Page Six
GOLDSBORO HIGH NEWS
y
April 8, 19;
SOME BIED
A little boy’s essay on geese:
“A geese is a low, heavy set boid
which is mostly meet and feathers.
His head sits on one side and he sits
on the other. A geese can’t sing
much on account of dampness of the
moisture. He ain’t got no between-
his-toes and he’s got a little balloon
on his stomach to keep him from
sinking. Some gooses when they
gits big has curls on their tals and
is called ganders. Ganders don’t
haff to sit and hatch, but just eat
and loaf, and go swimmin’. If I
was a goose, I’d rather be a gander.”
—Copied.
The lightning-bug is brilliant,
But he hasn’t any mind.
He stumbles through existence.
With his headlight on behind.
•—Copied.
BADDOUR BABBLES
Well, folks, here I are again—■ | I suggest Miss Gordner as head of
much to the disgust of all the the Unemployment Committee. How
teachers. that lady can hand out jobs!
TOWN TALK SUITS
The Most Sensational Suit Value
in America
OUR NEW LOW PRICE $12.50
The Best Furnishings
For Young Men are found at
E. D. SMITH’S
119 E. Walnut St.
Alec Brown told me not to tell you
all he had a girl over in Freemont—
so I won’t. Anything to oblige—you
know.
Watch out for April 32 issue. I’ll
give you all the honor roll now:
Bill Daniels, Alec Brown, Dick
Thornton, Lillian Hall.
Wanted: The guy what stole our
cream puffs. If he is found living,
please give name of the hospital.
Petit and Izzy.
Our worthy debater, Blackwell,
when requested to ask the blessing at
dinner bowed his head and mur
mured, “Mr, Chairman, Honorable
Judges, Ladies and Gentlemen.”
l^ote: Opponents were not in
cluded in the prayer.
Dumb: Which do you like best ]
consomme or bouillon?
Bell: Cold cash.
Corine had a hack seat reserved
for a boy who was coming down for
the debates and her. Now, Jean, why
the hach seat?
CRACKLINGS
A teacher received two RAISES.
Her pay was raised and the land
lady raised the rent.
For Quick & Courteous
Service Visit
BALL PARK SERVICE
STATION
OPEN DAY AND NIGHT
The following notice was placed
each day on a “big business man’s”
store:
Gone to lunch. Will take thirty
minutes. Already gone twenty-five.
Sweets for the sweet, have some ?
Yeah—Have some coocoons?
/r-
HICKS & HAWLEY’S
DRUG STORE
Hotel Golsboro
Goldsboro, N. C.
The school’s just overrun with no-
bility since “Monsieur Beaucaire”
was selected as the hit of the year,
and girls who weren’t ladies are
Ladies now.
Louise F.: Miniver Cheevy, child
of scorn, cursed the day that he was
born.
Grace P.' That ain’t so. Can t
nobody “cuss” that young.
In the story of the college require
ments they left out “money.” Please,
mam, what college is that?
Her eyes fill with tears. She looks
down tenderly at it. She cannot
stand this much longer; she doesn’t
know where she got the strength to
look and even hold it. Why was this
blot placed upon her happiness. Ah!
Maybe this is the last. No. There
is more. She sets her teeth and looks
grimly down at it and mutters
bravely, “I’ll peel this onion yet.”
Next time we have visiting boy
scholars I’m going to hire Jabez’s
office and charge girls ten cents ad
mission, so we can run our paper.
Well, boys, if you want to see love
making done in “zee goud ould
French vay” don’t miss the play. And
if you esk me, it comes mighty na
tural to Frances and Edgar. I won
der if it’s talent or ?
Edgar says it’s talent, Frances sez
it’s—well—it’s—or-
Well, I gotta hush now. Got real
work to do. Can’t mess with you kids
any longer. This means teachers too.
Pie Crust: What does the word
chauffeur mean, daddy ?
Dad; That is the name given to
the driver of an automobile.
Pie Crust (after thinking a mo
ment) : That wasn’t the name you
gave that man that nearly ran over
you the other day.
Miss Gordner: John, this essay
on your trip is word for word like
Bill’s.
John: Yes mam, we took the same
trip together.
Then there is the boy who wants
school to close. His only reason
“I can’t learn anything because t
teacher changes the lesson eve
dav.”
Mr. Wilson: Your boy seei=
backward in his reading. \
Father: Well, I suppose he tai=
after his mama. She always rea^
the last chapter first. |
Looking at “Long John” steppii
around here, sporting a walkii
cane, one would think he had hi^
one of his pet corns stepped on. *■
George Starr stole a base durii
the game with Warsaw. The crool.
Do you know you are helping
buy the auditorium curtain wh
you attend the Junior Play?
Personal
STATIONERY
200 Sheets Writing Paper (Tl .00
100 Enyelopes to Match •
Name and Address Printed in
Blue Ink
Sent Prepaid Orders Cash
Joe F. Morris
Box 782 Goldsboro, N. C.
SENIOES TAKE SCHOLAR
SHIP EXAMINATIONS
Camille
Shoes for the Co-Ed
in Natural and Tan, also
Black and White
All Sizes and Widths
BELK’S
All
High
School
I Students
Boys and Girls
Know the Value
of Trading at
PENNEV’S
“For Better Quality and
Lower Prices”
Visit J. C. Penney
HAD YOU?
Several members of the Senior
Class are competing for scholarships
I offered by various colleges.
; Helen Smith, Martha Peacock,
j Dorothy Hooks, lola Lewis, and
[Dorothy Langston plan to take the
competitive examination from
Brenau College. Each year twelve
scholarships valued at $1,000 each'
are given. The examination will
consist of English, algebra, geometry,
history, and one subject to be se
lected by the student himself.
Lillian Edgerton and Dorothy
Langston will try for the scholarship
offered by Agnes Scott College,
based on a four-subject examination.
Isn’t it peculiar that Edgar Pear
son and Frances Bass play opposite
each other in one of the love scenes
in “Monsieur Beaucaire.”
Wait until you see Janet Sanborn
in Robert Piland’s arms (whata-
man!).
Would you go to the “Edge-r-ton”
for some “Herring” and “Bass” if
the weather were “Rainey?”
Had you rather go to “Pi-land”
where all is “Sweet” or to a “Dail”
where the “Roses” bloom?
Had you rather “Carra-way” a
“Bad-dour” or “Weil” a “Monk”
around ?
Had you rather be “Black,”
“White,” “Brown,” or “Greene?”
Had you rather be a “Baker” or
“Porter,” or one who “Parks” in a
“Carr?”
Had you rather be a “Duke” in
a “Royall” family, or a “Workman”
in a “Gin(n)?”
MATTHEWS’
MOTOR CO.
MILLER’S f
Goldsboro Drug Co.
Is the Place to Buy Your E
FOUNTAIN PENS, INK, °
)
and PENCILS
If You Want to Look Your^^
Best When He Calls,
Go to t
Mrs. W. L. Benson’s *
Beauty Parlor
213 East Ash Street ^
rr-
Did you know that the cast in the
Junior Play weighs over a ton?
McArn Best was trying to explain
to Frank Daniels the difference be
tween mass and volume during a
physics experiment. After crumb
ling a piece of paper in her hand,
she said, “You see this is mass.”
She clinched her fist, and said, “you
see this decreases the volume.” Hold
ing out her hand, “here you want
to squeeze it.” Frank, blushing,
“Oh! Ah! You mean the paper.”
I i
i J. ANDREW SMITH j
i i
I WHOLESALE GROCERY j
I World’s Best Flour |
I Phone 101 j
i !
FULL SUPPLY ’
of li
EASTER CANDIES
at
McLELLAN’S ^
't
Zee French ^Ad Zee Woid
For It
WE HAVE A PLAY FOR IT
THE HIT OF THE YEAR
“MONSIEUR BEAUCAIRE”
Matinee for Children at 3 o’clock—25c
Evening at 8 o’clock—50c
PLAY TO BE GIVEN AS SOON AS
AUDITORIUM IS FINISHED
YOUTH and BEAUTY
Contained in every jar of
the famous
HELENA RUBINSTEIN
corrective beauty preparation
OPERA SHOPPE
Phone 555
Wayne Laundry and J
Dry Cleaners
)
Quality and Service
WE CALL FOR AND DELIVEB*
PHONE 147 j
Compliments of
ROYALL & BORDEN
Dependable Furniture
Since 1885
(
SANITARY MARKET i
I I
i “Oldest Market in Town” )
j 124 E. Walnut St. |
i
i Phones 549 - 550 |
i I
Say—One Thing
I sure feel good
after drinking ^
that Orange Crush
ORANGE CRUSH t
BOTTLING CO. ’
A Modern Drug Store
to fill your every
Drug Need
We Deliver Anywhere
Any Time
Phone 823
Robinson^s Drug Store
CLEMENT’S i
‘‘Photographs and Miniatures|
of Character”