APRIL 1991
THE FOOL MOON
PAGE 2
Features
EDITOR: SUSAN GRANTIER
Morgan Selected for "Star Search"
By Meonne Blalock
Talk about talent... Mr. W. K. Morgan, principal at AHS, has been nominated for an acting
award on his exceptional performance in the play “Arsenic and Old Lace,” presented by the
Uwhairie Players at the Agri-Civic Center just recenfly. Although Mr. Morgan did not know
it at the time, an undercover agent from the famous Star Search talent competition was among
those in the audience who came up to him after the play and congratulated hun on Im fine
performance. Not realizing who this character in the trench coat and hat happened to be, Mr.
Morgan politely thanked him for the compliment and for coming to the show and then began
to walk away until the man asked him if he would like to receive a check in the amount of
$100,000. Well, with a question like this in the air, Mr. Morgan almost lost his balance as he
quite rqjidly tumed around without any hesitation and said “Excuse me sir, but were you
speaking to me when you said something about a check?”
At approximately 9:00 A.M. on March 20, Mr. Morgan had successfuUy completed his
audition and within the next four hours he was notified as being one of the three finalists who
were selected in Charlotte. Because of this win, Mr. Morgan now has the opportunity to travel
to Hollywood, CA, to compete in the firstrounds of Star Search - the world’s most famous talent
competition. _ • .i. j .
Congratulaitons, Mr. Morgan, and best wishes on April 32, as you compete m the dram
category of Star Search. Put the big city of Albemarle on the map!
Shanta, Natasha, Shellio, and Tyra will be back-up singers for Mr. Morgan’s Star
Search apearance.
Principally Speaking ...
By W.K. Morgan
Attendance at AHS is at an all time high. There are fewer incidents of laying out and skipping
than ever before. The outstanding turnaround in events has one unanimous cause. This cause is
exam exemption. The possibility of not taking those mid-term and final tests has more smdents
sitting in their desks than ever before. The new policies have done wonders for our school.
Personally, all these policies have done is give me one big headache.
With attendance so high, more people are at school. I have to keep with all of those people.
None of you students know just how much trouble this is. When people come togethw, they get
in fights. The faculty has to discipline these people, and that means paperwork. Several forms must
be filled out, in triplicate, to suspend just one student. It takes twenty minutes to fill out just one
^°aL, the k)ve birds at AHS show up aU the time. The teachers and administration have to watch
and break these couples up. This causes discrimination arguments over who gets away with the
same thing, and what teachers let the same thing slide. ^ .
All of these problems come back to one unanimous cause, exam exemption. I’m gettmg fed
up with all of it. Policy runs through me, and I have the power to cancel policy. I, as principal of
Albemarle High School, do hereby order all students at AHS to resume skipping school. Don’t
worry, office workers will accept notes no matter how false looking they are. If skipping on a
regular basis does not resume, I will cancel all exemptions of exams. Please, skip class and give
a tired, old man and an aging faculty some peace.
FOOL MOON
Published nine times per year by the journalism class
at Albemarle High School
Member Quill and Scroll
Editors
Meonne Blalock - Editor-in-Chief
Marsh Riggins - Co-Editor
Shelly Austin- Business Manager Michacl Blagg- Sports Editor
Leslie Morgan- Entertainment Editor
Susan Grantier - Features Editor Rachel Kendall and Mesheka Davis-News Editors
Jason Hazlett - Managing Editor
Susan Hathcock - Advisor
Staff
Bill Aldridge, Mysty Blalock. Courtney Brown. Seth Cain. Kristi Johnson.
Sally Lowder, Jessica Poplin
Namp ’Themistrv Lab".
Blalock Cashes In
By Susan
Corruption has run amuck in Albemarle. It
was recently discovered that a brothel exists and
is doing great business right in the downtown
area. Taking example from the famed Nevada
brothel, 'The Mustang Ranch", Albemarle’s own
"Chemistry Lab" features beatuful women and
good times, for a price.
The real shocker is the owner and proprietor
is none other than respected and highly acclaimed
chemistry teacher, Mr. Danny Blalock. "I knew
I was on to something great when I opened up my
love shack last spring," said Mr. Blalock. His
concept is ingenious. Located in central Albe
marle, "Big Daddy Danny", as his girls call him,
offers uptown smut with a touch of class. Says
Big Daddy, 'The Chemistry Lab " treats the cus
tomers like a rare element. I treat uranium with
the utmost care. The clients deserve the same."
Upon entering the Chemistry Lab, guests must
sign the register "first name first,last name last."
After a client discusses the "details" with Big
Daddy, he is free to spend one hour as he chooses.
The hourly intervals are marked by a bell, which
rings about the house. Big Daddy Danny is often
heard over the room-to-room intercom saying
"15 seconds till the bell." This gives a client fair
on Local Brothel
Grantier
warning that his time is almost up. Sometimes
there's trouble for one of my girls. A client won't
leave, or he’s roughing up a lady. "Big Daddy is
proud to say he doesn't need any bouncers. He
takes various precautionary measures to ensure
the safety of the household. "If I have a problem
that deserves immediate attention, I arm myself
with a hydorchloric acid eye wash, a graduated
cylinder, and a electrode that is always recharg
ing and rearin' to go." This is the part of the job
that Danny enjoys the most
The Chemistry Lab always welcomes call-in
ordOT. Mr Blalock has worked it out so that he
can still handle clients during his daytime job as
high school teacher. " I just installed a jiione at
school. Clients can reach me there on the 800
number." He is often interrupted during class to
answer the "love phone". Periiqjs you've heard
him answer by saying "Chemistry Lab".
Big Daddy Danny is clearly enjoying his
recent success. "After I made that first profit, I
ran out and bought my 1990 Z, complete with car
phone and fuzz buster. I’m sure many people
were wondering how I bought that on a teacher s
salary. Well, I didn't"
Big Daddy Danny Is in his "element”
Show Your Natural Beauty!
By Kristi Johnson
Starting next year, before we gel out for
Christmas, we will have a contest for the best all-
around student at Albemarle High School. To
enter the pageant you must have a 33 grade point
average and you have to be involved in your
school. Attendance is a prime factor also. The
pageant's festivities will include a swimsuit
contest, an evening gown contest, a personal
interview, and a talent contest The winner will
receive a scholarship.
To enter this pageant, you must fill out the 19
page entry form in triplicate. You also must
weigh at least 200 pounds and your hair cannot
exceed one and one-half inches. If there is
evidence of a tan, disqualification is immediate.
Your beauty must be purely natural and no make
up will be allowed. Your evening gown must be
made by your own hands and your swimsuit must
have a skirt bottom. Your talent must be a special
presentation of a hymn. Good luck to all AHS
beauties!
\
This lovely AHS student Is already
practicing lor our pageant.