Newspapers / Goldsboro High School Student … / Feb. 28, 1931, edition 1 / Page 4
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Page 4 GOLBSEORO HI NEWS STANLEY STATIC Well, here I am writing this month ly nuisance. I was going to express my thoughts; but Miss Gordner said she wanted something written below, not just a blank space, so here goes: Mary had a little lamb; Its fleas were white as snow. And everywhere that lamb went The fleas were siu’e to go. Now the height of my conversation is this: Paul Merritt Is back in town. Paul says we’re going to White Lake this summer. Paul is some cook, too. Last year he cooked the squash so un recognizable that everybody thought it was chicken. That’s fowl play, huh? Now'that that superlative contest is ovei', as school advisor, I wish to ad vise these people with such noticeable characteristics how to live up to their title: Prettiest girl—To live up to this title you must comb your hair back of your ears and smile like Greto Oarbo. Most handsome boy—Use a bottle of vaseline or quinine de Lux on those curly locks and learn how to jerk your tie and wiggle your chin. (You know how.) The most popular girl—Tell all the boys they’re the best dancers you’ve seen, (at different times, however). Most popular boy—When in the li brary give every girl special attention and conversation. Best all around girl and boy—Set a barrel as your ideal. Most talented boy and girl—Take correspondence courses in piano, voice, drawing, et cetera. Most studious boy and giri—Take vour books home, (anyway appearance counts a lot). Most athletic girl—Set a basket as 'your goal. Most athletic boy—Have a name cheerleader Exum can spell. Most original boy and girl—Sub set ibe to any unpopular joke maga zine. ^ Witties boy and girl—Practise before the mirror until you really are funny. Sleepiest boy and girl—Make school iays dream daze. Best dancer: Boy and girl—Just dance on your own feet. I wish I was as sure of graduating ti'tis spnng as these colleges are. How many seniors, instead of grad uating, are gradually waiting until the school burns down? What do you think of anybody who Aould copy somebody else’s t3TDewrit ing? Aaron s Kopy Kat column aieows. IS rne Dear Little Reader, I am having a very difficult time niung up this column every month, ff you have any thing you wish to say poem or editorial you’ve written, or a picture of yourselve or friends, I will gladly put it in the joke column. Yours truly, .I’ve been wondering what is so at- tx active to the Goldsboro boys in Wil- ;3on; so I went over there Sunday. When you fellows go again, let me ^o with you. 52SIph must be eating too much bar- rcue or something. He makes lov« to m pig Latin. : ittlelay Alphray oveslay ittleby Arymay osay uchmav— Aint it eetsway? beard of Bushnell Andrews; the chassis of Alton West; the height of “Coo Merritt; the legs of Fete Hey wood; the ears of King Ferguson; and the feet of myself. It had the aTTflfctic ability of Buster Starr; the dancing ability of Keith Eutsler; and the talent of Piggy Groves. I was going to say Sammy Carr’s mustache but we must learn to overlook trifles. As I was sitting there reading “Our -anine Friends" out of the trash bas set rcte ethe masculine form of Venus ae Milo. Then almost as quickly it gone—back into the fog from whence it came. As I tried to'forget it (but couldn’t) it had the hair of Arthur Allred; the nose of Bill Smith; the neck of Willoughby Gardner; the mustache of Blacwell Robinson; the Lady Pate eyed them, row after row. And picked them out ever so slow. Some went ahead and some went back; Some speeded up and some got slack. Some stood strong, some got frail; Some would pass, some would fail. Down the rows the scanning went Till an hour ws almost spent. He was next to get his share; Ho looked at the lady with a dying stare. His lips formed a sickening frown—■ He would be next in go‘f5g down. So bravely he stood—holding high his head; In a nerve-wrecking tone he quivered and said That which made the whole room jar: “Madamoselle Kornegay, je he sais pas!” All under-classmen getting ones on exam’s are exempted. Back to that superlative contest— there are two disappointments in the results. I was going to get it for the most studious and best athlete, but the wise are always a small minority. The postman came that morning at nine And brought Miss Priss a valentine. She thought it from Billy, the bank er’s son. Or that good-looking dude, Aaron Dunn. She was so made her heart wouldn’t beat; It was from that.mean little devil across the street. “All the world’s a stage,”' but what’s that got to do with valentines? Yours ’til, water works and tragic plays Dundee crossed the room, stepping over dead man’s neck—a swank affair of dark, polished wood, with a heavy knob of carved onyx.—“Great Neck.” —Spice of Life. ■‘On bokes for to rede I me delyte’ Chaucer. 7“ MILLEE^S GOLDSBORO DKUG COMPAXY Sell the best Foantain Pen for One Dollar ever miade WAYNE TIRE COMPAN'T ©nodyemr TIRES ' Vulcaiumig- and Expert Tirtf Service U ilmington, N, C. Phone 42:) Goldsboro, N. Pijoiie 2047 Trade at ‘‘Leader Law Frfcesi'’' TERM HONOR ROLL Elizabeth Smith, Ernest Eutsler, Mary A. Dewey, Helen Ellenwood, Katherine Crow, E23ra Griffin, Aaron Epstein, Arthur Allred, Lillian Gor don, Edward Outlaw, Mary A. Dees, Thelma Ginn, Helen Smith, Doro thy Langston, Lillian Edgerton, Clarence Wilkins, Nora Lancaster, Blackwell Robinson, Pete Heyward, and William Houston. THE BEST VALUES IN TOWN SHOES and HOSIERY merit shoe CO. 107 W. Walnut St, Dear Dizzy Izzy, There’s a boy in my history class in whom I am interested. I sit on one side of the room and he sits on the other. What can I do to make him look my way? Lazy Lizzie Lazy Lizzie:' Come out of your laziness and throw an eraser at him. I’m quite sure he’ll look your way and he might come over and sit with you. Compliments of EOYALL & BOEDEN FURNITURE CO. Dependable Furnitur# Since 18S3 Dear Dizzy Izzy, When was petting started? Ritzie Rita Ritzie Rita: King Soloman gave the Queen of Sheba wine and nectar. THE MOST EXCLUSIYE in FroCiks and* Youthful Coats always— , Neil Joseph-s i Jmneite Sho€ Shop Electrical repairinj: while you wait Also called for and delivered Flione 353 Best Leather : Goodyear Heels li Plioto^raDhs of Laracter Telephone 28". N. JACOBI HARDWARE COiWANY ‘The House Your Father Dealt With - Peacock Grocery The Home of FANCY GROCERIES Phone 133^ 904 E. Ash Robinson’s Luncheonette ’ Service Special 2oc Lunch Goldsboro’s Leading Soda Fountain Johnstonis Candies Schaeffer’s PSns and Pencils Robinson’s KINNEY/'" SHOE STORE You Can Always Save at KINNEY’S Beautiful Shoes and Hosiery for the Entire Family You’ve heard it said often — that this is a young people’s world. Will you be prepared to grasp every opportun ity? A good size Savings Account at this well- known bank wlli prei>are .vou for your future, ■ Tin Wayoe National Bank GOLDSBORO, N. C. for Two Generations^’’
Goldsboro High School Student Newspaper
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Feb. 28, 1931, edition 1
4
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