Page 12,'The Aletheid
Six Gun Charlie
Risher*s Benevolent Dictatorship
By SARA SWINSON
Staff Writer
I'm sitting in Dr.
Risher’s office. I have a
blank look on my face and
question marks in my eyes.
The man who wrote the
monumental work
"Charlie's Tips for
Academic Success" sits
before me. Dr. Risher
finishes his orange and sets
his personal Garfield cup
aside. I notice the maroon
tie Dr. Risher wears. It has
little pheasants on it. I take
a mental note. I wonder of
his fashion sense. It's a
nice tie, I think to myself,
better to have pheasants on
your tie than, say...storks
or penguins. I observe my
surroundings. Dr. Risher's
office seems a cavernous
realm of books-some old
and moldy but I'm sure they
have quite a history. Which
brings us close to our topic
of discussion.
"Okay! This is
interesting. I got this little
bit of information from your
file...”
"My file?! I have a
file?!" He tilts his head
bemusedly. (possibly
paranoia?) Maybe I
shouldn't have said he has a
file.
"Well., it wasn't a file,
exactly it was more like a
manila folder with one piece
of paper in it."
"Where did you get it
from?" Oh, um...he's
asking me to reveal my
sources. I shift
uncomfortably. I choose to
avoid the question. I get the
feeling Dr. Risher senses an
impending interrogation- so
I ease up. Our wanting to
interview him is bewildering
to him. He wants to know
why I've chosen to do such
a thing. I prove to be less
enlightening.
"Anyway," I resume my
original thought, "I found
out from that little folder
^ng with the piece of paper
in it ( I didn't want to say
"file") that you were an
ordained minister for seven
years." I was proud of my
research. I had a lead and
Dr. Risher tells students tales of Louis XTV
was on to something big.
With newfound confidence I
asked my first well thought
out question. "Do you miss
it?" I could feel my career
as a journalist taking off.
"No, no, not really. At
the end of every sermon I
wanted to hand out a test.
But, in teaching, not that
everything you say is great
or even close to that, but
you at least have a
mechanism to hold people
responsible for what you've
said, hence, the
examination." As Dr.
Risher says this I experience
a flashback to last semester.
I had a terminal case of
"Risher quiz-phobia."
I think of another
question. Realizing I'm on
a roll, I intone fervently
"Where do you think history
is going?” Dr. Risher gives
me a puzzled look, the kind
that makes me squirm with
insecurity. The question
dropped like an anchor from
a sinking ship.
"You mean history as a
subject to study, or...?" I
can tell Dr. Risher thinks
I'm odd (but most people
do). My Barbara Walters
routine isn't working. I'll
have to change my
tactics...What would Joan
Rivers ask?
"So, Chuck" (okay,
okay, I didn't really say
Chuck) "So, you wrote
Charlie's Tips for Academic
Success, do you have
perhaps any dating tips?"
"No," he answers, "I
prefer to leave that to those
who engage in such
matters." Scratch the Joan
Rivers routine. I really
want to know where history
is going.
"About history, history in
general, where is it going?"
Dr. Risher pauses. His
eyes grow large with
thought. I know I've
challenged the very core of
his being. (What every
good investive reporter
should do). I wonder what
the answer would be. If
anyone would know where
history is going it would be
Dr. Risher. I know I've
come to the right place. I'm
Dr. Risher at six years old.
about to get the inside
scoop.
"Well, as a Christian, I
believe it is going in the
direction God is allowing or
wants it to go in..."
"Hmm," I think to
myself, "Yes, that's it..of
course."
Dr. Risher continues,
"And that's a broad
statement."
I agree, so I inquire more
specifically, "Where do you
think God wants it to go?"
"Well, this is getting
theolo^cal and I generally
don't like to project..."
"Go ahead, project!" I
insist.
"I believe that there is
some credence in the
prophetic notions. I think
that we're moving toward a
one world sense, certainly
economically and politically
to a certain extent."
"Don't a lot of people see
that as a good thing
though?" I question.
"Well, they would have
to in order to tolerate it.
There are forces that are
powerful enough to break
through the individual,
nationalistic movements.
Even though you're seeing a
lot of that now politically in
the Soviet block nations,
this explosion of
nationalism to offset the
yoke of Soviet influence.
However, I see that as a
temporary stage in history.
The fact that you have
east/west cooperation:
economic interdependence;
the fact that we need to
consult in a world wide
manner involving isolating
crisis; the fact that small
third world nations pose a
threat to both Soviet and
western interests...! see all
of that as eventually
contributing to this move of
one world...I don't want to
overstate that, but I'm not
surprised by those
tendencies. I don't think it
will happen in our lifetime,
but I think that's where
history is going. Eventually
there will be a Second
Coming and all that."
Yes, I agree history is
moving onward, toward
global unity, one world
government. The earth will
become one big global
village. It's pretty ominous.
Then of course the Second
Coming of Christ. I ponder
this profundity. It prompts
me to ask my next question.
"What do you eat for
breakfast?"
"It varies, but usually,
buttered toast, juice, a type
of cereal (unspecified),
usually but not always,
coffee and vitamins."
"And what kind of
vitamins?"
"Multivitamin
combination."
See Risher's Tidbits
on Next Page...