Newspapers / Albemarle High School Student … / March 30, 1979, edition 1 / Page 3
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March 30,1979 THE FULL MOON Snoopy Sniffer Strikes Again Pages By MELISSA McKEITHEN One of the most common irritations in life is the television commercial. Almost everyone at some point has been engrossed in the plot of a television show only to have a crucial scene in terrupted by the plight of Mr. Whipple’s customers who simply can’t resist squeezing the toilet paper. Next, Madge the manicurist entertains everyone with her razor sharp wit and some poor slob is having difficulty with his lovelife (“Jack- hardly notices me anymore.”) and is spending a month’s salary on a new outfit. Luckily, however a concerned friend convinces him that the clothes won’t help but a certain tooth-paste will surely do the trick. Very late that night the girl or guy comes in and tells the friend that things are just super (thanks to the toothpaste, we are to assume). However, it does not take a particularly observant person to note that the person is also wearing the new clothing. Therefore, we never really know what the solution to the problem was. Finally, the television show comes on again, but the viewer has forgotten the plot. Fur thermore, with these and other commercials in his thoughts, he is rapidly becoming convinced that he is a failure in life. He uses bargain brand toilet paper, good old fluoride toothpaste and generally buys “the cheaper brand” of everything. It is for this person that the following GUIDELINES TO SUCCESS have been established: 1. Have Marcus Welby, M.D. over to your house for dessert and immediately blame your coffee for all your problems. 2. Live next door to Florence Henderson, or at least have her kids in your carpool, so that you get your daily allowance of Vitamin C. 3. When you visit your next door neighbor be sure she has just returned from grocery shopping, so you can try her brand of peanut butter. 4. Always look for your reflection in the dishes. 5. When you use certain soaps, you must have an outdoor shower. 6. Buy a different soap for every member of the family. Then have each member use dad’s soap so it will be the smallest soap in the house. 7. Sing about your cleaning products as you use them. 8. Criticize your hostess’ pie crust to her face. 9. Make tactless comments about the smell of your neigh bor’s home (“Where are the 65 cats?”). 10. Tell everyone about your family’s cures for con stipation and diarrhea. 11. Stay on the lookout for the hidden camera everywhere you go. 12. Look for Big Sal whenever you are on the highway. 13. Expect monthly visits from Snoopy Sniffer. 14. Buy every possible com bination of soft and pretty toilet paper. 15. Most importantly: make sure that you can eat your soup with a fork and serve your cake in a pudding dish, your pie crust is flaky and your chicken and fries are not greasy, and that your popping corn pops the top right off the popper. Follow these guidelines and before you can say LEPINC you’ll be living a life just like those happy, beautiful people you see on TV! Skateboarding Fever Reaches Albemarle ByMlTZI MORRIS Back in the 60’s, skateboards were first introduced to the nation. At this time, they were nothing more than a fad like hula- hoops and poodle skirts. Since that time skateboarding has become one of the fastest growing sports in America. Skateboarding was first in vented when California and Florida surfers wanted to try sidewalk surfing while waves were bad; however, the sport didn’t become popular until Frank Dasworthy invented the urethane wheel which helped prevent skateboarders from killing themselves. Since 1973 over 50 million skateboards have been sold in the U. S. bringing in over one billion dollars. Skateboard tournaments, teams, courses, magazines (like Skateboarder Magazine) and even movies (such as “Freewheelin’ ” starring Stacey Peralta) have come about. Also millions of skateboard parks have sprung up around the country. After Skateboard City debuted as the first skateboard park in the U. S., other parks like the Paved Wave and the Solid Surf became popular spots. Not only has skateboarding hit California and Florida but it has hit Albemarle as well. In Senior High there are three skateboard competitors, Mark Hawn, Jeff Efird, and Eric Cook. Mark has been skateboarding around one year. He first began skateboarding when someone made fun of him for not being able to skate. Mark admits he spends a lot of time perfecting his skateboarding techniques. He practices at least one hour a day during the school year, but when summer comes he practices nearly all the time. Eric has been skateboarding for four years. He started skateboarding simply because all of his friends were doing it. He Mark Hawn demonstrates skateboard skill. , insists that he can do anything on a skateboard although he has had several accidents. Jeff has been skateboarding for almost two years. He began just for the fun of it. He commented “It’s different, exciting, hardly anybody else does it.” Jeff ad mits that he falls off his skateboard a lot but just refers to it as having a “little accident.” Even though he wears pads he has still sustained several minor injuries. Although Mark, Eric and Jeff have had accidents, they haven’t given up. They have progressed from “simple” freestyle spins to more complicated and challeng ing moves. Even though Jeff feels that skateboarding is dying out in Albemarle, don’t think that the 70’s will see the decline of the skateboard popularity. There is talk of entering skateboarding into the 1980 Olympics at Moscow. So watch out! Skateboarding isn’t just a fad! Mrs. Hatley and Mrs. Dennis have been honored as teachers of the year. Students Pick Teachers Of The Year Mrs. Dennis and Mrs. Hatley have been chosen by the students as “Teachers of the Year.” The selection of these two teachers reflects the students’ immense appreciation for the interest and dedication these two have shown. Mrs. Dennis, who has been teaching at ASHS for four years, received her B.A. in English from Pfeiffer College and her masters degree at UNC-CH. She teaches English and also devotes a great deal of her time to the annual staff and cheerleading squad. When asked why she teaches, Mrs. Dennis stated simply that she enjoys it and that she “likes kids”. • Mrs. Hatley graduated from Wake Forest University where she majored in Science. At Senior High, however, she teaches Algebra I, Algebra II, Calculus, and Business Math. In addition to her full teaching schedule, Mrs. Hatley works with the Senior Council in her role of Senior Class sponsor. A nine year member of the ASHS faculty, Mrs. Hatley said, “I enjoy teaching and work ing with young people. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t do it.” Congratulations are extended to these two teachers for their outstanding service to the students of ASHS. If is the Spring, it is the certain Spring. And all is well. . . — Charles Erskine Scott Wood / wandered lonely as a cloud that floats on high o'er vales and hills, When all at once I saw a crowd, A host of golden daffodils. — Wordsworth Natures first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold. 1^ I , u Her early leaf's a flower, But only so an hour. . . — Frost Oh give us pleasure in the flowers today; And give us not to think So far away. . . — Frost i. € \ Smell of the young spring grass. You're a mascot riding on the wind horses. You came to my nose and spiffed me. This is your lucky year. — Sandburg
Albemarle High School Student Newspaper
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March 30, 1979, edition 1
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