Tage 8, T^fie S^tluia
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Laws of Nature
/C
Murphy’s Law
What can go wrong,
will go wrong.
O’Toole’s Commentary
on Murphy’s Law
Murphy was an opti
mist.
Nonreciprocal Law of
Expectations
Negative expectacies
generally yeild negative
results
Positive expectacies
generally yeild negative
results
Skinner’s Constant
(Flannagan’s Finagling
Factor)
The number which,
when multiplied by, di
vided by added to or sub
tracted from the answer
you get, gives you the
answer you should have
gotten.
Law of Selective Grav
ity and Jenning’s Corol
lary
Any object will fall as
to do the most damage.
The chance of the bread
falling with the buttered
side down is directly pro
portional to the cost of the
carpet.
Gordon’s First Law
If a research project is
not worth doing, it is not
worth doing well.
Maier’s Law
If the facts do not
conform to the theory, they
must be disposed of.
Alka Seltzer’s Laws of
Indegestion #5
Your stomach’s sen
sitivity to food is inversly
proportional to the crav
ing you have for the food.
Boren’s First Law
When in doubt,
mumble.
Barth’s Distinction
There are two types of
people:
Those who divide
people into two types
Those who don’t
Lloyd’s Law
It is intuitively obvi
ous to even the most cas
ual observer
Risher’s Reason
History isn’t every
thing but everything is
History
Kaminer’s Corollary
Put everything away
PARENTS' WEEKEND
General Assemble l^ingers
Friday atS:OOpm>
Harvest Festival
Saturday at l;00pm
Matt Auten Concert in Gaither Chapel
Saturday, 7:30 pm
NOVEMBER 1ST THRU 3RD
Rip-Offs
Cont. from Page 3
makes. For example, a fuel
pump for a 1978 Camaro
costs $22.97 while on for a
1985 Volvo 740 Turbo costs
$125.33.
“Would you touch a
nettle without being stung
by it; take hold of it stoutly.
Do the same with other an
noyances, and hardly will
anythingannoyyou.” -Hare
Annoyance
Cont. from Page 2
influential time period of
growth and maturity.
Research is being con
ducted by myself and
other concerned upper
classmen exploring the
possibility of inserting the
experiences of the "Fresh
man Summer" into the
summer after high sch ool,
to save us and them a lot
of grief.
Asheville's Life Chain
By Scott Ward
Staff Writer
On Sunday, October 6,
among the wind and the
cold, about four thousand
people gathered to rally for
the pre-bom in what was
called the Asheville Life
Chain. A Life Chain is a
chain of people that stretches
for miles, with each person
holding a sign that either
says, "Abortion Kills Chil
dren," or "Jesus Heals and
Forgives."
According to Pastor
James Swatzell of the Word
of Life Christian Center, the
desire for the protest was
twofold. The first being that
the government would see
the will of the people and
would begin to change the
laws legalizing abortion.
The second reason for the
protest was so that people
would look for other options.
Although the protesters
received their share of ob
scene gestures and smart
remarks, the rally was very
peaceful and no arrests were
made. From my vantage
point on Tunnel Road,
however, it was quite ap
parent that there were those
who clearly did not agree
with the protests. The reac
tion from the pro-choice
groups, however, was supr-
isingly small.
Since 1973, over twenty
seven million preborn chil
dren have been aborted.
That comes out to roughly
one million five hundred
thousand every year. Of
those, less than three per
cent are performed in the
case of rape, incest, or dan
ger to the mother's life. If
you would like to take part
in Life Advocates, you may
call 298-5757and speak with
Meredith Hunt, or you may
write to Life Advocates, P.O.
Box 19205, Asheville, NC,
28815.