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Student Life
Spring Break Heaven Or Hell?
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by Jenny Savage
As soon as everyone gets back
from their perspective Jan. terms
and is settled in for second semester,
the first topic of conversation is
usually the first questions asked.
As soon as everything is planned it
is right about the time that things
start going wrong and problems
arise. Let’s imagine that it is
almost one month until Spring
Break is to begin. Now, is when the
problems and misunderstandings
begin.
One month until Spring Break,
this is usually when the dieting
begins. You find what you think is
the perfect diet for you. You kow
the one; the one that is perfect for
your lifestyle and the "shape" of
your body. You begin the diet only,
to find out two weeks later, you
have not lost one pound. So what
do you do, you starve yourself,
which you also find is not the
perfect diet either. The next step is
accepting that you just might look
like a beached whale on the
beaches, but you convince yourself
that it doesn’t matter that you will
have fun anyway. Next, you go
shopping for the perfect Spring
clothes and the sexiest, but
tasteful, swimsuit.
You decide to make this little
adventure one you make by
yourself. You go to every store
imaginable, only to return back to
the dorm with maybe two pairs of
shorts, one shirt, and one sexy, but
getting less tasteful bathing suit.
After beating off the crowds at the
stores, and paying for over priced
clothing that you are not totally
satisified with, you find out one ot
your friends going with you has the
exact same shorts. Well, you are
thinking to yourself, "Wait till she
sees my bathing suit, no one has
this one." Then you whip out this,
what you think, incredible bathing
suit. Your friend ooohh’s and
aahh’s over it and tells you how
much she loves it, and as well as
showing her admiration for the suit
in the same breath, she tells you
that another friend has the exact
same one. Lo and behold, this
awful statement is true when you
see your other skinny, great bodied
friend with YOUR bathing suit on.
Once again, you tell yourself "I will
have fun anyway." Well, it is now
time to make last minute
preparations, and then the day
comes when you leave for your
totally awesome Spring Break.
The day has finally arrived. You
are packing the car to leave. The
driver of the car tells you that you
must sit on your lost piece of
luggage. You see, she has a five
passenger car with six passengers
travelling to Spring Break with
you. You are thinking to yourself
"Maybe I should just go home." But,
that thought quickly leaves your
mind when you notice a huge rain
cloud hovering over your head.
This time you think to yourself,
"Oh, it will'be nice where I am
going!" Ignoring the sudden
darkness that comes over you, the ‘
caravan finally heads out to your:
dream desitnation for Spring
Break.
After 15 hours in a five passenger
car with six passengers, you have
finally reached your destination.
You kiss the ground when you get
out of the car because it was only
supposed to be an eight hour trip.
off and head to the bathroom,
which is even worse. The shower
appears as if it has not been
cleaned up since the house was
built, as does the sink. It is at this
point that you decide that
footwear is a must whenever
entering this part of the house. You
then decide that it cannot get any
worse, but it does. Upon entering
the bedroom, you notice the lovely
rat traps under the bed. The next
thing to catch your eye is the
so-called draperies that appear as
if they had been used during World
War II. No, more likely, the War
of 1812. Once again ycu tell
yourself, "I will have fun!"
After unpacking, and realizing
your bag was one of three left on the
sidewalk in front of the dorm back
at school, the whole crowd goes out
You escaped death numerous times,
you got lost at least 35 times, and
you had a flat tire, as well. As soon
as you arise from this ceremony of
kissing the ground, you finally take
a gander at the house in which you
will be spending the next ten days
of your life and ask yourself if it’s
worth it. You decide to give the
quaint homestead a chance and go
inside to check it out. In the den,
there is outdoor furniture. You
laugh this off and head to the
kitchen, which being a Salem
student, you know you will be in
this room most of the time. The
kitchen is not much better. The
refrigerator appears to be at least
200 years old, with the stove and
siidc in close competition for second
oldest. You then casually turn on
the water, and what do you know,
but it is brown and smells like
rotten eggs. Again, you laugh this
to dinner. After nearly two hours of
trying to find somewhere everyone
likes, you arrive at the restaurant
only to find there is an hour wait.
You eat dinner and spot a prett)
cute looking college guy across the
room. He has on an Auburn
sweatshirt, and you decide he must
be on Spring Break as well. You
now have his face implanted in
your mind to remember tomorrow
when you are out on the beach.
After a night from hell on the bed
from hell, you are finally on the
beach enjoying the somewhat
sunny, but chilly weather. Of
course, you make yourself believe
that ’IT WILL GET WARMER!" Lo
and behold, you see the Auburn guy
from dinner. You can only see from
his waist up and he looks pretty
good so far, but then you see from
the waist down - SCARY! You are
amazed! You are dumbfounded!
You are completely let down! The
guy has on a leopard skin "weenie
bikini!" At this point you want to
dig a hole in the sand and crawl
into it because your friends are
hysterical at the guy you thought
was so cute! Once again, you tell
yourself, "I WILL HAVE FUN!"
It’s at this point that you take time
out to read the newspaper.
Out on the beach reading the
paper, you finally make it to the
weather section where it says,
"Rain, for the next five days!" You
are only going to be on Spring Break
for five more days! About this
time, sure enough the predicted
rain comes down in buckets, and
home has never looked so good
before.
Home cooking is not sounding too
bad either. After realizing you
have no money left and your ribs
are beginning to show, you think
about the pot roast your mother
makes. Upon becoming aware that
you are now drooling thinking about
that roast, it dawns on you that you
have no dinero for mother meal.
You were not good about budgeting
your money arwi thought you would
drii\k beer to oblivion and not worry
about eating, but you soon find out
this is not as easy as it sounds.
Luckily, you find some spam in your
house, the Taj Mahal, and you
decide that spam is not as bad as
you once thought! Now you
undestand why that starvation
diet you tried never lasted. Simply
because having the hearty
appetite we Salem women have/
we cannot go without eating! Once
again, you say "I WILL HAVE A
GOOD TIME."
’The rest of the week is basically
the same string of events, you are
still constantly telling yourself, "I
WILL HAVE FUN" and even after
all the same outfits, the beached
whale, the forgotten clothes, the
disgusting house, the
anything-but-wonderful weather,
and the geek from Auburn, you
decide you did actually have a
good time. Maybe not the best time/
but a good time none the less.
I hope none of you read any
characteristics of your Spring
Break in this. If you did maybe
next yecir you consider staying home
with mom and dad! Even if you did
notice some of these things and still
had fun, more power to you. These
events reflected in this article
have stemmed from my past
experiences, and I had fun, so it can
be done. Just remember next Spring
Break, watch out for guys bearing
"weenie bikini’s!"