Newspapers / Albemarle High School Student … / May 1, 1998, edition 1 / Page 8
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nruK’ MAY 1998 THE FULL MOON Moonshine fiTficr£ IT^ii by Ross Stokes Editor: Wilson Beaver Pages Let’s say somehow that you came across a large sum of money, say $89,514.76. You may have gotten this money by winning the lottery, inheritance, or maybe you just found the money on the doorstep one day. I took a survey to see exactly what some of the students here at AHS would do with this odd amount of cash. Although some students did smarter things with their money, they were almost all quick to spend, spend, and spend. Tiera McDonald- Although it’s not a million dollars, I would buy my mom and me a new car, pay the rest of my tuition, and if there’s any left, 1 would donate it to charity. Ber Yang-1 will go back to Laos, my homeland, and start my own business. Then, I would buy a nice house and start my family with a house full of Ber Yang juniors, Dee Hyatt examines the eighty-nine thousand of dollars she has received. Ross Huneycutt- First, I would buy a new bass boat. Next, I would purchase a new truck and sell “The Truck”. I would also buy a new Sea Doo. With the $14.76 left, I would invest in some Spam Lite. Jesse Xiong-1 would probably put it away and wait for a rainy day. Jake Hardy-1 would kidnap Tommy, pay some one to kill Tim, and take a trip to the beach. Amber Hatley- I’d buy a new VW Bug and then ^go to the beach ’til my money ran out. I guess then I’d have to get a job! Ben Smith- I’d buy Coach Moran a woman so he’d think he is “Big Sexy”! Tina Bailey- First, I’d buy Kirk a muffler and a Stingray II for myself The rest I’d spend on shoes. Ladares Lilly- I’d buy me a “Land” and cruise to Michigan with Will T. to see our beach friends. Crystal Swaringen- First, I’d buy me a ’98 4- Runner and go shopping. Then, I’d buy Dee Dee a life. I’d put all the rest in the bank. Allison Horton- First, I would buy Dustin two bay horses. Then, I would buy myself a white, floppy-eared bunny and my own mall to shop at. Then, I would buy Dee Dee a man, and a private plane for Crystal so she can travel to South Caro lina. Then, I would buy Jamie a pig farm and golf-cart lessons for Sarah. Dee Dee Hyatt- First, I would buy me a ’98 Montero Sport and a dream house at the beach. I would buy my nephew all the toys in the world. Sarah Phillipy and Jamie Harwood- First, we would buy Skids a cheerleading uniform and unlimited mileage to Raleigh. Then, we would buy Mazatlan for ourselves. We would buy Nicole the truth, and for Danielle - you know who! We would buy Allison a five-cent cup of coffee specially made by “Mark” with three creams and eight packs of sugar, and for Char lotte and TanTmy.we would get new attitudes and buy Boo Boo an autographed Rodman jersey. Fi nally, we would buy ourselves a new three- wheeler to get around town! The green cheese for May seems a bit tough and lumpy and even a little moldy. Neverthe less, it is green cheese so enjoy! $ What senior guy likes sitting in W.Davidson’s bus? $ What sophomore guy claims that he is in the “Italian Mafia?” $ What Albemarle playa is moving to Durham? $ What sophomore giri fell during I" lunch? $ What three guys always sing Social Phobia lyr ics? $ What sophomore guy is burnt out from the world? $ What golf coach loves big pants? $ What junior girl is notorious fordrive-by kill ings of favorite pets? $ What senior guy rubs his legs and shakes his head when called on by a teacher to read? $ What junior guy’s car needs a muffler? $ What senior guy got his conference champi onship picture taken with a beer can in his hand? $ What junior girl is getting played by a North Stanly native? $ What senior girl got left at the BP on prom night? $ What junior guy’s prom date is unsociable? $ What group’s limosine broke down before the prom? by Greg Hathcock $ What senior guy learned to be a crash test dummy? $ What group of seniors and one junior went to Southpark Mall in their prom attire and took pic tures at the Disney store? Austin Whitley, member of the Italian Mafia, plans to rub out the next victim. P(£ Everyone in the worid has a special someone who he or she dreams of being like. This some one is a person who is worshipped and idolized. The range of idols is far and wide including friends, family, musicians, athletes, and actors. Here is a list of Albemarle High School idols. Jason Pinion idolizes Mitch Bellamare (former AHS teacher) Brooke Laton idolizes Spartan cheerlead ers by Wilson Beaver ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ Heavenly Tears Make Rain! ^ by Tiera McDonald Many years ago, rain would not stop during the month of May. The people from the world of Tyrinus didn’t understand why it was raining so heavily. Although it didn’t rain every single day, it sure seemed like it to them. The Tyrinians always thought that April showers brought May flowers, but to them April showers produced more and more showers. Depressed with being wet, they sent explorers to the heavens to see what was going on, and the explorers were gone for at least a week to seek out the problem. As they approached the heavens, most of it was beautiful and bright while one little part was dark and gl( >my. The Tyrinian explorers began to question the giant gods about all of the rain that tin vorld of Tyrinus was receiving. The giant gods began to explain that a young angel giri that lived in the eastern part of the heavens was very depressed. The angel had been crying because she couldn’t get her flowers to bloom, and the only reason they hadn’t bloomed was be use the angel had been crying all winter for no reason at all. The gods were punish ing her his way, because they knew she loved her flowers dearly. The Tyrinian explorers didn 1 ‘ite understand and asked why was Tyrinus being punished. The gods answered by saying. You too have been crying all winter just by doing wickcd things.” He explained that if 1 ly changed their ways and stop complaining, they would be rewarded in time. When the explorers returned and gave the news to their citizens, the world of Tyrinus changed for the good,the rain stopped, and flowers grew beautifully. The moral of this story is, cry for the beautiful things in life and stop complaining about petty things, because as soon as the angel stopped crying, her flowers began to grow, too! The reason for this is that she had everything that she needed in life around her. She had the heavens, just as the Tyrinians should have been happy to be alive. Jason impersonates Mr. Bellamare with an infamous “deer meat” expression. Amber Hatley idolizes Mr. Moran TifTanie Eudy idolizes Robin of Locksley (man in tights) Mark “DDP” Purvis idolizes Bill Timberlake (the sexiest man alive) Wilson Beaver idolizes Meat Loaf (the musician, not the favorite food) Kristen Burleson idolizes The Angry Bea vers (cartoons not related to Wilson the Beaver) Bill Timberlake idolizes Ben Smith and Mark Purvis (founders of the UBA) Chris Taylor idolizes Phi! Mickelson(PGA golfer) Jason Smith idolizes The Giant( worid’s biggest athlete and WCW wrestler) Michael Lowder idolizes “Stone Cold” Steve Austin( WWF wrestler) Wilson Beaver idolizes Harrison Ford David Beaver and Scott Brinson idolize Bill Goldberg(WCW U.S. Heavyweight Cham pion) Octavis McLendon idolizes Mo’ Thug (rapper) TanRatliff idolizes Bone, Thugs’n Harmony (rap group) David Burpeau idolizes Bill Timberlake Miller Morgan idolizes Scott Brinson Wilson Beaver idolizes Seth (angel in City of Angels movie) Marisha Tyson idolizes Wilson Beaver and Miller Morgan Chantal Williams idolizes Natasha Tyson Idols are very common in today’s society. Everyone dreams of being someone else and hav ing all his or her possessions. So you students out there keep dreaming of hamburger w ishes and reaching for the moon. ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓
Albemarle High School Student Newspaper
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May 1, 1998, edition 1
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