Dawg Days
Byjim Turner
You loiow it’s summer in Beacons Reach when
the pooch population exceeds that of the two-legged
critters on the other end of the leash. Now before you
hang up on me, let me proclaim loudly that I don’t
dislike dogs! I even kinda’ like them. Like most born
and bred southern boys, my older brother and I al
ways had a four-legged tongue dripper to roust about
with when we were kids. Our dogs were never “paper
holders,” though. They were just plain, old, rescued
fleabags. In the mid to late ‘40s, which is when I first
remember having our dog Tab, pre-owned animals
were more likely to be gotten rid of than rescued.
My wife, Jean, and her siblings had pets too.
When we were dating in the early ‘60s, her furry
friend, Chippy, didn’t much like me. The feeling was
mutual. My grievance with Chippy was mostly his
penchant for notifying Jean’s household when I’d
bring her home a little later than scheduled.
Years later when our daughter Jami, at about age
six, wanted her first dog, we thought it seemed like
the natural course of events. Her first mutt was a cute
handful of energy. The three of us could not think
of a suitable name for the little tramp, so we called
him J.P., short for Just Puppy. Sadly, it soon became
evident that J.P. had been born with a severe learning
disability for which there was no known treatment.
He would stare blankly at me, tongue dangling, drip
ping bodily fluids on the carpet while I screamed for
him to stop biting the fireplace hearth.
After J. P. had chewed up everything except my
neighbor’s lawn mower, we invited him to move his
residence to a farm somewhere in deepest Durham
County. We promptly moved too, in case he tried to
find his way back to his old home. I hope he didn’t
grow up to be a hated chicken chaser.
By the time Jami was in junior high school, her
tastes in most things had become more expensive.
She had reached a dreaded mature young lady pla
teau, which required her to own only pets that came
with credentials. We located a Norwegian elkhound
breeder somewhere in Chatham County, selected
the shy petite one of the litter and arranged for a
mortgage to pay the asking “adoption fee.” Register
ing a canine is a little like selecting a name for your
new corporation in that most of the names you find
interesting are already assigned in the dog czar’s reg
istry. We settled on the unlikely name “Jami’s Rikki of
Inverness.” Inverness was the street where we lived in
northern Durham County, and you can figure out the
rest of it. Anyhow, that’s quite a mouthful to shout
when calling anybody for dinner, so our new royalty
became Rikki. I’ll admit that I, too, quickly became
an admirer. Rikki really was a wonderful new family
member. She was incredibly devoted to Jami until
that fateful day when her dream love came along, and
she ditched us for a life beneath the neighbor’s deck.
There she shacked up with Banks (a Heinz 57
named for the Duke University basketball star Eu
gene Banks). She’d wander home from time to time
to check messages and pick up mail, but for the most
part, it was your basic Lady & the Tramp love story.
When Rikki finally moved on to doggie heaven,
we all said we were through with pets. Too much
trouble! Too much loss of freedom! Too much sad
ness when they were no longer beneath the dinner
table! Then.. .when some fraternity friends at the
University of North Carolina at Greensboro proved
unworthy of pet-rearing responsibilities, Jami res
cued a devil dog chow-shepherd mix and moved him
into her condo.
His full name was Richie Damnit! After gradu
ation, we helped move Jami and Richie Damnit to
Kingsport, Tennessee, where devil dog began a reign
of terror that has become part of East Tennessee folk
lore. In his final act of sadism, RD pulled Jami down
' V •'.V>’ •
a flight of stairs, tearing her ACL and leaving her
unable to care for him or to make her 4:00 a.m. TV.
reporting schedule. So Devil Dog RD was relocated
to Durham to live with his grandparents. How lucky
can two people be?
Life goes on. I’m told that things always change.
To me, it seems that the more they change the more
they stay the same. Our little girl grew up, married
and now has two lively, beautiful children of her own.
She also has ANOTHER DOG! A miniature schnau-
zer named Bert, as in Bert & Ernie. My grandchil
dren’s dog is now my great granddog. HELP!
Bert likes to come to Beacon’s Reach to visit
his grandparents. He loves to romp on the beach
and bring me sand just in case I don’t already have
enough for all the floors. Bert likes to bark. Bert loves
to bark. Bert loves to bark at me. He barks at me five
minutes after he saw me the last time! His memory is
worse than mine. But most of all, Bert likes to sniff.
He loves to track the evidence of every other doggie
friend who has ever visited Beacon’s Reach. Walk,
sniff, turn, sniff, turn, walk, turn, sniff, turn, sniff,
turn,Jiirn sniff. Finally comes the grand finale of
three complete circles.
AHA! This is it! I found it! Grab that blue doggie
waste bag, Poppy!
Country Club of the
Crystal Coast
By Chip Chamberlin
The event of the year is coming up the first week
end of August right here in Pine Knoll Shores. The
Tri-County Amateur Golf Championship will begin
with a member party and live band on Friday August
5. The first round will be played on Saturday August 6,
and the second round played on Sunday August 7. Tee
times start at 10 a.m. on each day. Players must reside
in Carteret, Craven or Onslow Counties to be eligible
to play.
We are very pleased to be able to host this fine
event and are looking forward to offering players a
great time for 36 holes of play over our chaUenging
course.
The Country Club of the Crystal Coast is also
holding an open house on Friday August 19, at 7 p.m.
Come take a look at our wonderful facility and stun
ning views. Let us share our hospitahty and introduce
you to some of our staff and board members. Reserva
tions are not required.
The rest of our summer calendar, as well as the
fall calendar, is packed with great activities available
to members and to holders of the Pine Knoll Shores
Recreation Card. Call town hall for information on
the Recreation Program, or call the Country Club for
details on activities at 726-1034.
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4 The Shoreline I August 2011