Newspapers / Salem College Student Newspaper / April 21, 1992, edition 1 / Page 4
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p ^ 'ine .'icuemiic — ^ ^ An Education of a Different Kind by Elizabeth Sheehy My three years at Salem College have given me many gifts not the least of which is my friends. I have made three important discoveries since arriving at Salem in August of 1989,1 would like to share two very personal ones with you. Throughout my entire life I was always under the impression that people who were in counseling were crazy, well not exactly crazy but inadequate in some way. Tve always felt that if a person was having a problem in their life they should just deal with it and work it out themselves. I've always believed that your problems were your own and not something anyone else should be involved in or have to listen to . Unfortunately this is not always the best way to handle a difficult situation in our lives. When I was ten years old my parents separated. At the time my nwther asked me if I wanted to talk with a psychologist about the divorce be cause I seemed to be taking it too well. I declined her offer because even at that young age I knew there were some negative stereotypes to being in therapy and I felt like why would anyone want to hear what I thought. The hrst time 1 ever teceived atvy covw\se\mg-washy accideivt. \was sitting in Ty Rice's office for a career planning session second semester of my sophomore year. I had filled out a questiormaire about the satisfaction and quality of my life. Apparently, many of my answers left something to be desired because he began question ing me about them. After an hour and a half session I had tackled a few of the problems that had been troubling me. My career plans had gone no where but I felt like I had accomplished something even more important. I had overcome my fear of talking with a counselor and realized that that was what they were there for. Ty and I con tinued to discuss events and problems in my life that were bothering me. Even when everything in my life was going well I would still just sit and talk about things that were inconsequen tial. When I learned that Ty was leav ing I was disconcerted to say the least. I felt like we had really built a good re lationship and he had begun to help come to grips with different aspects of my life. First semester my junior year I didn't know who had replaced Ty and honestly 1 didn't do too much investi gating. In February 1 decided that 1 once again needed to ta\k with some one SO I made an appointment to sw Peggy McAlister. I went to see her filled with apprehension that I would resent her because she had taken T/s position I was also concerned that she wouldn't share the rapport Ty and I had. Fortunately none of my fears held any truth. By the end of our session I felt like we had become friends and I trusted her. Trust is very important to me because I have to believe I can tell my counselor anything. She is a wonderful listener and offers me the advice I need to her al though sometimes its not exactly what I want to hear. I now go to her regularly even when there isn't a problem and just talk. Another treasure I have discov ered at Salem is Debbie Cates. Tve al ways known Debbie was very friendly, but never thought of her as a counselor before. I became aware of her rare and special talent quite by accident (I seem to have a lot of accidents.) I was sitting in the Commons one morning waiting for a class when Debbie walked in ( her new office is there.) This particular day was a bad one. I had just had what was proba bly the best and the worst 48 hours of my life. 1 felt like I had met someone I really cared about and lost all my friends in what seemed like a matter of minutes. Debbie and I began talking about noth ing of interest and she asked me was everything O.K.? That was all it took. I needed someone to talk to none of my friends seemed up to the job and she wanted to listen. I talked with Debbie a great deal over that week and I must say she was a vital part in my handling the situations that had begun to overwhelm me. Up until that point I had no idea that Debbie Cates did anything other than planning social events, however I'm glad she does. There is a great deal to be said about someone you can talk with and share every confidence with knowing that they can be trusted. I have made wonderful friends over the past three years but confiding to them bout cer tain things leaves me feeling very vuner- able. However for me Peggy McAlister and Debbie Cates are two trustworthy friends I know are there for me, and will help every way they can. They are both great listeners and have offered me some invaluable advice. I'm glad I discovered them and their fare talents to not judge but just listen. They are both a great asset to Salem College and I for one am very grateful to them both. ■A Sign of the Times I compare this to my first couple of semesters at Salem, I truly felt like an outsider. I did not feel as if I was ac- by Dawn M. Darby Now is the time of which I must look back on my time here and make some attempts to capsulize my impressions nut reei as u i was ac- of the Salem Community. I feel very cepted as easily as some of my fellow conhdent m including myself in this transfers. I obviously was different in amily although I must say that upon more ways than my classmates real- arrival, It was quite the contrary. I came ized. I defintely did not have much in mid-way through my sophomore year common with most of my peers I was which may have been a part of theprob- an introvert who had a de^affection lem,however,Iknewthattheobstacles for blues and jazz, and I did nof wear I was to face grew much deeper than ribbons in my hair!! Those were some differences. Amajorbarrierwas Earlier tHs year I was confronted by a the inability my environment had to ve^ well known staff member on cam- communicate and celebrate with me pus who wanted to discuss my asses- these and other major differences The ARA if f was one of about four or five ARA. It was her opinion that the deci- other Afro-Americans on this camous sionwaspartiallybasedonrace,Iasked had disadvantages for us all Thn? her what she thought the problem with Old South, Rebel Hal WhsHneMxfe race was and she said,"You know, it themes which appaLtly dSS s arted way back in Afnca when the many of the social gatherings had to slaves came here, that was the first sin dissolve. The butler maid otheri My naturally reaction was to Salemites brought with them of Afrf remind her that slaves were brought Americans was being rehited?w here against their wills, they did not unknowingly, eHighte^ne f li' come to settle the new found lands mates on tl4cs rLp^ri f ^ ^ rather, to help work for those WASPS., my shampoo was no dffferem fmm raise the children you get the pic- theii. and that my purpose Ibegantolookatheranaiogycloserand ex^S^g that U wSfall closer and conclud^ that times have tosingleoutsomeonejfstb^^hev not changed as much as we would like were Black and expect them in forthemtohavebutthey/wpe changed, general spokesper^ for the fhSe race, as it was to assume that all whites in the south believe that if you're from New York you're a yankee ( simply not true folks!) It was finally confirmed that I was just as new to Salem as Salem was to me which was not an updated refelection for a lib eral arts college. I had just left a place where the ratio of interracial couples equalled the number of non-interracial couples and their was a gay community and I guess you get the picture. The point IS that environment accepted individu als not based upon scoio- ^onomic,sexual preference, or least importanly, race. The campus which was as compatible student to campus as Sa lem accepted people based on the fact at the world id diverse and equality on the workforce is a real thing. Therefore if S mVs 7'“™* “ O" ssrrreS women president fliis year, andV fost ^ro-Amencan to graduate from Salen! College was m the mid-70's. Salem is Kof casfonginoffmyattendanceherffo^^^^^^ IPs also funny to think of how just last year, many, ful thing and everybody pratically was afraid to speak to me. Most of the Afro- American students all ate breakfast, lunch and dinner together and people very seldom joined us. It is hard to be lieve that we were so segregated just one year ago 1991!! Surely it's time to grow together to fight the ignorance stemmed fear of things and people who are different. I was deeply inspired by Dr, Maya Angelou who challenged an auditorium fill with vibrant, diverse women writers to have the courage to step into the unknown for answers, compromise and change as well. Uniquness is the key, days of assimila tion are dwindling, I believe it went out with the Home Economics major here at Salem, the cirriculum is updating and so should we on population diversity. We first have to show ourseleves friendly we would not be here if we did not want to be here and that is a strong enough commonality to start breaking the ice of overlooking each other. I mean you know we really are too small in terms of being close-knit to have clicks. To the rest of the world we are a family of strong determined, leaders of today and tomorrow, leTs start owning up to that properly.
Salem College Student Newspaper
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April 21, 1992, edition 1
4
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