Pag€ 4
GOLDSBORO HI NEWS
STANLEY STATIC
As the motion^^^has been neither
made nor seconded that this annoy
ance be discontinued we shall continue
where we left off last time. If I re
member correctly it was at the bot
tom of the page. But I won’t bring
that up—I like leaving off at the bot
tom better. On the other iTand (left
hand—not right) if anyone makes th6
already mentioned motion I will sec
ond it myself and send the “motroner”
a check for ten dollars. To save both
parties from embarrassment I will
make it anonymous. But if he or she
(.as the case may be) prefers a ten
dollar bill, I will send one as the
charge for insult. The first of the
month is the usual time for sending
these out. All I know is what I read
In the paper (last edition of the High
School News).
Christmas, • Christmas, is coming;
The bills are getting fat..
Please drop a penny
In the poor man’s hat.
If you haven’t got a penny,
A half-penny will do;
If you haven’t got a half-penny,
Stick out your hat, too.
Christmas ain’t what it used to be.
The boys and girls don’t wait for
Santa Claus any more—they know it
ain’t no use; they broke him and the
puto both when they went to the
Thanksgiving football game. The big
Christmas tree has been reduced to a
little stub that sits on the table; one
more merry couple can dance on the
floor space it took up. It puts a fel
low to thinking—that's what hurts—
'vhen he remembers when he used to
go to bed early to keep from being
caught by Santy when he comes; now
he takes his shoes off at the front door
to keep from being caught by the same
old Santy who has been in for hours
Which all goes to show you that some
stories are funnier than others.
You can tell that Christmas is coming;
The girls are getting fellows.
Even the most unpopular guy
Hears a lot of “helloes.”
And the way that girls are talking;
The way they make a hint
You would think they were talking to
The Boss man of the mint.
Some fellows say that they owe
themselves for all they’ve done. It is
wonderful to be out of debt.
Page five of this paper is dedicated
to the most progressive and best look
ing class in the high school. Don’t
hlush, freshmen. The sophomores, it
is supposed, have sense; but therfe is
some advice that I would give them.
1. Set the jOfiiors as your ideal—
at least, they Aren’t sophomores any
more.
2. Be different—pass all your work.
3. Go up—visit any office in the
bmk building that’s not on the first
floor.
4. Gain popularity—go to New York
raid back on one dollar (How about it,
George?)
5. ,riieep your books nice and clean
-.—put them in your locker and lose the
key. On the last day of school buy
another key for twenty-five cents.
6. Make one package of paper last
a year—buy the paper and leave it
home for the year. There are six
hundred students in this school; so
you won’t have to borrow from the
bame one twice.
By reading the above very carefully
and by bringing flowers and fruits to
school you might be a junior next year,
but it’s doubtful; unless your father
changes his name to the one you have
i:ow.
Remember one thing, you are a
rophomore but once—maybe for a life
time.
Seeing that little whale up town
leminded me of what Monk said when
the teacher brought the globe in the
loom: “Humph, I thought the world
'' ...^ oiggfer thui.^
The most wonderful place in North
Carolina is the seashore. There you
can hear the seas and see the sound.
What makes Ralph Giddy?
Eugene Garris is one of the most
talented persons taking first-year
French.' Miss Kornegay asked him
the feminine of a certain word. He
explained that he couldn’t say it but
he could smell it. That’s talent.
Has Ralph forgotten “Hall”?
I wish everybody a merry Christmas
and Happy New Year. I hope Santa
Claus visits every member of the fac
ulty and fills his sock or her stocking
\a's the case may be) wlt'i the very
thing they want. But Miss Roark’s
man can’t get in a stocking. She
ought to hang a ’toe sack by the rad
iator.
Yours till,
Niagara Falls
and li,
’Morehead Bluffs.
LETTER TO SANTA
Goldsboro Hi School
Dear Old Santa:
*The students of G. H. S. are expect-
in,;j‘ a big time this Christmas. To be
sure, you won”t forget any of our
teachers. I am writing you a letter
and telling you what all of them
want. I am writing this letter early,
so you can have everything in time,
because they want so much I am
afraid you and Mrs. Santa Claus will
have to get to work and wrap up the
curious things they want. But they
. v»'ish to have their orders filled cor
rectly, so here goes the names of the
teachers and their wants:
Miss Mason wants a big • stick of
red peppermint candy, sweet enough
to sweeten her disposition to put up
with some of her bookkeeping stu
dents. Mr. Green wants anything he
can get. May I suggest a wife? '
Miss Atkins wants a chauffeur with
qualifications like those of Blackwell
Robinson. Miss Ipock wants - a new
set of Algebra students that can de
pend on themselves. Is such a thing
possible? Miss Roark is still waiting
fcr a man. Come on,, give some nice
fellow a break, Santa Claus. Mrs. Cox
wants sound-proof rooms, so she won’t
have to let the school know how dumb
lier first period class is. Mr. Bullock
is getting desperate; he wants a book
to select original jokes from, because
the students are not laughing at hi’s
s?ale ones. Mrs. Middleton wants an
other ideal Latin student like Charles
Worrell to take with her, when she
visits Rome. Mr. Helms .wants to
grow. I have my doubts if this want
, can be fulfilled. Miss Taylor wants a
new pair of oxfords, so she can go
p.: a ’possum hunt. Mr. Wilson wants
a marriage license and a cute little
cozy nest. Oh! Mr. Wilson. Miss Sher-
v;ood wants some brave person with
a hearty appetite to eat the biscuits
her cooking classes bake.
Mr. Sansbury wants a new starter
for his car so he won’t have to crank
it. and get the Hee Haw! after school.
P/Iiss Kornegay wants a good bunch
■ from which to pick the cast of the
Junior play. Miss Beasley wants to
learn Clara Bow’s technique. Mr. Har-
vel envies Paul Whiteman. Is there
a chance? We think so anyway. Miss
Gordner wants to be editor-in-chief of
some big paper. Miss Koch wants her
hair to curl. Well that’s that. The
robove includes all the. teachers and
tne things they are. expecting you to
brmg them Christmas. Santa Claus.
I nearly forgot some of the students,
v^ho will not have time to write you
and are afraid you might forget them
and who have asked me to remind you
of them in his letter. Of course, I am
including the things they want for
Christmas also. So here goes! Sara
Lee Best wants a soft, sweet voice (no
chance). - Myrtle Musgrave wants a
teacher who believes in chewing gum.
Nancy Bridgers wants a new car. Vir-
MILLER’S
GOLDSBORO DRUG COMPANY
Sell the best Fountain Pen for
One Dollar ever made
WAYNE TIRE
COMPANY
Goodyear
[TIRES
Vulcanizing
- ulitL
Expert Tire Service
Wilmington, N. C. Phone 423
Goldsboro, N. C. Phone 1047
Trade at
“Leader of
Low Prices^’
giiiia Crow wants a new crush, even an
•’Orange” one. Arthur Allred wants a
way to keep from blushing, when a
teacher asks here a question. Alton
Ward wants to be in an orchestra like
the one that played at the dance, in
Wilson, Monday night, December a,
1^30. “Hemp” Edgerton wants a cute,
girlish figure. Pete Heyward wants to
be tall so he can say, “How’s the
weather down there?” to Thurman
Merritt. Lucille Summerlin wants to
grow up so she can wear high heeled
shoes. Isabel Baddour wants to live
up to her sister Evelyn’s name, as the
little Bad-dour girl. . That’s the end of
the students and now - to give you a
hint, as to what I’d like to have.
I want a thing with four wheels (no
brakes), an engine, two white lights,
a red Ighf, A top painted blue and a
white body with blue fenders. It comes
out at night. It’s not a buggy, or a
truck. The hint is only in case you do,
Here’s wshing you a Merry, Merry
Christmas, and a Happy and Success
ful New Year.
Lots of love,
“Kyks.”
SCHOOL DAYS
It. ■ ' ai»e
SHOE DAYS
MERIT SHOE CO.
Compliments of
ROYALL & BORDEN
FURNITURE CO.
Dependable Fumitnr^
Since
1885
‘‘The Goops they lick their fingers.
And the ,Gocps they lick their
knives;
They spill their broth on the table
cloth— '
Oh, they lead digusting lives!
The Goops they talk while eating,
And loud and fast they chew;
And that is why I’m glad that I
Am not a Goop—ai-e you?”
THE MOST EXCLUSIVE
in Frocks
and Youthful Coats
always—
Neil Joseph’s Shop
Jinnette
Shoe
Shop
Electrical repairing while you wait
Also called for and delivered
Phone 353
Best Leather ; Goodyear Heels
Clement
Photographs
kJI.
N. JACOBI
HARDWARE
COMPANY
“The House Your Father
Dealt With”
Character
Telephone 281
Peacock Grocery
The Home of
FANCY GROCERIES
Phone 1236
904 E. Ash
Robinson’s
Luncheonette
Service
Special 25c Lunch
GoWsboro’s Leading Soda
Fountain '
Johnston’s Candies
Schaeffer’s Pens and Pencils
Robinson’s
Drug Store
KINNEY
SHOE STORE
You Can Always Save at
KINNEY’S
Beautiful Shoes and Hosiery
for the Entire Family :
You’ve heard it said
often — that this is a
young people’s world.
Will you be prepared-to
grasp every opportun
ity ?
A good size Savings
Account at this well-
known bank will prepare
you for your future.
The Wayne National Bank
GOLDSBORO, N. C.
“Dependable for Two Greneratlons”