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- 1
THE CADUCEUS.
THE END MAN
CUPID’S COLUMN
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SAY, MISTER ALEXANDER. ■
BY U APPLRTOlNL
Mister Jones, wliat do you thiuK
or these endrof-the^world predic'-
tions?”
“Tliey is no good; absolutely rot
ten; I neber knowed one ob them to
come true in my life.”
HEART PROBLEMS SOLVED.
(All correspondence should be ad
dressed to Ethyl Alcohol, care ol The
Caduceus).
Dear Ethyl:
I am a young medical man, nineteen
years old. When I left for Camp
• Greene the Jane that I was going
around with steady promised, to write
to me every day. I don’t get ietters
trom her every day. Is she unfaith
ful to me?
Dear Boy:
You’re no blooming curiosity. Pills.
Nobody gets letters every day in thes®
busy days, except the Top Sergeant,
or the Commanding Officer and the
I ostoffice Department. They’re mak
ing a collection of them. Private, col
lectors of letters such as yourself are
just plain out of luck. No, most cer
tainly the “Jane” is not unfaithful to
you. She has undoubtedly written to
you every day, just as she said she
would, but as our postmaster, Ser
geant Jenkins, has not caught up with
his personal correspondence, you will
have to wait.
“Gee! I wish I was a little taller,
Mister Washington.”
“Hows come?”
Cause this heat is betting me by
the inch.”
Do you know why is kissing a girl
like taking olives out of a bottle?”
‘‘I sure see no resemblance.”
Cause after you get the first one
the rest come easy.”
Rastus, can you tell me how you
can tell color by feelin’?”
“They ain’t no such things. Mister
Lazarus.”
|‘Huh? Didn’t you ever feel blue?
“Look here, nigger, your so wise,
maybe you can tell me a good cure
for blues.”
“Paint them red.”
“But you can’t do that in Char
lotte.”
Dear Ethyl:
I fell in love with a girl just be
fore I left Ansonia, without having a
chance to tell her about it. I am a
little shy of writing and telling her,
because such things look different in
plain black and white. What shall 1
^o? CHLORIDE.
Write her by all means, dear loyal
lad. As for the way the young lady
will take it you should worry. You
won’t be around when she reads it, @
so what do you care? Anything goes U
in war time.
“Why hain’t you in the army, you
white livered slacker. Suppose the
Germans would come over here and
attack your very home. Wouldn’t you
fight then?”
“No, sir, I wouldn’t.’’
“Do you mean to say that you
wouldn’t protect your wife?”
“Haw! Haw! Haw!”
“That is nothing to laugh at.
Would you leave your wife absolutely
defenceless?”
“I see you all donT know my wife.'
Dear Ethyl:
I have been writing my girl regular
as hell; big long letters, descriptive
of the Sunny South and everything.
Last week I got a package from her
that contained nothing but Bull Dur
ham tobacco. Do you think she meant
anything by it. Ought I resent it?
Certainly not. She probably does
not know what full of Bull means.
Anyway, don’t resent it until you're
sure of getting tobacco, supply from
some other source.
Ladies and Gentlemen: Roger Due-
berry will now entertain you with a
ditty for bass entitled!
“All we can do is sadly say.
Where are the beers of yesterday?
Dear Ethyl:
I have fallen deeply in love with a
beautiful red-headed nurse, and don’t
know how to break it to my old girl
at home. What shall I do?
I think you are rather indescroet
in calling the nurse at whom cupid
has slung his arrow. You should
have said auDurn-haired, but as for
the girl at home, don’t break it to
her. Just quit writing. She'll catch
on in time. They all do.
SERGEANT HARRINGTON,
Sponsor.
17
phones: 2311-2312
H. Field Co.
WHOLESALE
groceries
‘PRODUCE
FRUITS
VEGETABLES
216 South College Street
CHARLOTTE, - N. C
Sjibwty
®rug §tnrp
‘The Big Store on
the Corner”
Cigars
Tobacco
Soda
AND
Supplies for
Soldiers
Studio and Restaurant
Mf
_ The other evening Secretary Mar
tin “caught” a new species of red bat.
fie is tenderly earing for it, and ex
hibits it cautiously, out free of charge,'
to as many as wish to see it. Those
who have no bats in their belfry would
fietter come and take a look.
5
Privates Allan Wilkison and Edward
Norton have been transferred to duty
in the administration building. They
are acting as clerks to the adjutant
Private Wilkison has been on duty but
two days since his recovery from an
attack of gastro-enteritis.
m connection
NORMAN & STEPHENS
Proprietors.
f,J