PIQUANT POINTERS
(By Sergeant “Doc” Woollard.)
It' you see an enlisted man who
pleases everybody, there will be a
glass plate over his face, and he won't
be standing up either.
♦ * i(:
The only place to feel for the poor
these days is in your OWN pocket.
^ Nc
We admit that the hair on the cook’s
head is beautiful, but we forget all
about its beauty when we find it in
our stew.
» *
One of the greatest sights on earth
is that of a woman talking SENSE,
and friend husband listening.
^ si: 41
A one-legged man may be able to
make good, but he can never get
there with both feet,
* * «
The only way some men can get even
with their wife, is to take her swim
ming, wait for her to come out of
the water, and then ask the crowd,
who that funny-looking woman is.
* * *
A superior officer may be an awful
fool, but none of his subordinates are
anxious to tell him he is.
• SC
There are always two sides to a
question, OUR side and the WRONG
side.
sC * sC
You may be over-charged for some-.
thing GOOD( but did you ever get a
POOR thing CHEAP?
SC sC .K
All men are horn free and equal,
and have the choice of remaining so
or getting married.
The AVERAGE woman gets off a
JOKE about as successfully as she
gets olf a trolley car.
m ± :k
Know thyself, but DON’T tell any
body.
THE CADUCEUS.
DID YOU SEE THEM?
.When Gene Menga, the tonsorial ar
tist of barracks six is not at work
with clippers or razor he is employed
in perpetrating practical jokes. Ser
geant Arthur Rankin, top sergeant of
the Base Hospital No. 54 unit, is one
of the victims of Gene’s latest effort.
“Some chicken,” ejaculated Gene.
“Wot you mean, some chicken?”
tumbled the sergeant.
“The two classy dames that was
just here lookin’ for you. That Ethel
was some real bird.”
“Lookin’ for me? You sure?’’ tugged
Sergeant Rankin at the line Eugene
had tossed in his direction.
“1 reckon I’m sure. Didn’t I talk to
them? Didn’t they ask for you? Didn’t
I tell them I supposed you was out
drillin’ the company? They just left a
minute -ago. They have gone on over
to Liberty Park now.”
There are many sponsors for the ac
count that our barber relates of how
the sergeant hurried away towards
Liberty Park and how hot the day
was and how tired Sergeant Rankin
was when he returned.
STILL MISSING.
Among the new literary works is not
be found the letter that Sergeant Cos
grove has been waiting for so patient
ly. The bit of fine penmanship is ex
pected to be in the artistic hand
writing of a cultured young woman of
California. In connection with the new
books, suggested by the sergeant in
last week’s Cadueeus, the latest song
is advised “Some One Else May Be
There When I’m Gone.”
IN NEW HANDS.
The Propeller, the camp paper put
out by the Motor Mechanics, under
goes a change of editorship this week
due to the organization which has
been responsible for its publication
being called to other fields. Let us
hope that the new organization up
holds the high standard of the prev
ious issues.
11
ON THE MESS SHIFT.
Our Laskey is a funny chap.
We call his “buttierfly”
He’s always flitting here and there
To foliow him you’d die
But boy, with K. P.’s he’s a bear,
He sure has them on the run
round
You’d think he was running down a
Hun.
Wte also have just “fatty”
Though Lennex is his name
Too bad he’s in the army
■Wlien he could grab- off movie fame
For he’s got Arbuckle beat a mile
But even at that he’s always ready
To greet you with a smile.'
I’m sure you all know Wright
The boy that never looks for fight
But didn’t he get mad the other day
When some one put shoes in his sleep
ing hay
He started to stir up an awful fuss
Till we quieted him down
And put a smile on his much
We are all trying to do our best
To please you one and all
And if at times the guards not right
Kindly omit the. call.
REPAIRING DRAINS.
Work of lining the drains, along the
ward rows, with cement is requiring
the energies of a detail of laborers
under Sergeant Yates. A part of the
small drains have already been ce
mented and proved their worth at the
time of the heavy rainfall on Monday.
The newly-installed concrete drain
along the “A” row allowed the water
to run away without a washout of any
of its contributing streamlets.
Where the concrete drains have not
yet been put in there was consider
able damage occasioned by the down
pour. Deep pockets were worn at each
bend in the drain course and in some
cases several yards of the canal was
damaged.
GAMP THEATRE
B. H. StepE ens’ Amusement Enterprises
LIBERTY PARK
(GAMP ^0, 4 GAR
\ WAUDLIWILLI
Mswiiig Ptetures
NEW COMPANY EVERY SUNDAY
Program changes Sunday, Wed’day, Saturday.
Matinees: Sunday, Wednesday,
Saturday, 3 P. M. Nights at 6:45 and 8:30
Plenty of Fans to Keep You Cool
PARK SHOOTING
GALLERY
B. H. Stephens’ Amusement Enterprises
LIBERTY PARR, CAMP No. 4 CAR
True to Nature
Just Like Out-Doors
A Big Novelty
Improve Your Aim.
The Only Complete and Up-
to-Date Gallery at Gamp.