
would have known. It was
hilarious. Debbie Finch, Beth
Jones, and Sally Jordan read
selections from Dorothy Parker’s
poems, monologues, and book
reviews. At the reception af
terwards, members of the
audience effused, “This is the
best presentation sponsored at
Salem yet!”
Beth Jones, in situ, welcomed
the audience on behalf of Sym
posium and “introduced” Dorthy
Parker. Sally Jordan opened with
“The Waltz,” an excellently
delivered monologue about a
dance you would rather sit out,
(an appropriate selection
following a Big 4 weekend).
Members of the audience found
themselves syrnpathizing with
the masochism that compels us to
be polite when we would rather
be truthful. After all, “What can
you say when a man asks you to
dance with him? I most certainly
will not dance with you. I’ll see
you in hell first,” or “Why, thank
you. I’d like to awfully, but I’m
having labor pains.” Although I
don’t believe Dorothy Parker
intended her poor heroine to
converse in a Southern accent.
Miss Jordan’s interpretation
was fortunate, considering her
audience.
hater, Miss Jordan gave an
equally successful reading of
The Little Hours,” the cir
cuitous thought of an insomniac,
juming back on its tail like the
Eternal Snake, only its tail was
baRochefoucauld. In her own
version of a Rolaids commercial,
frothy Parker, via Sally, lets us
®owhow she spejls ruin; “T-e-n-
f^ondthaler Award
Submissions Due
Four Katherine B. Rondthaler
wards will be given again this
spnng during the annual Awards
uay assembly May 11. The
ondthaler Awards, named to
honor the wife of Salem’s 12th
!5®®'^hnt’ were established by
me Alumnae Association in 1951.
prizes are awarded to
winners in the categories of
poetry and prose, music com-
and art (any medium),
alem students, regardless of
^^hgible to enter each
Winners will be
cted by off-campus judges.
thrf" u I turned in
Mang?L?'^r
Sana . art). Dean
the office (music), and
proseHouse (poetry and
space-o-apostrophe-c-l-o-c-k;
ruin. Early to bed, and you’ll
wi.sh you were dead.”
Miss Jordan also delivered a
brief biography of Mrs. Parker,
largely funny, but often pathetic!
Dorothy Parker was a member of
th famous Algonquin Round
Table. She was five feet tall. She
became excellent friends with
Robert Sherwood (6’7”), when
she protected him from a street
of midgets who hung onto his
knees as he walked. People were
drawn to her. She had a series of
husbands and lovers, all “hand
some, ruthless, and stupid.” She
drank too much, lied too much,
spent too much, and died, leaving
$2000 and all royalties to Martin
Luther King and the NAACP.
Debbie Finch interspersed the
longer pieces with short,
humorous poems, reflecting DP’s
views on sex and men, such as,
“Woman wants monogamy; -
Man delights in novelty,” and
“They (men) make me sick, they
make me tired,” delivered with
emphasis. She later read a
monologue, “The Middle or Blue
Period,” which particularly
.struck those middle-age in the
audience as tragically comic.
Her sardonic delivery also struck
t..ose middle-aged as harmonious
with the material. The
monologue reflected the feelings
of a woman who, on waking,
instinctively senses something
“terrible with raisins in it,” and
realizes it is middle-age.
Well, come on in, you’ve had
your foot in the door for ten years
now. Let me see your face. Oh, so
that's what you look like.
Beth Jones presented a won
derful review of Emily Post’s
book on etiquette, pointing out the
imaginative devices used, a
virtue that would have escaped a
less imaginative reader. Such
devices consist of the fanciful
replacement of dull names like
“Mr. A, B, C, or D” with more
inventive names like “Mrs.
Worldy, Mrs. Kindhearted, and
Mr. and Mrs. Nono Better.”
Cont’d. on two
APPEARING MON., FEB. 20 IN ‘HUMOR’ SERIES
TONY LAWRENCE — an up-and-coming young comedian, has
tonred with the USO in a production of “Guys and Dolls”, has acted
in commercials for Moomfagdales, Pepsi-Cola, and Chicken of the Sea.
He is currently appearing as a remdar at The Comedy Store in Los
Angeles, California, and is writing for Norman Lear Productions.
SALEnm:
Volume LX
Salem College, Winston-Salem, N.C., Friday, February 17, 1978
Number 12
Committee Discusses Change
Students Question Phys. Ed. Requirements
By Sarah Parsons
Smith College in Northampton,
Mass, offers physical education
courses on an elective, non-credit
basis. Thus, a student selects
physical education courses on her
own volition. Salem College
requires students to participate
in a 2-year structured program,
including three required courses.
The Physical Education Com
mittee hopes that eventually
Salem will have something in
common with Smith in the area of
Physical Education.
The committee’s members;
Sarah Parsons, Jane Dittmann,
Kate Wallace, Deenie Calk and
Stella littleton have examined
the differences in Salem’s P.E.
program and those of similar
colleges and now are en
couraging a free exchange of
student and faculty viewpoints on
this subject. The Committee is
particularly interested in
providing an impetus for change
in the current physical education
structure.
On Monday, Feb. 13 the
Committee met with Miss
Woodward, Miss Rufty, Mrs.
Miller and Dean Helmick to
discuss some of its concerns and
to allow members of the
department to share some of
their thoughts. Five recom
mendations were presented to the
Physical Education Department:
1) P.E. should be evaluated on a
PASS-FAIL basis, 2) the P.E.
program should not include
required courses, rather the
students should have freedom of
choice in the selection, 3) P.E.
should not be required for those
students who play two varsity
sports, 4) the P.E. department
should consider alternatives to a
Salem structured P.E. program
for credit, 5) P.E. should not be
required for married and con
tinuing education students.
The meeting was adjourned
before all the recommendations
were examined. A meeting is
scheduled for next week to
continue the discussion. The
committee encourages students
to become involved in this cause
and to express concern in the
area of the P.E. program.
11 Seniors Selected
Staff Report
History struck at Salem
College last semester, though few
realized it at the moment. The
first steps were taken then to
create Salem's own chapter of
Mortar Board, a society honoring
Senior women. Under the in
stigation of Dean Johnson and
Dean Helmick, eleven seniors
were chosen as charter mem
bers.
Mortar Board was founded in
1918 and has since grown to more
than 160 chapters across the
nation. Unlike Phi Beta Kappa,
whose membership is based
.solely on grade point average.
Mortar Board members are
selected on the basis of service
and leader.ship as well. It is an
active organization, not simply
another honor society. It is also
an indi\iduahstic association.
Each chapter is unique, and i.-
expected to l ontribute to camiius
and-or community life in its own
way. Only active > hapters
become affiliated with Mortar
Board: each must exist for five
years under another, name before
it is allowed to apply for mem-
bershif).
Current members of Salem's
chapter are Jane Dittmann.
Suzanne Eggleston, Jenny Eur\,
Beth Jones, Kathy Kirkpatrick.
Susan Leonard, Sarah Parsons,
Anne Piedmont, Ann Ree\ es.
Dawn Scott, and Margaretta
Yarborough. Officers will be
chosen and a name selected at
the next meeting, when the
society's program will be
planned as well. Later in the
spring, rising seniors will be
tapped into the organization.