STUDENT AFFAIRS
Legendam Advice
from Craig and Joe
Dear Legends, ' -
I know I can ask you questions about relationships because you’re guys and you
know what guys like. I myself didn’t go to public school; I was home schooled and
didn’t get much interaction with many members of the opposite sex who weren’t re
lated to me. After attending King of Hearts and seeing all of those good-looking men, I
am consumed with a quest for love. 1 must have one of them! Please tell me which one
to pursue. By the way, are either of you guys available? You guys are so hot.
Yours truly.
Home schooler with problems - Suzy
Dear Home schooler with problems,
You've made a great decision by picking the men from King of Hearts. This
consummation of love and desire is a natural response to the man-candy you
observed on Thursday the 12th. The only way to truly choose the option that
is best for you is by looking at each candidate in detail.
1 - Colton Gera. A fine selection! While young, he has a beautiful abUily to
write exuberant poetry which, if you date him, he will surely use to immortal- '
ize you and your love.
2 - Joshua Platt. The country gentlemen! You can expect to be branded with
his love. If your car gets stuck in the mud, you can expect a quick and speedy
rescue. If you are in a love rut ... he can pull you out of the lugubrious mud of
despair and into the arms of the country gentlemen.
3 - Nathan Dimmock. Great legs! Dimmock was born in the wrong era. His
musical tastes will make you swoon, consisting of Bing Crosby, Frank Sina
tra, and Nat King Cole. A night with Nate would more than likely consist of
starry nights and endless dancing with the smell of Kenyan Chai brewing in
the background. Plus Nathan is freakin’ hot.
4 - Dane “Secret Agent” Haskell, the King of Hearts himself. He can get you
out of any room with tools he hides in his Neard. Rocking hardcore abs and
a I'm hotter-than-you attitude, Dane could perhaps be the finest selection on
the list.
Chaplain Steve once said “selecting a mate for life should be arbitrary and
quickly decided.” We mention this to say — don't take too long. You should
make a decision and commit, and as always, don’t stop until you've secured
your man.
Happy holidays,
Ojod v7oe
9
^Got a pr^lem? A question? Neec^om^egendary advice from two guys who ^
^have seen it all? E-mail Craig and Joe at legendarycraigandjoe@gmail.com j
a
Thursday, February 19
Float N Flick - Jaws
at Cheshire Pool
Vans leave at 8 PM
Movie starts at 8:30 PM
Saturday, February 21, 5 PM
Night Skiing at Wolf Ridge
Tuesday, February 24
Faculi^ Recital -
Chapel or the Prodigal
nnl J T7» 1 o
X Jniujrsclct^^ X^ 0onji2try
Coffeehouse
Johnny Cash Impersonation Night
•w—* •
rirst prize:
Walk the Line DVD
Monday, March 2, TPM
Poetry Reading, in honor
of Dr. Seuss's Birthday
Details forthcoming
Ping Pong Tournament 9PM
Tuesdhty, March 3, 11AM
Convo with Paul Young
(Author of The Shack)
Tuesday, March 3, 7-lOPM
Volleyball Tournament
McAlister Gym
Friilay, March 6
Campus-Wide Hoe Down
Details Forthcoming
Tuesday, March 10
Music Department Recital
Chapel of the Prodigal
February 18,2009 I Page 5