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THE FOOL MOON
April Fool’s Day, 1980
School Used To Be Fun .. .
A few months ago the school
administration changed the
number of lunch periods from
three to four, cutting down on the
number of students the cafeteria
has to serve at one time and giv
ing everyone forty-five minutes
to an hour to eat. In my opinion
that change was a crummy thing
to do to us! School no longer
seems like school. All of the fast
paced action of fourth period is
gone.
Take for example the fun
created by daring someone to
walk up the lobby stairs with an
arm load of books when the lunch
bell rings, while 200 starving kids
barrel down upon him as they
race to the cafeteria. The thrill
has disappeared because no one
runs any more with an hour to
eat.
Another disheartening factor of
the new schedule is the food line
is never long. A student can no
longer hope to be late for class
because they haven’t eaten yet.
Also since there is enough time to
eat, kids cannot gulp down their
food in a few minutes before the
bell rings, causing them to throw-
up upon entering the room and be
sent home with the excuse “sud
den illness”. Another bad point is
that with the additional time and
fewer students the cafeteria
never runs out of food. Now,
without a valid reason, a person
with “tattle-tell” brothers and
sisters also at the high school
cannot eat only ice cream, unless
they live in fear of having Mom
take away their lunch money.
I hope this editorial will open
up the eyes of the administration
to the wrongs committed against
the students because of the
cafeteria change. All we ask is to
be returned to the good old days
of lunch room havoc. We cannot
function in these orderly sur
roundings, so please give us back
the noisy halls, the long lines, the
food shortage, and the lack of
time. School was a lot more fun
the way it used to be.
Is life treating you bad? Seek help from Ms. Mumbles.
ELESHA MUMBLES . . .
Humpback Victim Cured
B ULLDOG
BARFS
Spring football practice began
March 17, 1980 for those in
terested in playing football this
coming fall. A Full Moon staff
member reported to the practice
field and found neither coaches
nor players present. An attempt
was made to contact Coach
Holcomb but The Full Moon was
informed Holcomb was in Myrtle
Beach for a short vacation. One
undisclosed player was heard as
saying, “It’s just as good
Holcomb wasn’t available for
comment. No one could have
understood him anyways.” With
dedication, commitment, and
devotion such as that displayed
on March 17, the whole Full Moon
staff would like to wish the
Bulldogs the best of luck in 1980.
Recently announced by Dr.
Brown, Superintendent of
Albemarle Schools is the begin
ning of a new sports team here at
the Senior High. The new sport
will be “tiddlewinks” and will
have games prior to basketball
games in the winter. Teams will
consist of four members each,
with tryouts taking place in about
one month. Albemarle will com
pete with other SPC teams during
the season. When asked why the
Bulldogs wanted to take part in
such a sport. Dr. Brown replied,
“We might be able to win at least
one conference crown.”
***!)!
The Albemarle coaching staff
recently traveled to Myrtle
Beach for a Football Coaches
Convention. The Convention was
designed to help coaches learn
the best possible techniques in
coaching. The Full Moon con
tacted one of the Albemarle
coaches and asked him what he
learned. The reply from the
anonymous coach was, “All I
learned was that I can’t play
golf.”
>K 4s
Finally, The Full Moon would
like to send its regrets to
Albemarle’s baseball coach,
Larry Fast. It seems that Coach
Fast unknowingly cut the
baseball team to eight members,
one below the legal playing
number. When told of his
mistake. Coach Fast replied,
“I’m the coach of this team and I
do what I want.”
bear Elesha,
Help! I’m a nose-spray addict!
I’m 16 now, and when I was 13,
my nose was stopped up all of the
time, so I started using nose-
spray. From then on, everytime
I’ve seen nose-spray. I’ve had a
desperate urge to snort it. It’s
really becoming a bad habit. The
other day I walked into a drug
store, snorted some nose-spray,
and returned it to its place on the
shelf. Please help me get unhook
ed!
Stopped Up
Dear Stopped Up,
Snorting nose-spray is not only
a bad habit but a felony. Consult
your physician immediately.
Dear Elesha,
I’m 14 and I have warts all over
my hump-back. My hump-back is
not such a problem, but in the
summer I am afraid to wear a
bathing suit because of my warts.
How can I get rid of them so I
won’t embarass myself this sum
mer?
Bumpy
Dear Bumpy,
Have you tried the tin-foil
method — Sleep overnight wrap
ped up in sardines and castor oil
and if that doesn’t work, stay in
the shower all summer! That’s
how long it will take to get rid of
the odor!
Dear Elesha,
I have a very big perspiration
problem. I’m 15 and everytime I
put on a clean blouse, one minute
later it’s sopping wet. I’ve tried
shaving under my arms and tap
ing wet clothes to the sweaty
areas. I really perspire when I
get nervous on a date. Have you
got any suggestions?
Sopping Wet
Dear Sopping Wet,
You have dates??? Seriously,
try an anti-perspirant.
Dear Elesha,
I’ve been dating this guy for 5
years and I really like him a lot.
Recently though, something is
really beginning to bother me
about him. He has developed a
crusty yellow bump on his eyelid.
It doesn’t seem to bother him, but
it is really becoming a turn-off.
What should I say to him —
should I confront him about his
problem or should we stop seeing
each other?
Turned Off
Dear Turned Off,
A crusty yellow bump — that
sounds repulsive! Either get
turned on by the bump or get
another guy!
Tired of being
pure and
innocent?
Call ANY-TIME
Ask for QP at 'Comfort & Conversation'
Shrub Shearers Associated? ?
Having problems?
Unwanted, unloved,
Neglected?
In misery?
Visit.
Cootie
oi)
at
On April 1 (Fool’s Day) Albe
marle Senior High School in
troduced several new clubs to the
campus. Each club has its own
special purpose. Listed below are
several, of these very unusual
clubs.
CMC
The Cafeteria Monotonous Club
is a group of high school students
who meet once a month to try to
distinguish what the menu of the
previous month has been. They
publish the paper “Do You
Realize What You’ve Eaten?”,
every other month to inform the
students. Also listed in this paper
are the symptoms of food poison
ing. If anyone notices these
symptoms or wishes to join the
club, just-contact the club presi
dent, Hubert Skinnybones.
CCU
The Class Cutters United is a
group who meets weekly to
decide on safe places to hide
away from Flash’s sharp eyes,
when deciding to cut class. If in
terested in joining contact the
club president, Johnny
Hideaway.
CJU
The Curb Jumpers United will
meet weekly to try to create new
means of getting out of the park
ing lot quickly and safely. Anyone
with any ideas on how to effec
tively get out of the parking lot or
anyone who wishes to join the
club please get in touch with the
club officers: president, Auther
Crashbang; vice-president,
Sidney Helmethead; and
secretary. Speedy Four-speed.
GHP
The General Hospital Patients
meet monthly to discuss and
criticize their favorite soap opera
General Hospital. Anyone in
terested should come to the next
meeting equipped with a box of
Kleenex. If you cannot be present
at this meeting get in touch with
the club president. Soapy
Crybaby.
SACA
Swap-a-card Anonymous is a
club especially designed for
Seniors. At the meetings the
students have all the time
necessary to swap their
namecards, without the risk of
being caught by teachers. The
next meeting is to be whenever.
SSA
The Shrub Shearers Associated
will meet every month to learn
the correct procedure for wood
cutting. As one will notice they
have already practiced in the
school yard. Anyone interested in
joining should contact the spon
sor, Sherbert Shrubaway.
THE GREEN FLEA
Choice Delicacies
Side Orders:
Armadillo Toes
Aardvark Lips
Tuesday Special:
Fleas Under Glass
Has your cat been acting up lately?
is he being finicky? rejecting mice?
chasing dogs?
Your worries are over! Bring him to . . .
KITTY KORRECTION KORRAL
^ (KKK)
You'll be glad you did!