May, 1922 -
THE MIDGET
Page 15
MAKE THE BOY GLAD
With a watch, and start him on the way to man
liness. A watch is a real Missionary, teach
ing responsibility to the boy who carries it.
I have given much thought to watches for
boys, and have a fine selection in stock. The
prices are very reasonable.
F. E. STARNES
hprs-
—and reads as follows: P. T. Bar-
num said: “A sucker is born every
hour, and you are the latest.”
7—Oath
I, , promise to give bro
ther and sister members of the “Ben
eficial Order of iShifters” any aid pos
sible on whatever they may request.
The Albemarle High School, howev
er, has one ever-growing organization
with a very large, membership. In
fact, every student in High School
is a member, although some are con
sidered better members than others.
Anyone familiar with this club and
its work is sure to find out that it is
doing nothing whatsoever. Our teach
ers are especially familiar with this
club, patented 1922, under the name
of The Sons of Rest, “with apologies
to the Chanticleer,” (affiliated with
the Anti-Work League and the Loaf
ers’ Union founded in the Procrasti
nation Period by Ima Bum, B. V. D.,
S. O^L., I .0. U., I. .W W., author of
“Why Don’t the Man Who Started
Work Finish the Job?”
Motto: Work is for horses and mul
es, and they turn their back to it. Re
sults: good.
Favorite Theme: Rest.
Purpose: To kill time.
Official Flower: Jimpson weed.
Slogan: Let the other do it.
Favorite objection: Work.
Meeting Places: The Newsie, the
court house steps, and the jitney sta
tion.
Officers:
“Dru” Moore, President of the Bro
therhood of Time Killers.
Spears Hurt, Chief of loafing squad.
“iSleepy” McLauchlin, Grand Imita
tion of Rest.
Charles MeSwain, Head of Labor
Dodgers.
Requirements of Admission:
' 1. 'Candidate must possess at
least thirty-five cents.
2. Candidate must make at least
“F” (50) on Latin for two months
out of each year.
Dues: Mountain dews.
By Laws
1. No profanity allowed (swear
ing permitted).
2. The club is not responsible for
hats, coats, or cuff-buttons of mem
bers.
3. No crooks allowed except mem
bers.
Members
Ralph Feagin, Winfred Gaddy, Carl
Winecoff, “Doc” Whitley, “Wireless
Ed” Widenhouse, Geo. Harris.
N. B.—^For complete list of the
honors of the members see register
at police headquarters.
^^
COMMENCEMENT DEBATE.
(By Mary Anderson)
A splendid debate will be held at
the Commencement of the Albemarle
High School. The query. Resolved:
“That the United States should adopt
a policy of further material restriction
of immigration,” is very interesting
and is one of our great national
questions today. The affirmative will
be (upheld by Martha Austinr and
Ray Lowder. The negative will be
defended by Robert Cranford and
Charles McSwain. These debaters
were selected in the Preliminary of
Triangular Debate as a second team.
All of them are able speakers and
have given the subject both study and
thought. We feel sure that every
one will be repaid for coming out to
hear them.
Harward-Almond Grocery Co.
IT PLEASES US
TO PLEASE YOU
Telephone 87
Albemarle, N. C.
SERVICE
COAL, WOOD AND ICE
C. L. LITAKER
Telephone No. 1
QUALITY