Newspapers / Albemarle High School Student … / May 1, 1990, edition 1 / Page 7
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MAY 1990 THE FULL MOON PAGE? MOONSHINE EDITOR: BRETT RICHARDS Just Say No To Svraimer Boredom By Michael Blagg Now that school is almost over, the summer months are quickly approaching. Entertainment during these months can get a Uttle scarce. If you want, here are some ideas for some fun filled activities around this metropolis we call Albemarle. Bowling: This is an ancient sport that takes skill, precision, a mean attitude, and a little guts. Think about it: first you go in and put on a pair of shoes that you don t know who has been wearing. These things just sit around in a warm, dark place for extended periods of time. I distinctly remember my biology teacher saying those conditions are the ideal settings for the growth of bacteria. Then after ^ oozing into your shoes, you take a heavy^ball and throw it as hard as you can with intent to knock something down. Is that fim or what? Swimming: The great recreational activity. After paying your way in to the pool, and dressmg in a dark, damp room, you’re ready. Now all you have to do is fight the crowds and find a spare area of water that is not being used. Just keep in mind, though, all those little kids who do not know what a bathroom is have been “relieving themselves before you got there. ^ , Cruising:The great pastime of Albemarle. This has an appeal all its own. Let’s look at cruismg from a technical aspect You get in a car, talk to your friends, and DRIVE AROUND IN CIRCLES! | Nothing: This is a very popular activity. It does not cost anything, it can be done alone or m groups. I myself am a member of the record setting group who, while at Pahnetto SummCT Camp, did exactlynothingfor seven hours straight. It takesaspecialkindofindividual to do nothmg for extended I periods of time. It takes practice, and it should not be tried by mere amateurs. m Now, ihere it is. The most fim any nomal human being can have and remam sane. So dunng the summer,remember,ifyougetboreditisyomowntaiUt.Note:thisaitidewaswrittenbetorecmismg Was outlawed (so I guess it will be easier to get bored). f i 111 He Who Laughs Last... By Tom Stubbs and Jason Wagoner It was a deviously beautiful spring day, and Jason and I were busily scheming and dreaming things that we could do to Mrs. Hathcock to get back at her for the heck she put us through this year. We thought for a long time and wrote our ideas down on p^r. We had some great ideas, but all of that plotting made us extremely tired, so parrot in the closet. Then we commenced to hanging the beautiful beads, from the inside, so she wouldn’t notice them until she came in. Next we hopped in the van and headed for her house. Upon arriving we quickly made a mock ery of her yard with the toilet paper; then we painstakingly painted her house, car, trees, shrubs, ''“•-ouui uiaipioiimgmaue us extremely r „ • xir i. welaydownforamoment. Suddenly, we woke and grass with the nuoresc^ts^ay pamt. With upsimultaneously. We diought it was quite odd this task oompleKd. weorftheferocio^^- ^hat we both woke up at the same instant but put* dile to her front umpCT. e enapp azy ■towofourminds. Glue to the gas and brake pedals and the gear Since we were both awake we decided to selector. Then ^ sprayed stick em onto Hct followthroughonsomeofourplans. Wewentto steering wheel. T^ts all took qmte a while, ^d llte store and stocked up on the necessities: toilet knew she '''ou soon ^ Wper,spraypaint.paperbags,KrazyGlue,stick to go to school. We sneaked around back to the (adhesive spray), and last but not least, dutiful colorful plastic beads. After our trip to store, we went to Sphincter’s Exotic Pets, '''here we picked up aparrot, apitbuU, amedium- sized crocodile, and seven-inch pirannah. With resources collected, all we had to do was to ®^act our revenge! It was an early day for us. While everyone ®ke in the world was busy sleeping, Jason and I dressed in black and got on the move. We were and out by 3:00 A.M. This early time was Necessary so no one would hear the entourage of ®*otic animals in tow. Our first stop was the School. Because Mrs. H is sometimes seeminly °^essed with doors, we plaimed to eliminate so she wouldn't have to worry about it any ^ore. We broke in and jimmied the lock on oom 210, careful not to show any signs of orced entry. Once inside we placed the vocal bathroom window, looked up, and then ducked back down as Mrs. Hathcock entered to draw her bath. This couldn’t be more perfect! She was a slave to our every whim! She turned the water on and then left the room. We then stealthily crept in and dumped the pirarmah into the warm tub. The sun was beginning to rise so we thought we had better leave; but before we left we took one of those paper bags we bought and filled it full of crocodile droppings. We then placed it on the front porch, set it aflame, and rang the door bell. We then lit out of there lighthearted and crackling feeling like we were finally even. Boom! Out of the clear blue we woke 15). It had all beai a dream. We set back and laughed for a couple of minutes. Then we both got a devilish grin and thought aloud, "Dreams really do come true!" Mr. Furr explains to Mr. Taylor, "I don't scare easily." Furr’s Back By Brett Richards As reported last month, Reed Furr, assistant principal at AHS, handed in his resignation due to unreconcilable differences with administra tive sttif members (namely, Mr. Taylor). Mr. Furr had planned to leave AHS April 31. As the weeks have passed, however, this story has taken a surprising turn. Mr.Furr will remain at AHS through the year. Inside sources report that Mr. Morgan had a meeting with Mr. Furr, and Mr. Furr’s letter of resignation was destroyed during the meeting. Apparently, Mr. Furr’s earlier decision to leave to avoid what he had described as “bloodshed” has been reversed. Mr. Taylor hasn’t commented on the subject but seems to be cooperating fully. It appears that these gentle men have decided to resolve their differences for the betterment of the school. After all, it would be crazy to think that one assistant principal could keep all of us under control. Mr. Morgan, Mr. Furr, and Mr. Taylor seem to be trying to sweep this entire incident “under the rug.” These events are best forgotten, and the exact how’s and why’s behind Mr. Furr’s sudden change of plans are best left a mystery. Welcome back, Mr.Furr (although, technically, you never left). As you read this final "Who’s Who" article for the 89-90 school year, I would like to thank those who letme in on all of the malicious gossip at AHS. I have once again been informed by many AHS students of some of the most secre tive activities that AHS students are involved in. What 11th grader asked a freshman’s boyfriend to the prom and promptly got turned down? Who has two boyfriends, keeps it a secret fi^om everybody, and is constantly running from one to the other? Who am I? I am a secret admirer and my admirer’s initials are A.R. Who has more zits than outer space? What guy likes to have a very large ice cream Who's Who? By Meonne Blalock cone every night? What junior guy has a long distance relationship and a main squeeze at AHS? (Talk about se crets!) What teacher shows his/her class perverse film strips entitled 'The Reproductive System"? What AHS students have their licenses to fly? What group of wrestlers left Davidson College and went shopping at Eastland Mall during a wrestling match? What junior girl claims to be your friend until your back is turned? What AHS students routinely enjoy eating lunch at Joe’s? this biology student waits for a peek at Mr. Eidson's x-rated slides. For Bryan Land and Todd, the sky is their limit.
Albemarle High School Student Newspaper
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May 1, 1990, edition 1
7
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